Category: We baby boomers (Page 20 of 23)

A Month to Remember

04/30/2015 /

Okay all you wise owls…May is Older Americans Month, and the theme is “Get Into the Act”.   The idea is to improve the quality of life for older Americans, promote health aging, increase community involvement and tackle issues that affect seniors.

photo-1415226581130-91cb7f52f078This May marks the 50th anniversary of the Older Americans Act (OAA), so it’s kind of a big deal.  The Act has provided a nationwide aging services network and funding that helps older adults live with dignity in the communities of their choice for as long as possible. These services include home-delivered and congregate meals, caregiver support, community-based assistance, preventive health services, elder abuse prevention, and much more.

Let’s don’t split hairs over which of us falls under the classification of “older”…I think instead, it’s good to focus on the value of all who have life experience, wisdom, political savvy, and the purchasing power to make a difference in our world.

For example, we mentor.  Volunteer.  Babysit.  Lead corporations and run small businesses.  Travel the world.  Buy cars, go to the movies, attend concerts and plays.

  • Over the next 30 years, the 65+ population will be the largest segment.
  • Adults 55-64 continue to outspend the average consumer in nearly every category. Yet AARP reports Americans 50+ are targeted by just 10% of marketing.
  • Americans 55 and older are the fastest-growing age group among gym members.
  • One-third of all internet users in the U.S. are over 50.

We matter.  And the older and more frail among us deserve our attention and support.  That’s why laws like the OAA are so vital.  The National Council on Aging reports that over 23 million  Americans aged 60 and older are economically insecure. They struggle with rising housing and health care bills, inadequate nutrition, lack of access to transportation, diminished savings and job loss.  One third of all senior households has no money left or is in debt after paying additional expenses.

In 2011, an alarming 27% of older adults living in poverty were at risk for hunger.

There are of course many other issues that older Americans are dealing with.  We all should be aware of what is happening in our communities…are seniors going without basic needs?  Are there programs and services set aside to help?  If not, can we lobby for more?  Sure we can.

We can email or write members of congress about specific concerns, hands-compassionwhich can include chronic disease, falls prevention, and elder justice.  More personally, we can check on an elderly person who may not have an advocate—are their living conditions safe?  Do they need an occasional help with transportation?  Could we take a few hours from our weekend to spend time with them?

It’s obvious that we all could be there someday…wondering if anyone sees us, will help us, or even cares.  So let’s start now.

 “Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.”

           Albert Schweitzer

How rudeness hurts us.

04/23/2015 /

Recently I was walking my dog down a sidewalk when a 30-ish woman and her two children on bicycles and a dog approached me, taking up most of the sidewalk. My dog and I moved over as far as we could and just as we were about to pass this small group, the woman’s dog got a bit close and made my dog a bit nervous, so I pulled us even more to the side.

Instead of just passing us, or tightening her leash on her own pet, the woman yelled out in a very loud and very unfriendly voice something quite uncalled for and directed at me.

I was a bit stunned—my dog and I did nothing wrong. We had moved over to let this group pass. Why in the world would she make a public scene…and in front of her children?

Of course I had many responses in my head…things I wanted to say very badly after she walked by. But her children were with her, which stopped me.

 Though quite obviously, that did not stop her.

So many times I see what I consider to be an attack of “entitlement” come over people of a particular age group. (Yes, here I am, someone over 50, shaking my wrinkled finger at someone younger while my teeth fall out.)

Not really.

I just don’t understand.

I’ve never felt entitled, or that the world owed me something, or, that anyone around me should just put up with my pets if they’re acting up. Quite the opposite.

 It used to be called courtesy. Civility. A realization that while I may be special to those who love me, and special to the spirit that created me, I’m not “special” in traffic, crowds, long lines, or at the motor vehicle registration office. I’m just another person.

This seems to be a lost idea.

But wait. Didn’t Tom Wolfe call us boomers the “Me Generation” back in the 1970s? Self-centered and spoiled?

Were we? Are we still?

And is rudeness just what it is…a sign of changes in society that has nothing to do with age? Did our grandparents shake their heads and wonder what had become of manners?

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It really does feel like things are a bit coarser these days, like taking the soft and forgiving road just isn’t done much. I confess to quick irritation when a driver cuts me off haphazardly or someone jumps in line ahead of me. And I’m sure negative breeds negative. And granted, as boomers and beyond, we didn’t grow up with the need (or just the temptation) to constantly be sticking our noses in electronic devices to see stock prices, weather, and funny texts…we actually interacted with those around us.

So being polite was the smart thing to do. And it’s lot easier than being rude.

In fact, according to Psychology Today, rudeness can wreck your health. Talking down to someone. Ignoring a co-worker. Being impolite. When this happens to us on a regular basis, it can lead to anxiety, depression, weight gain, heart disease, sleep problems, and digestive ailments.

And sometimes the rudeness isn’t so blunt. Like when we interrupt each other constantly. Or never show up for a date or social engagement on time. Can’t put down our cell phone when we’re supposed to be enjoying another person’s company. Laugh off another’s anxiety when he or she is revealing a deep hurt.

Research says when we do that, we’re not seeing the other person as an equal. Or we may in fact be so insecure we don’t know how else to act.

I admit I stay confused about some of this…I’ve been around such cordial strangers and seen such acts of kindness. I’ve traveled to cities where I had been warned everyone would be rude, and they were the kindest people I’ve met. And like all of us, I’ve been ignored, disrespected, and left wondering what is ailing the other person.

dioSo maybe it comes down to realizing we don’t know what’s going on with that person; what hurt lies inside; what bad day have they had; why do they choose that behavior. Maybe we will be the only nice person they meet today (this of course assumes we are nice!). Maybe for now, let just have to let them be who they are.

And challenge ourselves to be what we can—the best version of our own self.

 “I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.”

     Rudyard Kipling

 

 

 

 

 

The Road More Traveled

04/20/2015 /

“When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch.  When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age.  In middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job.  Nothing has worked.  Four hoarse blasts of a ship’s whistle still raise the hair on my neck and set my feet to tapping.  The sound of a jet, an engine warming up, even the clopping of shod hooves on pavement brings on the ancient shudder, the dry mouth and vacant eye, the hot palms and the church of stomach high up under the rib cage.  In other words, I don’t improve; in further words, once a bum always a bum.  I fear the disease is incurable.  I set this matter down not to instruct others but to inform myself.”    John Steinbeck, opening of “Travels With Charley.”

One of my favorite books.  I first read it many many years ago when I was a girl sitting outside on summer days thinking about all the places I had never seen, and how much fun it would be to just travel when I wanted without a care.  I always had a kind of wanderlust, maybe because our family moved every few years, or maybe because my soul was just always looking over the horizon.

photo-1413920346627-a4389f0abd61The need to keep moving, to explore the unknown—do we, as John stated so eloquently, ever really grow out of it?

Or do we just compromise, and tell that part of us to be quiet.   That we have to grow up now and be “responsible.”

In “Travels With Charley”, Steinbeck does take off in an old camper he calls Rocinante with his beloved canine companion, Charley.  Together the pair really does travel all over and meet all kinds of people.  An excerpt:

“You going in that?”

“Sure.”

“Where?”

“All over.”

“And then I saw what I was to see so many times on the journey—a look of longing.  “Lord!  I wish I could go.”

“You don’t even know where I’m going.”

“I don’t care.  I’d like to go anywhere.”

Are we all born with this traveling bug, but many of us lose it over time?  I wonder.  I never really did, though I didn’t always get to take off on grand adventures.  When I finally realized it was time to start seeing the places I longed to see, I did it…and many times I just took of on my own.  That really freaked out a lot of people.  It still does.

Aren’t you scared?  What if something happens?  What if you get bored?  What if you get lonely?  Aren’t you terrified to go somewhere completely new?

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Here’s my theory:

  • A few butterflies in the stomach when you do something new is good for you.
  • Things can “happen” at any time, no matter how many people are with you.
  • Traveling isn’t boring for me, unless I’m stuck in an airport terminal for hours and hours.
  • And loneliness?  You’d be amazed how many great conversations and impromptu dinners you can have with people you just met…if you aren’t already with someone at the time.

Fear is a good thing sometimes…it warns us, keeps us alert, can save our lives if we listen.  But letting fear tell you that you can’t do something can be very suffocating.  Take John Steinbeck. He relates in Travels With Charley that after driving all over the United States, he actually got lost when he tried to get back home.  But he found his way.

lSed5VXIQnOw7PMfB9ht_IMG_1642We boomers and beyond like to travel.  We’ve learned to take a larger view of the world.  We like new experiences.  Maybe that just means driving to a state park you’ve never seen.  Or going to an arts festival in a beautiful location.  If you want to be alone on a trip, you can be.  But if you don’t, you’ll find many opportunities to be around others.

Here’s some stats on how boomers are affecting the travel market from immersionactive.com:

  • 36% of leisure travel is done by mature travelers
  • 60% of American boomers have their passports
  • 80% of boomers want to visit a place they’ve never been before
  • Baby boomers account for 4 of 5 dollars spent on luxury travel today
  • On average, older adults will take four trips per year

So hey, if you’ve always wanted to see the Lincoln Memorial, or tour the Baseball Hall of Fame, or dip your toes in the Nile, and you have the means to do it, step through your fear and give it a go.  You never know where the road will lead you—and if you get lost, maybe that’s what it takes to find your way home again.

 We find that after years of struggle, we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”

          John Steinbeck 

Where were you in 62?

04/13/2015 /

Steering Wheel Vintage Ford

The movie American Graffiti asked us that question many years ago, bringing back memories of great cars, greasy hair, and rock and roll. We boomers love to be nostalgic, and who can blame us?

A lot of significant events have taken place during our lives that shaped American culture.

In his book “Boomers Rock Again”, author Sanford Holst looks at the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, focusing mainly on some of the remarkable people who grew up among us—77 of them to be exact. He also showcases some of the events, movies, television shows, music and more from our favorite era.

Here’s a few tidbits from Holst’s book that might surprise you:

  • Pat Benatar’s first job was a bank teller.
  • Richard Branson’s headmaster predicted he would either end up in prison, or become a millionaire.
  • Sandra Bullock was a cheerleader.
  • George Clooney tried out for the Cincinnati Reds.
  • Richard Gere was awarded a gymnastics scholarship for college but turned it down.
  • Samuel L. Jackson was active in Civil Rights protests in the late 1960s.
  • Liam Neeson took up boxing at the age of nine.
  • Denzel Washington played basketball for Fordham University.

shutterstock_119114329It’s fun to look back at the beginning of people’s careers, because we all remember how different we were when we were coming of age.

For sure, growing up in these decades—including the late 1940s and 1950s—was anything but dull.

And it can be easy to romance the past, forgetting about all the struggles, unrest, violence, assassinations and chaos that occurred then as well.

Still, I think it was a fascinating era. What are some of your favorite memories?

 

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

      Robert Brault 

 

 

 

 

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