Category: We baby boomers (Page 21 of 23)

Friendship never grows old.

03/30/2015 / Laura

Making new friends…do you find that easy to do? Do you stay in touch with many old friends, or just a few? (sorry about the rhyming.)

If you’ve moved across the country, changed jobs, divorced or undergone any major life change, finding new friends—and keeping the old—can be a challenge. When we’re younger, there seem to be so many opportunities to meet others who share our interests. But it can get a lot tougher as we age.

I remember years ago working with a person who said, “I have enough friends. I don’t need any more.” This person was probably 40. I was so taken aback by that statement; I couldn’t imagine not wanting to add new friends to my life.

I’ve been fortunate in that even though I did move to a new part of the country, I have made a few very precious new friends. And just as satisfying is keeping friendships alive that I had at my previous address. In fact, there are a few friends I’ve not seen since I was a child.

What is it that makes one friendship stick, while another fades away?

For me, changing my life taught me many things about friendships. One big lesson was how much I value people who are giving, caring, and interested in others. They’re the ones you can count on when things are bleak. They’re not just your pals when you have a great job, live in a cool city, or have good connections. They’re the ones who will sit with you when cry about a lost love, rage over an unfair boss, or worry over an aging parent.

And when you have a friend like that, you for sure want him or her in your life always.

Some studies suggest we are friends with people who look like us (I’m not so sure about this). Other studies say there’s some genetic connection; that we sense others with a similar gene makeup. Then there’s the whole theory behind how we often become friends with those we see a great deal, whether through work or church or sitting in a coffee shop every Tuesday.

I’d like to think that as we become older, we are better at seeing past the superficial and choosing a friend simply on who he or she is…a good person. Someone we want to spend time with. And someone who is willing to drive us to the airport, sit in a hospital waiting room, and listen to our bad jokes (as we should do for them).

And just as importantly, I hope that I have learned enough to be a great friend myself.

Research tells us how good for us good friends are, especially if we’re over 50. Having a good friend boosts our immune system, increases our “feel good” hormones, reduces stress and pain, lessens grief, and even helps protect against dementia.

For sure, some “friendships” are not good for us. I have had some, and I’ll bet you know the type. They talk a good game, but they’re not around when a good friend would be. Or they suddenly just drop you like a hot potato. As a wise man once said, life is too short…just walk away.

Have your ideas about friendship changed as you’ve grown older? What do you think makes a truly great friend?

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”

Charles Dickens

Who ya’ rootin’ for?

03/19/2015 / Laura

I absolutely love college basketball.

I love going to games when I can, love watching them on television, and really love love the whole March Madness insanity.

What I love most is when an underdog….or more correctly, a team that hasn’t received the recognition it should…wins over the favorite. I love to see young athletes have their day in the sun and confound the so-called experts.

I know better than to tell you which teams I root for.

But there’s nothing better than going to your alma mater’s game…clapping during the fight song as you’ve done a million times…yelling when the lights go out and they introduce your guys…and cheering every time a basket is made. Hearing the bad play with such heart (love the drum section). Trying to catch the t-shirts from the cannon. Eating junk food and loving it.

And yes, I also love watching women’s basketball. Talk about heart. And skill. And pure ability. They often have to endure tiny crowds and no publicity.

But they work as hard or harder than the men, and they are very, very good.

This year, I’ll be yelling as always, watching games and pulling my hair. Unfortunately, my number one team did not make it this time. But I always find a group of kids I think deserve it. To me, that means being a true team, helping each other, and not giving up.

If you have never been a fan of college sports, you might check it out sometime. You won’t find this kind of spirit, courage, and tears in the pros. This is about fighting until your last breath. Believing that for one moment, you really can change your life forever.

I’m not trying to glorify athletes. No one was more uncoordinated than me in school…I was not fan of the “jocks”. But camaraderie…common goals…helping each other…that’s something I can support.

The International Mental Game Coaching Association (IMGCA) says we follow sports because they teach us about loyalty, perseverance, and honor. It helps us bond. We live vicariously through the athletes we watch. We can safely experience drama, suspension and resolution, without ever being in any danger.

And interestingly, IMGCA also says sports can trigger our reptilian brain…tribal instincts and the whole fight or flight thing.

I know my poor pets have run and hid more than once when I yelled at the television over a bad call.

If you are a boomer or beyond, you probably have some great memories about some of the all-time heroes of college ball. Like Oscar Robertson. Michael Jordan. Larry Byrd. Or Chamique Holdsclaw. Val Whiting, or Seimone Augustus.

It’s a time of year when the whole concept that “anything is possible” really holds water. Just ask anyone who watched North Carolina State beat Houston in the NCAA finals in 1983.

I also love football. Watching the Indy circuit. Baseball. Tennis. Soccer. Track and field.

Sometimes, David really does get the edge on Goliath. And it just feels good to watch.

What are your favorite sports memories?

“Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.”

Michael Jordan

Still listening to my LPs.

02/26/2015 / Laura

That sound….a phonograph needle set lightly down on vinyl….the crackle as the grooves give up their treasure….ahhhhhh.

I don’t know about you, but this is one boomer who still loves her LPs and record player. Because sometimes, nothing else will do.

Sure, I have other ways to hear music. A few years ago I gave up my floor size JBL speakers and consolidated down to a small Bose wave system that packs a mighty punch sound-wise. I listen to CDS and an IPod on it, as well as the radio.

But for the old tunes that evoke strong memories, nothing beats a turntable and good pair of speakers.

Luckily, I’ve kept my record collection. So I can hear Phil and Don Everly like they’re supposed to be heard: fresh and real with an occasional pop or skip. As well countless other artists from the 50s, 60s, 70s…and even a few older upstarts like Mozart and Beethoven.

For sure blues artists sound better.

Even just holding the album jacket feels good. I love reading the liner notes. Love thinking about how they selected the photograph or artwork that ended up being chosen. I remember being so excited to see the latest Beatles album. (My father never could understand why we needed more than one.) It’s still a ton of fun to spend an afternoon in a vintage vinyl shop and find some classic LPs for a few bucks.

CDs are great, they sound good, you get a lot more tunes on them, but holding that piece of plastic in my hands doesn’t give me the same thrill.

And it is a thrill. Music can lower our blood pressure. It releases endorphins to lessen physical pain. It’s been found to speed up post-stroke recovery. Help with migraines. Research has suggested listening to Mozart helps improve memory and enhance learning ability.

Music can make you happy, and it isn’t addictive. Doesn’t have cholesterol. And it won’t make you fat. And it’s the best way I know to get yourself out of the dumps…I confess to loving how it feels to immerse myself in music—even if that means getting my brain right next to the speakers.

Of course, listening to music that’s way too loud can be bad for you. I’m sure my hearing is not quite what it should be after too many years as an adolescent with earphones. And I know I came out of more than one rock concert wondering why people around me were moving their mouths and I couldn’t hear them.

Maybe that’s one reason I enjoy hearing albums so much…the feeling you are in the studio with them. If there’s a pop or a hiss or a bump, it just sounds like part of the recording process.

I’m sure new technology will soon emerge and we’ll all be expected to scramble to convert.

But I’m not giving up my turntable.

And while I confess I don’t get to a lot of rock concerts anymore, I won’t give up my memories of those I’ve been to…Creedence Clearwater Revival, Doobie Brothers, James Taylor, Three Dog Night, Little Feat, Steve Winwood, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Bruce Springsteen, The Police, Huey Lewis & The News, Tom Petty, The Moody Blues, The Rolling Stones, Steely Dan, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Lyle Lovett, Boz Scaggs, Chicago, Genesis, Men at Work, Billy Joel, Santana, Al Jarreau, Eric Clapton, Delbert McClinton, Ray Charles, Asleep at The Wheel, U2, Bonnie Raitt, Booker T. & The MGs, Pat Metheny, B.B. King, and a host of fantastic artists in small venues and dives around the music-lovin’ town of Memphis, Tennessee. I’m sure I’m leaving some out.

People I wish I could have heard live? Dean Martin. Elvis Presley. Patsy Cline. Nat King Cole. George Harrison. I’m determined to hear Placido Domingo sing live one of these days. I’d love to see Brian Seltzer strut his stray cat boogie on a stage. And so many of the all-time great blues artists are leaving us…truly a great loss.

What was your favorite concert? Your favorite album? Share your memories…it might get you to humming your favorite songs…and that might make you very happy.

“The only truth is music.”

Jack Kerouac

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Turning the page.

02/19/2015 / Laura

I confess. I’m a book nerd. I still love old-fashioned hold-in-my-hand books.

With paper pages, bindings, covers, and inside flaps. I love how a book feels in my hand, how it smells, how smooth the pages feel.

I love opening a new book for the first time. Entering its world and dipping my toes in its wonder and promise. Using a bookmark to hold my place or dog-earing a page if I feel I’ll be coming back to a section again and again.

I like giving other people books and writing a dedication in them.

So no, I’m not an e-reader by first choice. I don’t Kindle. I don’t Nook. It just feels at bit cold and impersonal to me. I know there are good reasons to go electronic: e-books are easier for travel, lighter to carry, don’t take up space on a shelf, and so on. Great. Enjoy.

I happen to like the whole tactile relationship I have with a book. For me, the weight of the paper, width of the page, choice of font, and placement of photos or illustrations is part of the author’s message. After all, some suffering fool agonized over these words for possibly years. I think reading it merits more action than a few clicks.

Yes, I’m a baby boomer, so maybe having Dick and Jane as my first literary introduction has something to do with it. But actually I’ve met others who love books and they’re quite young…they’re not ready to go completely touchscreen yet.

Thank heavens.

I can’t even imagine an elementary classroom with children asked to pull out their readers and then the clicking begins.

I cherish the books I loved as a child, and still have many of them. The Mother West Wind Stories by Thornton W. Burgess. Raggedy Ann, Charlotte’s Web, and Alice in Wonderland. Countless books about horses and animals. Poetry and inspiration. Some have inscriptions from my mother. Others bring back memories of summer afternoons made even more pleasant by wonderful stories. I sincerely hope future generations can have these experiences. Because I just think some books are meant to be just that…books.

Case in point. I have a copy of Cosmigraphics by Michael Benson, a wonderful coffee-table book that looks at the discovery of the universe through breathtaking maps, illustrations, paintings, and more that span 1,000 years. The images are amazing and command a large page. It’s a thrill to leaf through. I don’t think I’d get the same effect on a small screen.

But alas, things have changed, and for many authors, being published online is an opportunity to get their work out there to new audiences. I appreciate that, and applaud anyone who’s published a book in any form. But it just seems a it too easy, when so many great writers struggle and agonize for years just to get the attention of an agent, much less a publisher. (Like when we were all told that the Evelyn Wood method of speed-reading was so wonderful….and someone asked, “but what about the writer who spent days deciding between a comma or a period? Won’t that get missed in a supersonic reading speed?)

Still, I hope and pray that books stick around and independent book stores still are there for those of us who love getting lost in them. MacDonald Bookshop in Estes Park, Colorado. Collected Works in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe in Washington, D.C. Burke’s Bookstore in Memphis, Tennessee. To name a few.