Category: We baby boomers (Page 4 of 23)

The bird in the airport.

11/06/2018 / Laura

The bird in the airport.

You know the one I mean.

The little bird you see hopping around near the unused gate. Out of place, confused, yet hopeful. Surely there’s a way out of this giant place, but none of the doors or windows ever seem to open.

How did he get there? What does he eat? Where does he sleep?

I find myself worrying about this little guy, even while dragging myself through terminals with too much hanging from my shoulders and more often than not, too much time on my hands due to canceled or delayed flights.

He seems to make the best of his situation. Scampering about looking for crumbs. Staying out of the way of heavy suitcases and beeping trams. At least he’s sheltered from the outside, no worries of a sudden storm or fierce wind blowing it from a tree limb.

But does he ever feel the sun on his feathers?

Does he miss flying close to the sky? Has he ever done so?

Does he sense that there’s something he’s missing, that’s just a few feet away, waiting for him?

Do you ever feel like that? Trapped in the same routine, the same life plan, walking the same path day after day, not even noticing anymore that there is something else out there?

It’s so much easier to just stay where you are. On the couch. At the kitchen table. Sitting by the phone. Places that don’t really connect to your soul; yet have become comfortable and familiar.

Because getting out there…finding a way out to the great beyond…is difficult. And scary. And unpredictable.

And there’s nothing wrong with sitting still, staying where you are, and finding peace in the familiar. As long as it is what you truly want. And if you’ve had a lifetime of taking risks and putting yourself out there, you’ve more than earned some sit-still time.

But if you start to feel confined…if you can’t remember how you got where you are…if you’ve stopped listening to what heart and soul is saying….that’s another story.

It’s hard enough to negotiate the airport, much less free your spirit to take wing.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –

And sore must be the storm –

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –

And on the strangest Sea –

Yet – never – in Extremity,

It asked a crumb – of me.

Emily Dickinson, “Hope is the thing with feathers”

It’s a good idea to remember that those around us might be just as unsure of where they want to be. Their days might not be filled with the people or the activities they’d like. They might be dreaming of taking flight, yet they are realizing those days might have past. So when our paths intersect, maybe we can cut the other person a little more slack.

Because even when we’re not “going somewhere”, we are still on a journey. And kindness from strangers is always welcome—as well as from those we know very well.

Maybe next time you’re in the airport, leave a few extra crumbs on your chair. It might mean the world.

“You haven’t seen a tree until you’ve seen its shadow from the sky.”

Amelia Earhart

Losing a diamond in the rough.

10/23/2018 / Laura

I lost a good friend recently. He was a true good, gentle spirit. A gentleman to a fault. In a profession of egos and insanity, he maintained an even, quiet demeanor that was consistent, no matter what kind of day he was having.

He did not enter a room and strategize how he could assume control. He did not carry an impressive day planner or leather portfolio. I never, in working with him for 30+ years, saw him wear a suit. He simply carried himself with a confident dignity that spoke much louder than wearing a watch that can control the refrigerator. His mode of transportation was anything but the coolest model off the showroom floor. In fact, his beat-up car/truck/suv/crossover would have come in handy on Let’s Make a Deal, because everything he needed was inside.

I don’t remember ever having a disagreement with him. True, his alma mater was not my favorite, but I could forgive, as he had played football for his school and was very proud of his accomplishments. No matter how tough the assignments we faced as colleagues, or how hot the day, he’d always say, “This ain’t nothing. Try two-a-days” in a reference to two practice workouts in one day in sweltering temps prior to the football season.

His point: I’ve seen worse. We’ll get through this.

And we always did, even when the demands of our clients were unorganized, unfair, and often ridiculous. He would do what it required, whether it was a weekend, nighttime or holiday. He was driven by a commitment to show up, do a good job, and be a grownup.

I can’t say how much I miss him.

As a friend, it hurts because he always made me laugh. He loved music, he loved sports, and he loved his family. He was a pleasure to be around. As a colleague, I know I may never find anyone quite like him again. Granted, I still work on projects with talented, mature, reasonable people. But this particular person was from an era that we won’t see again, at least not for a long while.

Maybe one day again, people will truly respect each other for their experience and their talent, and not dismiss them if they don’t know the latest share-file software.

Maybe one day again, every person involved in a project will take a personal interest in seeing that it is done correctly, on time, and in budget.

Maybe one day again, appearances, hairstyles and clothing won’t matter as much as wisdom, accuracy and reliability.

I hope so. Because I can assure those under 40 that when you work in this manner, you feel better, smile more and sleep much more soundly.

He’s in a better place, at least I believe so. He’s strumming his guitar and relaxing knowing he made a difference here. I hope I can do the same. We all must.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

Anne Frank

Stand up. Dismiss. Be Patient.

10/09/2018 / Laura

The world seems to have gone mad. Anger is everywhere. Reason has taken a vacation. Neighbors scowl at one another, family members glare over the dinner table, friends disappear as events of the day spiral even further out of control. What can we do? We boomers who have lived lives of hard work, worry, duty and responsibility? How can we keep peace around us, and somehow, peace within our hearts when we see so many things we fought for falling by the side of the road?

There’s so much that can be said. Yet it feels like too much has been said already. Maybe it’s time to be still enough to hear the peace that can be found if we search hard enough. And if peace really does begin with each of us, take a new look at Walt Whitman and his words. Soothing. Encouraging. And forceful.

Hear what he has to say:

“This is what you shall do:

Love the earth and the sun and the animals

despise riches, give alms to every one that asks

stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others

hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people

take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men

go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families

read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life,

re-examine all that you have been told at school or church or in any book

dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes

and in every motion and joint of your body.”

Dismiss what insults you. Hold fast to your heart. Reach out to those with less.

Walt had the idea.

Like Lieutenant Dan in Forest Gump, we can hold tight to the mast…the winds can only blow so long. Meanness, evil and lack of justice will, like any noxious weed, eventually wither and disappear.

And in their place, new life can grow.

“The world will not be destroyed by evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.”

Albert Einstein

Sizing up aging: finding clothes that fit.

08/21/2018 / Laura

Some people hate going to the dentist. Others do anything to avoid cleaning out the garage. Or doing their taxes. Or raking leaves.

Me…shopping for clothes. Oh it used to be fun, years ago. Maybe I’m crazy but it sure seemed clothes were more attractive back then. Putting them on wasn’t difficult. (Weren’t the buttons bigger? They sure seemed bigger.) Looking in the mirror wasn’t akin to watching a vampire movie.

Not anymore. Is it me, or does there seem to be a conspiracy of ugly clothes, impossible sizes and dressing room mirrors that double as carnival sideshows?

Just because we’re boomers, we shouldn’t have to be tortured when we go shopping.

Things change. We’ve changed. And clothes have changed…and it seems, not for the better.

A new study published in the International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology, and Education reveals, “The average size of an American woman is now between 16 to 18, which is an increase from 10-year-old data that indicated most women in the U.S. were a size 14.” Scientists have now determined that the average waist circumference has increased 2.6 inches in the past 21 years, which is why there has been an increase in clothing size.
According to a study by J. Walter Thompson London, 69% of women between 53 and 72 feel that they’re ignored by the fashion industry. Some 82% of the women surveyed believe that the clothes aimed at their age group are too old-fashioned.
And it’s not only women. The average weight of American men has increased by about 15 pounds over the last two decades, according to a new study published today by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Especially depressing is to embark on a new fitness program, sign up for classes, be ready to sweat and work hard, and then try to find workout clothes you can breathe in. Surprise! They are made for 75-pound people who run along the shore all day posing for soft drink commercials. They are not made for anyone who wants to lose 10 pounds.

Why are we letting this happen? We should rebel.

All of us.

Give us clothes that ft. Give us clothes that we feel good in. Give us clothes we can actually leave the house in.

After all, it was OUR generation that transformed fashion, took risks, brought high styles to women in affordable, wearable clothing. So why have we been abandoned? Why does it feel like a scene from a James Bond film when we shop? (“We’ve caught you, double agent 543, and now for the torture…you have to try on these clothes, in front of a 3-way mirror, and actually walk out into the store! And if you don’t give us the secret war codes, you’ll have to try on….a swimsuit!!”)

According to Forbes:

“Boomers are finding themselves trapped between two worlds–desperate not to become their parents and reluctant to dress like their children. Their challenge is to find clothing that is age-appropriate and fashionable….Unfortunately, according to a Mintel survey of Baby Boomers, more than half of respondents said there are few retailers that carry appealing merchandise, and one-third said stores catering to their demographic have unstylish clothing….

Yet it’s us baby boomers who have the most money to spend. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the current 83.4 million Boomers have a collective spending power of more than $2 trillion and hold 50% of all discretionary income.

Add to the dilemma the barrage of messages you get online about all the things you should not wear if you’re over 50. Not that too many of us are running out the door in a micro-mini skirt or speedo swim trunks, but come on. After a while, it starts to feel like we should stay inside with the shades drawn, or just put a hole in a potato bag and tie a rope around our waists.

(Yes, children, potatoes used to come in bags. See how worldly we boomers are?)

RockTheWrinkle has made this appeal before to retailers: pay attention to us! Macy’s, Dillards, Chico’s, J Jill, whoever and whatever…get smart! If you stock it, they will come! Of course there’s always the great catalogs who seem to get it more than others, like Land’s End, LL Bean and others. Clothes that fit, sleeves long enough to cover a few brushes with too much cheese dip, and forgiving lines. And they actually look good.

But so many times a trip to the dressing room is just too depressing. And it shouldn’t be. We are NOT (most of us) a size 4. And we don’t want to be. We are beautiful, or handsome, just as we are and we should be able to dress that way.

And don’t even get me started on shoes . (But thank the universe for Aravon, Taos, Merrell, Cobb Hill, Rockport, Rieker and Jambo, to name a few. You make stylish shoes for women that take orthotics. Thank you.)

So what do you think? Do we stop shopping? Do we write designers and clothing manufacturers and tell them what we think? Do we call up online catalogs and offer our opinions? If you have an idea, I’d love to hear it. How are you handling this frustration?

“Style is something each of us already has, all we need to do is find it.” —Diane von Furstenberg

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” —Yves Saint Laurent

“When in doubt, wear red.” —Bill Blass