Category: We baby boomers (Page 12 of 23)

Acting your age?

05/23/2016 / Laura

Do you laugh out loud as much as possible?

Do you ever dance with the broom to your favorite song?

Do you pause to admire a cherry 57 Chevy when it rolls by?

Do you occasionally wander into the children’s book section just to revisit old friends who used to take you on adventures?

Do you ever watch Bugs Bunny alone and roar with laughter?

Do you sometimes reach down to feel soft, green grass, and remember what it was like to lay there for hours as a child?

Do you like to try new things, like hang gliding or zip lining?

Do you choose the most colorful hat in the store just because?

Do you buy peanuts at baseball games?

Do you eat ice cream cones at the beach?

Do you still gasp at great fireworks?

Do you put your toes in wet sand and wait for the tide to wash over them?

Do you sign up for classes just to learn something new?

Do you play golf with your pals and giggle when one of you misses the ball?

Do you ever roll down the windows and turn the music way, way up?

Do you still order fries?

Do you love how a swimming pool feels on a hot summer’s day?

Do you take a nap when you feel like it?

Do you kayak, hike, fish, bike, paddle board, roller blade, or anything else just to get outdoors on a beautiful day?

Do you still enjoy flirting?

Do you smuggle candy into a movie theater?

Do you ever draw, paint, or write just for fun?

Do you try to really enjoy every moment of your life?

What age are we? Whatever we feel at the moment.

(Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.)

Rock that wrinkle!

“We turn not older with years, but newer every day.”

Emily Dickinson

May is traditionally a time of graduation. It’s also a month that is very unsettled in terms of weather, with winter not wanting to loosen its grip while spring and summer await impatiently backstage for their time to take a bow. Throw in Mother’s Day for a healthy dose of emotion and you have a period of time that can make you feel a bit unsteady. Recently, the zigzag of temperatures mixed with the mortar boards flinging in the air made me think back to when I stood on that overlook…wondering where I was going next, what would I become, and had I chosen the right road.

Back then, it felt like I had forever ahead of me, and I was sure that no matter what path I chose, I would end up in the “right place.” Since then, I’ve realized it’s not so easy to know which fork in the road is the right one. More than once along the way it’s felt like I went the “wrong” way and would surely tumble into an abyss. I’m a baby boomer after all.

I thought I’d be young a lot longer.

Lately it’s also felt like maybe part of me split off a long time ago…the part that had all those dreams and ideals and aspirations. While my practical self waded through jobs, tax payments, mortgages, failed relationships, arthritis, and a few extra pounds, my “real” self was out there, waiting, for me to come to my senses so my “real life” could start.

Crazy. And exhausting. Maybe it’s time for the two to come together.

Maybe it’s time to realize they’ve both been in me all along. I think that’s one of the great joys of growing older: coming to peace with who we are. Who we really are.

I ran across a wonderful poem by Derek Walcott that says it so nicely:

Love After Love —by Derek Walcott

The time will come

when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

What a nice image. To greet all you are and have always been with love and acceptance.

To celebrate all of it, good and bad, beautiful and not-so-attractive, smart and foolish.

To welcome.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Rumi

Clothes for 50+: Where are they?

05/02/2016 / Laura

Okay, clothing retailers, listen up.

I don’t care if you create clothing for the office, the beach, the gym, the couch, or any other use…for women or men…you have some explaining to do.

Why is it that an average-sized woman, let’s say a 10 or 12, goes to the store to try and find something and discovers that suddenly, even the extra large does not fit her?

Or a man who is a bit taller than average and maybe has a normal physique plus a few extra pounds finds himself having to check out the big or “hefty” section?

Where are the clothes that fit us…those of us who are not size 2? Are there really millions of people so pencil-thin they can wear skin-tight clothing and smile?

Odd. I sure don’t see them at the movies.

Or in the grocery store.

Or walking their dogs.

Or in a business meeting.

What I do see is a whole generation of people over 50 who are healthy, active, and yes, probably have a mid-section a bit larger than when they were 25. Guess what. It happens.

And it’s perfectly okay.

We still need to wear clothes. We’d still like to look nice…attractive…even sexy at times. And we’d like to do it all and still be able to exhale.

So where are we supposed to go for an outfit?

I find it most annoying when I’m trying to find so-called “active wear” that actually lets me be active without passing out from strangulation. You know, loose pants for yoga. Soft, breathable materials for T-shirts that have actual sleeves. Exercise shorts that don’t cut off circulation.

I mean, like many boomers and beyond, I’m trying to tone myself and be stronger…so why are there no clothes that understand this?

Excuse us for living. We’re over 50. We’re a major force when it comes to retail sales.

And we’re getting tired of being ignored.

I have no desire to try and look 25. I don’t have the energy. I celebrate my wrinkles, gray, and extra rolls that come with normal aging. But I also am not ready to cut holes in a gunny sack and head out the door. And sorry, but I know I’m not an extra extra large. And even if I were, I would expect you, Mr. Clothier, to want to help me look as good as I can. And quite frankly, I think you’re failing. Because most of the clothes I see that I guess are aimed at me are either unwearable, or flat-out ugly.

And this whole skinny jeans craze is not a healthy message to women or men….to look so thin that you disappear. To be ashamed you can’t get in a size zero. (Now if you are very thin naturally, or you are struggling with an eating disorder, God bless you. You also deserve to look as good as possible. But that’s not the point here.)

I call upon all the brands….Nike, REI, Liz Claiborne, Charter Club, Everlast, Prana, and others, as well as men’s fashions…don’t ignore us. Don’t ask us to be something we’re not. Go out on a limb and come up with some “active boomer” clothes….and I don’t mean what June and Ward Cleaver wore. I’m talking comfort. Style. And realistic sizes.

Help us want to be seen. So we can exercise. Travel. Laugh. Live. And yes, spend money on your products.

We’re rocking the wrinkle. You can too. And you’ll be glad you did.

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”

P.J. O’Rourke

Tired…or exhausted?

04/18/2016 / Laura

It’s so easy sometimes to just give in to being tired.

Whatever it is you, Mr. or Ms. Baby Boomer, are facing that requires a burst of energy…you’ve done it so many times before. You’ve walked that path. Fought that battle. Thought it through a hundred times.

And you’re just weary.

It can even be a good thing. Like a 4-mile walk that will make you feel great. Or a new book club meeting that might introduce you to some new friends. Or finally tackling the garage and actually discovering what’s hiding behind the golf clubs.

It would be so much easier to just sit on the couch with the remote!

How did we get here so quickly? It wasn’t that long ago we were enjoying jam-packed weekends and evenings of fun without a thought to what time the Boston Legal reruns come on.

Younger friends give us a quizzical look when we say things like, “It starts kind of late, doesn’t it?” Or “You know, I can do one or the other, but probably not both.”

Or my favorite, “You’re younger than me, you’ll understand one day.”

And they will.

But still…sometimes I’m not sure how I feel about this. I do think it’s okay to pace ourselves now that we are boomers and beyond. We have spent a great deal of energy just dealing with life, and it’s okay to cut back. I’m seeing friends who perhaps have pushed themselves too hard for too long and their health is sending them a serious message:

Take it easy. Take a breath. There’s no race. There’s no hurry.

The real challenge is probably to know where the line is, between stopping to smell the roses (haven’t we earned that?) and becoming permanently affixed to the furniture.

Some days are better than others. Some seasons are more motivating than others. Being selective with our energy and our attention is a smart thing…something we older types know all about. And there’s physical reasons at play as well.

Maybe we’re not sleeping well. Taking medications that make us drowsy. Dealing with chronic pain or mobility issues. Even being bored can make you feel tired.

The National Institute on Aging offers these suggestions if you feel fatigue is getting the best of you:

Respect your body clock. If you are better in the a.m., then don’t tackle a mentally draining task in the late afternoon.

Eat fish. Not only is this good for your heart, but omega-3 oils can boost alertness.

Get your rest. Either go to bed earlier, or take a quick nap in the afternoon.

Drink lots of water. Dehydration is bad for lots of ways, but also can decrease your ability to concentrate.

Exercise regularly. You might see improvements in appetite, energy, and outlook.

Don’t smoke. It’s a drain on your energy.

All that said, you might just need a period of downtime…especially following a stressful career, death of a loved one, extended traveling, or any other challenge that required all you had to give.