Who's talking? -– Rock The Wrinkle

Machines are always talking to us. These days, it seems they’re doing more talking than our friends who can’t get their noses out of their cell phones to eat dinner, enjoy a vacation, or go for a walk in a beautiful park. Everyone has their head down looking at a screen. I wonder if we’ll all end up with a crooked spine because we never look straight ahead anymore.

But I digress.

As I was attempting to check myself out at the grocery store recently, I wondered what would happen in the technology we interact with every day suddenly became very honest. Actually told us what we don’t want to hear, but might need to hear. Or what if it just started arguing with us?

After all, we don’t talk to each other much anymore, so why shouldn’t we argue with the scanner?

I’m scanning items at the grocery. I’m realizing I probably shouldn’t have shopped when I was so tired, so hungry, and so desperate for a few moments of comfort. That always leads to bad choices. So let’s just imagine what the machine would say besides the usual orders to put the item in the bag and an attendant has been notified to assist me.

Scanning cheese dip.

“Really? Cheese dip? You haven’t worked out in weeks. Have you read the fat content?”

Scanning chips.

“Well you might as well get your salt intake for the week. At this point, could it matter? You know, drinking 8 glasses of water doesn’t erase this.”

Scanning dark chocolate peanut butter cups.

“Okay, now it’s clear. You have no desire to pursue nutrition. You’re just in it for the rush. Wow. I mean, sure, dark chocolate is good for you, but two bags? Expecting company??”

Scanning salami.

“Tell you what. You bag your items, I”ll go ahead and phone the emergency room and let them know you’re on your way.”

Scanning broccoli salad.

“Ahh yes, the healthy item, all freshly prepared and boasting nutrients. I’ve got news for you sister, you could put it in your hair at this point and it wouldn’t matter.

But it does make you feel better, doesn’t it?”

Did the scanner really say these things? I don’t think so. Then again, anything’s possible. Scanners now tell you how to do everything, chide you when you do it wrong, and then go blank and inform the nearest armed guard you’re an intruder.

Then there’s driving. How did we ever get along without a rude woman saying “recalculating” every 5 minutes? How did we read maps? Find out way in the dark? Plan our vacations?

We did. Somehow, we did. I can’t even imagine my father programming in a route. He took a map, decided how long he was going to drive each day, calculated his gas mileage every time we stopped, and stopped when he was good and ready. Which was usually long since past when we had fallen asleep in the back seat.

I confess I use a GPS occasionally. Just in case. Just in case I can’t remember alternative routes, or get detoured, or just don’t want to concentrate on where I’m going.

That’s a little scary. Is it really that much work to figure that out?

Sometimes getting lost is the best way to get where you need to go. But you can’t even do that these days without being scolded.

“Turn left.

“No, left. You missed the turn.

“Again.

“You just missed it again.

“No. Stop.

“Make a u-turn. Now go right.

” I said right.

“Aren’t you listening?

“Don’t re-boot me. I’m the only one that knows the way. “

I don’t mind having help. I do ming something else doing all the thinking for me. When did we turn into mindless robots?

Do we really have to check our phones every 15 seconds?

Can’t we sit in an airport lobby and people-watch?

Maybe even…egads...strike up a conversation?

Watch the clouds float by?

Utter a prayer of gratitude?

Just sit?

Daydream?

I’m getting older. I”m trying to keep up with things. But sometimes, a little quiet, a little simplicity, a little human contact…is a very good thing.

I can do it all by myself.

And my transaction always goes through.