Category: We baby boomers (Page 14 of 23)

Time to laugh.

02/29/2016 / Laura

We need laughter. Especially this year. So why not take a break and chuckle?

After all, here’s what happens when you laugh:

Laughter can cause the tissue that forms the inner lining of blood vessels to dilate and expand and thus increase blood flow
Laughter boosts immune systems
Laughter increases your pain tolerance
Laughter exercises your facial, abdominal and chest muscles
Laughter improves the function of your brain

Need we say more? Let’s let some funny people do it for us:

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” Henny Youngman

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” Jerry Seinfeld

“If banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?” Alan King

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.” George Carlin

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams

“Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace.” Anonymous

“She said she was approaching 40, and I couldn’t help but wonder from what direction.” Bob Hope

“Housework won’t kill you, but why take the chance?” Phyllis Diller

“If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.” Mel Brooks

“I still feel 30, except when I try to run.” Bob Newhart

Who are your favorite funny people? Please share…we need to keep laughing!

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

Robert Frost

Feeling left behind?

02/22/2016 / Laura

There’s a lot of great things about growing older.

But there’s some tough stuff as well, like losing more people every year. People in your family. A spouse. Friends. Co-workers and past acquaintances.

Whether it’s the finality of death or a phone call that tells you someone has a terminal disease.

That just can’t be.

She’s not old enough.

He was just about to retire.

We went to school together.

She’s younger than I am.

How old does that make me??

It’s natural to feel some fear when you get news like this. It’s also natural to take a hard look at yourself, and then feel guilty because it’s supposed to be about them, not you.

Yet it is about you…and me…and how strange it is to age on the outside and yet still feel 25, 35, 45 on the inside.

I had a 93-year old neighbor once who was legally blind but every bit as alive and involved as she had always been. Her smile was a welcome sight every day. Yet she confessed to me that it was getting harder and harder because she had outlived everyone…her friends, her post loves, her anchors. I didn’t get it totally then, but I’m starting to now.

It feels like we’re all in lifeboats bobbing up and down at sea, holding hands, getting through all the storms and high waves together. Then more and more of our fellow life travelers fall in the water, disappearing, and the chain is not as strong as it used to be. Hey now, hang on a minute.

We’re all supposed to get through this together. We’re supposed to make it to the other side together. Don’t leave me!

It’s even hard when famous people die, if we’ve identified with them our whole lives and they’ve become a part of how we experience each day. A singer who helped us escape the rigors of teenage angst. A sports figure that inspired us to work out harder because he or she never gave up. An author whose words pulled us through a life crisis.

Now they are gone, and we are left to fend as best we can. It can make me feel more exposed and vulnerable at times. And yet, I’m guessing what’s really happening is we are left with the essence of who we are…and sometime’s that a good thing. To “meet” ourselves without any filters or escape hatches.

All the people we have known, loved, liked, respected, or even disliked help shape who we are…and now as boomers and beyond, who we have become. But they are just part of the picture.

Depending upon your belief, you may take solace in that you will remain connected with them for eternity, that this is not a final goodbye. (That’s my belief, and in a few cases, I’m ready to really make sure they understand what they meant to me!) Knowing that can help ease the pain, and underscore how tight some bonds can be.

Here’s some nice words from the late poet A.R. Ammons:

In View of the Fact

The people of my time are passing away: my wife is baking for a funeral, a 60-year-old who

died suddenly, when the phone rings, and it’s Ruth we care so much about in intensive care:

it was once weddings that came so thick and fast, and then, first babies, such a hullabaloo:

now, it’s this that and the other and somebody else gone or on the brink: well, we never

thought we would live forever (although we did) and now it looks like we won’t: some of us

are losing a leg to diabetes, some don’t know what they went downstairs for, some know that

a hired watchful person is around, some like to touch the cane tip into something steady,

so nice: we have already lost so many, brushed the loss of ourselves ourselves: our

address books for so long a slow scramble now are palimpsests, scribbles and scratches: our

index cards for Christmases, birthdays, Halloweens drop clean away into sympathies:

at the same time we are getting used to so many leaving, we are hanging on with a grip

to the ones left: we are not giving up on the congestive heart failure or brain tumors, on

the nice old men left in empty houses or on the widows who decide to travel a lot: we

think the sun may shine someday when we’ll drink wine together and think of what used to

be: until we die we will remember every single thing, recall every word, love every

loss: then we will, as we must, leave it to others to love, love that can grow brighter

and deeper till the very end, gaining strength and getting more precious all the way. . . .

Life is precious. Grab it with all the might you have and celebrate your spirit, your soul, and your passion for living. Do it for yourself, and those who have moved on to a higher being. Rock that wrinkle!!!

“Being happy never goes out of style.”

Lilly Pulitzer

Self Care After 50.

01/25/2016 / Laura

Most of us boomers and beyond are pretty good at taking care of others. We’ve had enough practice. Whether when raising children, watching over nieces and nephews, or taking care of our parents as their health faded. We know how to wipe chins, listen to tearful confessions, and hold a wrinkled hand.

And yet, when it comes to taking care of ourselves, we often fall short.

A friend tells us about a situation that is causing pain, and we offer advice. Someone we love worries over an injustice and we bristle over the fact that anyone would hurt our loved one. Yet we find it hard to be as protective of ourselves.

Oh, it will be okay. We’re fine. Yes, it hurt, but we’ll get over it. Oh, we’re sure they didn’t mean to be so rude.

It’s wonderful to be kind and forgiving to others. But why is it sometimes so hard to be that way towards ourselves?

Maybe we forget we even have the power to really be kind to our inner self. We want others’ approval; we want to fit in; we want to do what “is right.” Yet perhaps what we need most right now at this point in our lives is our own approval.

Our own forgiveness.

I doubt anyone gets to the boomer and beyond status without making a few mistakes. Not achieving a goal we just knew we would accomplish. Missing out on a major career opportunity. Letting that true love get away.

So we think we’ve failed.

But I don’t agree. I think that many times, that “wrong road” we took actually was right where we needed to be.

We learned a lot, grew stronger, and probably discovered things about ourselves and others that we would never have known had we been “successful”.

There’s a lot to be said for persevering through a tough challenge. And regardless of where we have come from, what matters most is where we are right now. Are we living life as we hoped?

Do we greet each day with anticipation?

Is there a moment of happiness each day, or at least contentment?

Can we find a reason to laugh each day?

And most of all, do we treat ourselves gently, with respect, love, and a little slack?

I think each of us has earned, and deserves, that much. Remember the 1986 book “How to Be Your Own Best Friend”? It was all about self-love and acceptance, and it was somewhat ahead of its time. There were critics who thought that being your own best friend was an odd idea. Yet those who embraced it cheered how for the first time, they felt permission to just be who they are.

And it was a reminder of how important it is to feel okay in your own skin. Which after 50+, 60+, 70+, and beyond years, feels pretty good.

Scars and all.

“I celebrate myself, and sing myself.”

Walt Whitman

Put down the rocks.

01/18/2016 / Laura

Life is difficult.

So says M. Scott Peck in “The Road Less Traveled.” Yet, we solider on, because that’s what we do. One foot in front of the other, even on the cloudy, gloomy days when staying in bed or hiding with a bag of Cheetos sounds much more appealing. I certainly have my gray days, when it feels like somewhere, I made a wrong turn.

What about that happy ending…did I miss the exit sign?

Weren’t things supposed to be easier by now?

In the movies; the answer is yes. In real life; not so sure. We look at the outsides of other people and compare them to our insides. And often, we don’t like it.

“They” look happy. Successful. Stress-free. “They” don’t have cellulite. Or past-due notices in their mailbox. Or family members that give them migraines.

While “we” are tired, frustrated, and bored to death with the daily routine. We don’t recognize ourselves in the mirror. We think about that boyfriend or girlfriend we let slip away. We kind of just wish someone would come along and pay our bills and show us where the yellow brick road begins.

Hey, maybe there’s a map somewhere, one that leads to that treasure we all think we’re going to find. But wouldn’t it be ironic if we found the map, and “X” is right where we are right now?

Could it be we’re making things harder than they have to be?

That maybe instead of just dealing with what is going on right now, at this very moment, we’re also still worrying about everything that happened up until now, as well as everything that we think could possibly happen in the future?

Whew, that’s a lot right there.

In the book of meditations known as “God Calling”, edited by A.J. Russell, there is a passage that talks about a hiker, slowly climbing up a mountain, pausing to rest and survey the landscape below. As the hike becomes more and more difficult, the hiker has to stop more often, breathing heavily, his legs burning, his back aching, wondering if he will make it the rest of the way.

Then this question is raised:

What if the hiker put down his backpack and began to take out rocks…one rock for each hike he had ever gone on? What if all along, he’d been hiking up this mountain carrying a pack full of rocks from his entire life? What a load he had put on himself! Now, free of those rocks, he can continue…stronger and lighter, knowing he will make it the rest of the way.

I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to carry a lot of rocks around. From childhood. From failed relationships. Bad jobs. Things I should have said. Things I should not have said (those are some big rocks). I even pick up other people’s rocks and try to carry them as well, though I don’t know why.

It seems so simple, yet it can be so hard…stay in the present. Live right now. Just take it a day, a moment at a time. Some days are cloudy. Some days just are the pits. But it’s not going to last forever—and once it’s done, it’s done.

Here, now. Carry only what you can. Put the rest down.

And if that load really is more than you can bear, I believe you don’t have to do it alone.

I’m going to keep climbing. And I’m going to keep my pack as light as I can. Because I’ve lived enough years to be stronger and wiser than I was many years ago. I know I can make it. And I know the view from the top—or from wherever I am at that moment—will be worth it.