Category: We baby boomers (Page 23 of 23)

Hug & be healthy.

01/19/2015 / Laura

Valentines cards, candy, and gifts are already in the stores, which is no surprise. Little red hearts and cute stuffed animals can make the most rational adult go screaming into the night if you don’t want to think about your romantic life (or lack of it).

As boomers and those with more years to our credit, we’ve been through this enough to ignore it if we choose. But one thing is worth paying attention to: how genuinely good it is for our health to touch one another, be affectionate, and have close relationships.

(Whether that relationship is with another human, an animal, or your leaf blower is up to you.)

Research is all over this. Holding hands reduces stress and pain, and the effects can last throughout the day. Being around people you care for causes you to experience a rise in “feel good” hormones like dopamine, which give us focus, energy, and optimism.

Companionship and affection can even help protect you from dementia, by helping build up our reserve of healthy brain cells, among other benefits.

Studies show that having a group of friends can help you live a longer and healthier life, especially when those friends are a mix of ages. I’ve always believed everyone should have at least one good friend over 80. You will learn more about patience and perspective than you ever thought possible.

Being social can boost your immune system. Friends lessen grief, enrich your life and improve your health. Friends can help you achieve your weight loss and fitness goals (unless they feel the need to share a 10-pound bag of M&Ms with you).

Just a simple hug can lower blood pressure.

And it’s true no matter our age. In fact, studies confirm that “elder” (I’ll let you define that term) romance can help people avoid possible health issues. The reason is you tend to be more active when you are sweet on someone. Your mind is fresher and more alive. You don’t feel depressed or alone.

Of course, there are many people who are alone…so what can they do?

Find good friends and spend time with them. Stay in touch. Hug when you see each other. Pat them on the back if a hug is more than you feel comfortable with. Build a bond of mutual caring and support.

It’s called “social capital”…the ties that build trust, connection and participation. It feels good to know someone cares, and the first step is often in our court—letting that person know we care.

So maybe the best valentine we can send is one to ourselves…to remind us that we can be a friend, have friends, and add some human touch without getting all uptight-American about it.

Cause it feels good as a dark chocolate truffle…without the calories.

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

Mother Teresa

How To Shop Estate Sales.

12/22/2014 / Laura

Like to look for rare treasures? Want a new hobby that gets you out of the house and lets you make friends with other boomers, see the insides of some historic homes, and maybe happen upon that unusual find?

Then you might be interested in learning the art of estate sales.

We boomers love nostalgia. We lived through some fascinating trends…LPs, Time/Life books, Slinky, percolators, rotary phones, sewing machines, bean bag chairs….

For some, estate sales are an addiction, for others, just a way to pass the time. I confess occasionally I enjoy the whole process though I am a novice. Which is why I recently interviewed a boomer couple who are true estate sale sharks…and they have the purchases to prove it.

Over the years, they’ve found stunning antique cabinets and other large pieces of furniture. Valuable collectibles like Lladro, Hummel and Beatrix Potter. Old books and posters. Classic records, vintage toys and more. In some cases, for amazingly low prices. (I think boomers appreciate bargains more than anybody!)

And along the way, they’ve come to know the “regulars”…people they see in line at many estate sales. It’s a close-knit society. Members of this society often will cooperate with one another because after a while, you know who’s looking for what and they know what you’re looking for.

But how do you go about successfully sniffing out and cruising an estate sale? Here are some tips from my experts:

Sign up on websites like estatesales.net, estatesales.org and gslar.com. You can receive emails that will list sales in your area, often with photos of items. Plus, on gsalr.com, you can enter key words that might come up in descriptions of items for sale in a particular house. That can really narrow your search.

Decide which sale you are most interested in and make that your first stop. Even if you don’t sign up to receive emails, you can still visit websites like estatesales.net, estatesales.org and gsalr.com the night before a sale to check out the locations of sales, and look at photos of items.

Get there early. At least an hour early if you really want something and you think others might also be interested. You’ll have to stand in line, but most likely you can pass the time talking to others there. Dress for the weather.
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See if anyone is standing outside that represents the sale. If so, ask where you desired item is. For example, is the antique desk in the master bedroom? Upstairs? Knowing where it is before the door opens can be a major advantage.

Bring cash just in case. Some sales take credit cards and checks. Some are cash only. Don’t be disappointed.

Bring a big or box if you are anticipating picking up something fragile.

If you do see something you think you might want, go ahead and pick it up while you decide. You can always put it back after you’ve walked around the house. But if someone else gets it, you’re out of luck.

Pricing: most dealers will not come down on the price the first day. You can ask, and if it’s something that they think won’t sell quickly, they might make a deal, especially if you’re already buying other items. But in most cases, it’s the second or third day when you get the deals.

Why go to estate sales if you’re really not looking for anything?

One reason is sometimes the sale is in a beautiful old home in a beautiful neighborhood, and it’s interesting to see the architecture and furnishings. Another reason is sometimes it’s just fun to see what you might find…a memory from the past like an old record, toy or cooking tool you haven’t seen in years. Plus if you have grandchildren, you often can find children’s clothing and toys in great condition for a very low price. Same thing with gardening tools, golfing items, and kitchen utensils.

My finds have been everything from an ornate handheld fan (my church doesn’t have air conditioning) to perfectly good garden pots for two dollars to an original Russell Wright pitcher that matches a set I inherited from my mother. In some ways, it’s bittersweet to look at items that were once possessions of another person…you wonder what happened to them, and you wonder if the same thing will happen to your stuff. But then I think most of the people who frequent estate sales really treasure what they find, so at least the items are getting a good home.

And finally, another great benefit of going to estate sales: you can go to breakfast afterwards!

“I’m the oldest antique in town.”

Norman Rockwell

Give Your Time This Season.

12/04/2014 / Laura

The season of giving is upon us, and with it, many opportunities to be overwhelmed, depressed, and caught in countless traffic jams. As we get older it’s a little easier to understand Ebenezer Scrooge’s mood with all the frenzy that is happening around us. Or if we’re alone or far from family, it can feel very lonely.

A surefire way to turn this around: help someone. Give your time, your talent, and your wisdom to make a difference in someone else’s life.

It really isn’t that hard to do and it could be the greatest gift you ever give—or receive.

But what can I do, you say? You’re retired, it’s been years since you’ve been in the workplace, and you really don’t think you have any skills anyone can use.

Say that to Tom Frazier, director of Blues City Thrift in Memphis, Tennessee, and he’ll tell you otherwise. Just a few years ago, Tom’s days were filled with hard drives, software upgrades, and his customers who were often in frantic need of his company’s computer maintenance genius. (I was one of them.)

Then after moving on from that business and taking a few months off, Tom found himself without a next step—and he didn’t like it.

“My mantra for years has been that retirement is not necessarily a good thing, but change is,” says Tom. “ I’ve always felt change is as good as a vacation. I realized that I had forgotten that—so I made some changes.” This included volunteering to pick up and drive Veterans needing to visit the local Veterans Hospital. He also volunteered with an urban farmers market in Binghampton, a Memphis neighborhood.

But then along came an opportunity that Tom didn’t expect, but which gave him an opportunity to use his managerial skills and his desire to be of service to others—creating a nice, neat, quality thrift store where the proceeds go to help other Memphis charities.

In other words, a business that makes money to give to charities…hence the store’s tagline, “Thrifty Goods for a Greater Good.”

Tom started working with Blues City Thrift before it even had a location…as a part-time employee driving a large truck to pick up donated items and deliver them to donated warehouse space. “That was a humbling experience for me,” he says. Fast-forward to today’s Blues City Thrift…almost 13,000 clean and well-arranged square feet holding a range of items for sale. The store employs a few individuals who have had trouble finding work elsewhere, and also has several volunteers.

“I really enjoy coming into contact with many people I might never have met, people who are definitely struggling or just want to make their dollars stretch more. Maybe they need a $10 suit for an interview. Or they’d like their house to look nicer but they can’t afford a big department store. Blues City Thrift is nice, neat, well-lit and organized…and you can still get a pair of $2.99 jeans.”

Tom isn’t new to helping others. His past includes serving as a missionary on a voyage bringing books to schools in over 40 underdeveloped countries in Africa and Asia. He still finds being of service uplifting and energizing.

“At Blues City Thrift, we are sometimes offered items that we can’t accept, because our standards are too high. In those cases, we give dozens of bags of items to ministries all over town who serve the homeless. We recycle everything. The work is challenging and never boring…I enjoy it so much I hate to take a day off!”

For a person who is still employed full-time, donating several hours a week to a charity or organization may not be possible. But like Tom says, if someone is feeling left out, just sitting at home all day, watching television, surfing the web, trying to figure out what to do with empty hours…there are so many agencies and charities that need a person’s time and talent.

Everyone has a skill. That’s what we boomers are known for!

Maybe you know bookkeeping. How to arrange a shelf. You might excel at greeting people with a smile. Stacking a box or two. Pouring cups of coffee. Doing inventory. Helping someone get to the doctor. Several hours a week, a few hours on Saturday, whatever your schedule allows. As Tom says, it’s so important and humanizing to lend a hand to people who are having a hard time at the moment…and anybody can do it.

Don’t think you are too old, or too out of touch, or too set in your ways. I think nothing energizes us like getting out of ourselves and getting into helping another.

And research tells us helping others is good for us.

Studies have linked helping others to a decreased mortality risk, especially when there is a social connection involved. It begins a “cycle” of giving that continues in you. Generosity is a key factor in a happy marriage. Simply put, helping others feels good…and it’s good for your health.

“I kind of backed into this opportunity,” says Tom. “I had never even been in a thrift store, and now I love what I am doing. My wife, Sandra, is working here as well, so we’re together every day. In fact, we’re more in love than ever.” Tom, who is turning 64 this month, also recently produced a CD of songs he’s been writing since the 1970s. “Funny what you can still do!”

So give it a thought. Tis’ the season to give. Maybe there’s a part of you that would make a tremendous gift for someone else. Maybe in 2015 you decide you’re going to spend a few hours outside your comfort zone making a difference. Just imagine what you could receive!