Category: We baby boomers (Page 13 of 23)

Maybe we’re okay as is.

04/04/2016 /

It’s the start of the week, the month, and maybe a brand new season. We can look at it with anticipation and joy, or we can feel overwhelmed and even frightened.

Why can’t we get out of neutral and do the things we keep saying we will do? What if the months pass and we’re still just sitting here? Why does it seem like everyone else is making progress?

But then again, why don’t we boomers and beyond give ourselves a break?

Where is this critical voice coming from—the one that keeps saying we need to improve, to change ourselves, to transform our personalities into a lotus flower?

What if, for a moment, we considered how perfect we really are. What a miracle we are.

Swan_2That maybe what is inside of us is just okay. That instead of hitting ourselves in the head with a block of wood, we should nurture our inner self and celebrate our spirit?

In other words, lighten up.

I like this notion. I like remembering that spirit made me and spirit lives in me. Way before teachers, preachers, or finger-pointers took hold of me, I existed. I shine. I live, breathe, and love. So maybe I’m just okay—without trying to become someone I was never meant to be.

In her book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”, Pema Chodron touches on these thoughts more than once. Her are just a few excerpts of her words:

“Loving kindness doesn’t mean getting rid of anything….we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change our selves. Mediation practice isn’t about throwing ourselves away and becoming something better. It’s about befriending who we are already…if you throw out your neurosis, you also throw out your wisdom. Someone who is very angry also has a lot of energy; that energy is what’s so juicy about him or her…the idea isn’t to try to get rid of your anger, but to make friends with it, to see it clearly with precision and honesty, and also see it with gentleness….”

See it with gentleness. What a nice thought! Turn off the voices that tell you it’s time to develop a new personality. Put down the whip. Think soft instead.

Pema also says:

“Life’s work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into the circle wake you rather than put you to sleep. The only way to do this is to open, be cautious, and develop some sense of sympathy for everything that comes along, to get to know its nature and let it teach you what it will.   It’s going to stick around until you learn your lesson, at any rate. The journey of awakening—the classical journey of the mythical hero or heroine—is one of continually coming up against big challenges and then learning how to soften and open.”

file000143069688We’ve earned a little softness. We’ve endured a lifetime of struggle, pain, happiness, sadness, and just about everything else. So does it really make sense to think we’re doing it all wrong? I don’t think so.

Life is hard. So if we can be gentle, especially with ourselves, that has to be the right path. At least it’s the one I want to take.

“The purpose of life is to increase the warm heart.”

     Dalai Lama

How fast should we go?

03/28/2016 /

The “Low Tire Warning” light came on my car a few days ago. Because I was across town from where I live, I had to keep driving. Nothing felt odd; when I stopped I could not see a problem. So I went on. And later, I ran another errand.

Then I actually sat down and read the owner’s manual, which of course shook its finger at me and said you idiot, you shouldn’t be driving on these tires until they are checked for a nail, slow leak, or the beak of a mynah bird embedded in the treads.

I made the appointment at the tire center, and one morning, I drove my car there. Luckily I only had to go about two miles. But now armed with new caution, I drove more slowly than I normally would.

Translation: I actually went the speed limit.

And the reaction of other drivers was really interesting. Here I am, in the slow lane, going the speed limit. Here they are, puling up behind me so fast they look like they’ve been shot out of a cannon, slamming on their breaks and barely missing me as they pull into the fast lane and hit the gas.

 

Steering Wheel Vintage Ford

 

Now if this was rush hour, or we were on a busy expressway, I would get it. But we are on a quiet residential road, and there wasn’t any traffic. Yet my going the (gasp!) speed limit was clearly an offensive act.

I confess I usually am a bit over the speed limit myself. But I do not tailgate people in the slow lane. I’m not real happy about being behind slow people in the “fast” lane, but I still don’t tailgate. I can’t afford it.

I couldn’t help but wonder where these people were going that fast. What was happening to their blood pressure as they sped past me? What kind of mood did their own aggressive act put them in for the rest of the day?

What is that important?

I’m at a point in my boomer life where I’m looking at the highway stretched before me, and the distance to the end is getting shorter. There aren’t as many exit ramps or scenic overlooks. I worry that I’m missing things.

That I won’t realize when I should go off-road and take a break.

Or see the sights.

Or just get out and stretch.

Because literally, I won’t be passing this way again on the road of life, at least not in this form.

Sometimes those feelings make me go faster. Sometimes they make me slow down. Days go by so fast. Seasons are a blur. In my mind, there’s still all this “time” to do so many things. Yet I’m realizing that’s not really true. If I want to do something, go somewhere, try something new I had better do it now.

It can be very daunting, can’t it? Which path do I take. Which broken relationship do I repair, and which is better left alone. Which new road is worth my time and energy to explore. Like Yoga Berra said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

So which lane do we get in?   And what about the other “warning” lights?

“Caution:  you just passed up a potential new love.”

“Danger:  put down the candy bar and go to the gym.”

“Beware:  your hair may suddenly make a u-turn.”

Maybe, like my car, we just make stops when we need to, refuel, repair, and keep going.  Because like my very inconsistent GPS, we never really know where the road is leading. There could be a detour just ahead.  But one thing we do know:  it sure feels good to keep going.

“Map out your future’—but do it in pencil.”

     Jon Bon Jovi

Walking Through the Fear.

03/14/2016 /

Nobody like to talk about being scared.  Is that because we don’t think we are supposed to be scared anymore, now that we’re all grown up?

When we were little, it was okay to admit something might be hiding underneath the bed.  Or the Ferris wheel was just a bit too high for our liking.  Or that weird-looking insect that just jumped on our leg made us feel uneasy.

But what about now?  Especially since as boomers and beyond, our fears are usually a whole lot more menacing….

Cancer.  Bankruptcy.  Losing a spouse.  Surgery.  No retirement fund.  Nephews, nieces, and grandchildren serving in combat.  

Dying.

JOd4DPGLThifgf38Lpgj_IMGI doubt if anyone enjoys being scared, but I can’t believe we don’t all share that emotion from time to time.  And it’s sneaky.  We think we’re mad because the traffic is slow, or the dog just ate the newspaper, or our boss just asked us to do the impossible.  When really, deep down, we’re afraid.

Afraid we can’t handle it.  Afraid we’ll look bad.  Afraid we’ll fail.

It always reminds me of the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.  First there’s one.  Then another one shows up.  Then all of a sudden they are everywhere, swooping down and carrying me off to the land of despair.  What began as a simple worry can escalate to global termination if I’m not careful.  Why is that?

I don’t want to give fear that much power over me.  I’m amazed how it can make my stomach queasy.  Give me dry mouth.  Make me feel tense and rigid.  It messes with my mind and my composure.  It’s one thing if you are literally staring at your fear—say, a hungry mountain lion.  But it’s another when you know your mind has latched on to some worry and has inflated it to such levels that you can’t think straight.

So you stop.  Take a breath.  Pray to your guardian angel to lend a hand.

Try not to get on the phone and chew out some unsuspecting telemarketer.

Years ago, I was in Yosemite National Park, and was challenged to walk up a very steep rock (shaped like a giant mound, but high enough to make me nervous).  I’m not a fan of heights.  I can tell myself everything’s okay, but I still feel my heart racing and my stomach talking to me.  But I trudged on, because another person volunteered to hold on…and gave me some advice.  He suggested I just stand still and feel all the fear and let it wrap around me, then take another step, and another.  I did so.

I confess it did help, though I won’t say I’m not scared of heights anymore.  Still, sometimes I call upon that advice when other, more threatening fears appear on the horizon.

87Like waiting on lab test results.  Or wondering if I made a wrong turn when mapping out my life.

Maybe some day I won’t be afraid.  But for now, I’m going to cut myself some slack and hope others do the same for themselves.  Emotions are supposed to be felt.  Even fear is telling us something.

It reminds us we are alive.  And no matter what our age, we’re still very young spirits.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

    Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

 

 

Fit After 50.

03/07/2016 /

DSCN0123Let’s talk about balance.

Not the kind that we never can achieve (balance between home, work, family, sanity), but rather the type of balance that might determine whether or not we can stay independent as we age.

Whole body balance. Balance that improves as we become physically stronger. Balance that keeps us walking straight, feeling healthy and hopefully, in our own homes as long as possible.

Why is balance so important for boomers and beyond?  Because by the time most of us hit 50, we’ve lost 15 to 20% of our strength.

Imagine. Just that statistic can explain why you’re having trouble carrying in the dog food. Or walking up the stairs with laundry. Or having to sit down to put on your pants.

Ouch.

But the good news is how quickly a healthy person in his or her 60s can gain muscle…as much as two to three pounds of muscle in six months to a year.

Here’s the catch: you have to actually get up and work out. That does not necessarily mean you have to become Mr. or Ms. Olympia, or walk into a hard-body gym and feel intimidated next to the 20-somethings in their spandex.

Thank heavens more and more places are springing up that cater to those of us 50 and over who want to get in shape and feel better, but don’t want the traditional gym experience.

One such place is Welcyon. There’s only a few so far in the country and already, response has been great.

What makes Welcyon so popular? It’s smaller, calmer, and feels more plush than a regular rec center or gym. The staff is small, knowledgeable, and welcoming. And the equipment is specially geared for a workout that while it feels smoother and easier, is actually more effective at building strength than the traditional heavy-plate method.

And best of all, it’s for 50+. Thank heavens. No flipping monster tires or hurling a sledgehammer or other activities that are too high risk.

Daniel Mason, owner of the Welcyon in Lakewood, Colorado, explains. “Our strength equipment uses air resistance, not clunky weight stacks. The result is a challenging workout that actually works you harder, but doesn’t stress your joints and ligaments like a traditional machine. With air resistance, you are working your body evenly…instead of your stronger side compensating and throwing you off balance.”

Cardio machines at Welcyon are also air-driven, so the motion is smooth and even.

But what really sets the technology of Welcyon apart is this: once you’ve been assessed by one of the center’s professional coaches and your routine is determined, all you have to do on your next visit is insert the card into a reader on the machine and you’re set to go. The equipment…lets says it’s the machine that works your abdomen…”recognizes” you and automatically sets to the correct number of pounds you are working. If there is a seat adjustment, it lists that information so you can do it quickly and easily. Of course you can raise or lower the intensity of your workout at any time…but how cool is that? Instead of walking in and trying to remember what you’ve been doing, or struggling with changing a setting, it’s all done for you.

I personally love that. I confess I’ve discovered Welcyon and am a member. And I love it. Why?

  • It’s comfortable. I like walking into an environment where mature people are focusing on feeling better and getting stronger, as opposed to competing.
  • It’s inviting. Welcyon gyms are smaller. There’s a soothing water feature. Everything is new and clean and purposeful. There’s a sitting area for socializing. The background music is very low, and it’s a surprisingly wonderful blend of boomer, big band, and a bit of classical.
  • It’s smart. Each strength machine greets you by name, sets your resistance, counts reps and adjusts your workouts, making them progressively more challenging as you improve. The ellipticals have a built-in fan (I really love that). You feel like you are making efficient use of your time when you are there.
  • It’s safe. Welcyon coaches know what they are doing and how to guide you, whether you’ve exercised your whole life, are just starting out, or are recovering from an injury. There’s a dedicated area for stretching after working out to help keep you from overdoing. There’s even an interesting balance “clock” on the floor that helps develop your all-important reflexes.
  • It’s motivating. I want to go to Welycon. I’ve worked out my whole life off and on, with personal trainers, in classes, doing just about everything…and I always liked how it made me feel, but I never particularly looked forward to going. This feels different…I like the idea of exercising around others over 50.

But this isn’t really about going to a particular gym. No matter where you live or what type of exercise experience is available, you can get stronger…it’s so important. Many recreation centers offer classes for people over 50. You could start one of your own. If nothing else, gather a few neighbors and start a brisk walking program in the neighborhood. Go by a sporting goods store and check out the free weights or kettle balls. Be careful…and start slow…but don’t just sit there…get up and get moving.

Exercise has been called the “fountain of youth” because nothing else has been proven to be as effective when it comes to enhancing our overall health and longevity. I know for me, I have fewer aches and pains when I’m regularly exercising. I sleep better. I think better. I like the feeling of being steady on my feet and knowing I can pick up something, hold my balance in Tai chi, carry a child up the stairs, etc.

You might start out saying “can I do it?”

Chances are in no time you’ll be saying “how far can I go?”

 

“I don’t care how old I live; I just want to be LIVING while I am alive!”

       Jack LaLanne

 

 

 

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