Category: Uncategorized (Page 19 of 39)

Love over hate.

04/02/2018 /

Now is the season of new beginnings.  New green shoots pushing up through the mud and remnants of a long winter that for some, still rages on.  New hours of sunshine that add a touch of promise to each afternoon (who doesn’t hate driving home from work or anywhere in the dark at 5:30.)  New clothes perhaps, with brighter colors and fun patterns.

And depending upon your spiritual beliefs, new beginnings in other ways.

A fresh start.  A new day.

And how wonderful that this new beginning comes every year.  It can be about so many things….maybe it’s not having that tempting late afternoon snack that’s not helping your cholesterol.  Or putting in 5 extra minutes on the treadmill.  Or deciding to make a real effort to keep the inside of your car clean (good luck).

In other words, we all might want to start small.  Tiny strides, tiny victories that can add up.

And maybe most of all, it can be how we see the world, our neighborhood, our enemies, and ourselves.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest in New Mexico and founder of the Center of Action and Contemplation, has written what I think are some wonderful books worth checking out.  In Immortal Diamond, he talks about seeking our true self—our soul—and letting the false self die.  The false self being what we rely on in the beginning of our lives to get us through the formation of personality, career, relationships, etc…sort of like the games we have to play to get where we are.  But now that we are “here”, we can fall back to what we truly are.

Our essence.  Our link to the divine which has always been there.

There are many powerful passages in this book, but I especially like his advice for changing how we deal with negativism….our irritations with life.  How many times I’ve been cut off in traffic and uttered language I’m not proud of, or had angry thoughts about the person next to me in the express line holding 56 items instead of 5, or any other of the countless daily situations that try my patience and usually win over my feeble attempt to be a better person.  Richard Rohr has a suggestion for how to handle these moments….(from “Immortal Diamond”)….

“Next time a resentment, negativity or irritation comes into your mind…and you want to play it out or attach to it, move that thought or person literally into your heart space because such commentaries are almost entirely lodged in your head.  There, surround it with silence (which is much easier to do in the heart).  There, it is surrounded with blood, which will often feel warm like coals.  in this place, it is almost impossible to comment, judge, create story lines, or remain antagonistic.  You are in a place that does not create or feed on contraries but is the natural organ of life, embodiment, and love.  Love lives and thrives in the heart space…it can  make the difference between being happy and being miserable and negative.”

And who couldn’t use that?  A relief valve that stops the wheel of anger right in its place, that takes the negative and wraps it in love, shuts our mouth and mind, and just sits.  I sure can.

Richard Rohr calls it our “sacred heart”…where we hold things that need love and not judgment.  I think the trick is to do it immediately, when the negative voice in your head starts.  Turn off that valve and see the person or irritation moving to your heart.

It’s just a suggestion.  But it might just be a wonderful way to mark what for many, is the season of hope…when seeds start to grow.  And most happily, when those surprise crocus or tulips spring up and you don’t know how…you can’t remember planting them…but you are so glad they are there.

Maybe we can plant a few of our own right now.

 

 

Ready to Spring?

03/20/2018 /

It’s spring.  Finally.  Never thought it would get here, did you?  And it’s early this year.  Which could explain why it’s still (depending upon where you live), still cold. Rainy. Snowy. Dreary.  Disappointing.

But wait.  Even if all the above is true, chances are there are signs of spring everywhere. You just have to look harder to find them.  Like purple crocus raising their heads.  Or bountiful cherry trees quietly sharing their beauty.  Or daffodils bending in the breeze.  And of course, lots of allergens to fill your sinus cavities with seasonal splendor.

So if it’s spring, why does it sometimes feel like nothing’s changed…like the same old, same old is still here.  You aren’t feeling younger. Or more attractive.  Or like you could skip down the sidewalk with a new piece of chalk for hopskotch.

So what does Spring mean, anyway….when you get older?

We over 50 tend to hunker down during winter.  It’s chilly and humid and makes our bones talk to us.  We are wary of icy sidewalks and quite frankly, driving at night in a snowstorm isn’t our idea of a good time.  Not that it ever was, but it used to seem easier.  Or were we just more willing to take a chance?

Spring used to mean a break from school.  Maybe pulling out the fun clothes and sandals and getting some sun.  Planting seeds in the garden.  Starting a new exercise regimen or giving up fast food (at least for a few weeks) so we might fit in the summer swimsuit.

Things change.  I’ll admit to just being grateful to see the seasons change.  To realize that spring represents new life,  a shaking-off of winter doldrums and the promise of longer days and maybe lower utility bills.

Of course if you live where it snows through May, you’re still dreaming of that…and you’re tired of hearing how it’s 75 in Miami.

Here’s what a few famous folks had to say about spring:

“In the spring, I have counted 136 kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.”

         Mark Twain

“I am going to try to pay attention to the spring.  I am going to look around at all the flowers and look up at the hectic trees.  I am going to close my eyes and listen.”

      Anne Lamott

“Spring has returned.  The Earth is like a child that knows poems.”

     Rainer Maria Rilke

“Spring is nature’s way of saying:  ‘Let’s party!'”

     Robin Williams

Spring can be a challenge in many ways, filled with mud and rain and cobwebs and long lists of what needs to be done. But it can also be a beautiful time to renew the soul.

Get some sunshine.

Breathe some fresh air.

Consider new possibilities.

Wait for a butterfly to float by.

Every season that passes becomes more precious…a treasure we hold in our hearts.  Let’s enjoy this one.

“Spring is when you feel like singing even with a shoe full of slush.”

Doug Larson

Retiring or rethinking?

02/26/2018 /

Now that you’re getting closer to retirement, or you’ve long since retired, you’ve probably faced the decision about whether you want to work longer, work part-time, try something new, or run as far as you can from anything resembling employment.  Some are more fortunate than others in this regard, and some just aren’t sure.

It’s frustrating to work hard all your life and have in the back of your mind that soon you’ll be taking it easy…at least not punching a clock every day…and then economics change that scenario.  Life is just expensive, no matter whether you stay in your same home, or you dream of moving to a new home by the  ocean or in mountains.  You may have been a saver, but you probably still wish you’d started earlier and saved more.  Or, you could  be like so many people, and only just now have the ability to save anything at all.

It’s the dilemma of the day and it’s only going to get worse. Baby boomers are living longer than previous generations and retiring later. About three in every four Americans plan to work past retirement age and almost two-thirds said they will continue to work part-time. About 10,000  turn 65 each day, yet fewer than half said they expect to retire by 65.

People are working later in life for a number of reasons. They are healthier and have a longer life expectancy than previous generations. They are better educated, which increases their likelihood of staying in the labor force. And changes to Social Security benefits and employee retirement plans, along with the need to save more for retirement, create incentives to keep working.

And whether you want to keep working, or have to, you might be thinking about a change. Maybe even working for yourself.  Data from Bureau of Labor Statistics shows hat workers in older age groups have higher rates of self-employment than do workers in younger groups. Knowledge and resources gained through years of experience may put older workers in a good position to work for themselves. (Just remember this comes with its challenges as well…do your homework!)

Or maybe you’ve spent your career in an office and would love to get into the outdoors. Or perhaps you’re retiring a  teacher and prefer giving tours of a local museum.

Then there are the challenges that come with being over 60 and wanting to be taken seriously by younger co-workers.  Society is prone to dismiss us. Younger workers often don’t even “see”  us, much less take our ideas and expertise seriously.  It often leads to baby boomers doubting themselves, wondering if they are really out of touch and have anything valuable to contribute.

Yet the good news is science is on our side.

Research shows successful older people manage to use their brains differently, and by doing so are doing just as well as younger people. One interpretation is that we boomers and beyond have a larger set of knowledge and thus we can rely on our experience when processing new information.  We use our experience as “filters,” dismissing some new information, but working more efficiently with the information we have and ultimately doing just as well as younger people with more powerful brains.

So, while the young person in the next desk can  run faster, you know the shortcuts…so you might reach the finish line just as fast.

Bottom line?  We aren’t doing things wrong, we are doing them differently. And even better…we score better in social conscientiousness, agreeableness, and emotional stability than do younger people.  This is probably not news to you. Take the cell phone away from some young people and they lose the ability to communicate.  BUT…you better be up on the technology you  need to stay in the game.

So don’t let the headlines scare you…remember you  are a reserve of knowledge, experience and sound common sense earned over a lifetime.

You have value.

Now get out there and rock it!

 

“It’s never too late to do something extraordinary.”

            Anonymous

Vegetables our way.

02/05/2018 /

Okay.  Call me stubborn.  Old-fashioned.  Caught in a rut. But excuse me.

Aren’t certain rights guaranteed to us as human beings?  Aren’t we free to decide how much is enough and what is worth keeping?

When did the way we choose to cook vegetables become something we have no say over?

It’s bad enough we become used to something and suddenly it’s gone, with no warning.  Or we expect to find a certain size or flavor of something on the shelf and the next time we enter the store, it’s not there.  Or it’s new and “improved”, or the size is different which just means there are now 4 potato chips in the economy size instead of the prior 24.

But the price is the same.

(And you can’t get the package open without a flame thrower and wrench.)

Now, there’s more. Now, you can’t go to the store and buy a package of frozen vegetables and choose for yourself if you want to boil, steam, or microwave them…and you can’t cook just a part of the package.  Because some bored food technician decided that we must be sold a one-size package that must be microwaved all at once.

Excuse me?  

Seriously.  What’s up with this?  A relative told me he thinks It’s because the millenials  don’t know how to cook—or don’t want to.  I hate to believe that.  I know some very capable young cooks.  And I know for many cooks, the idea of buying frozen vegetables instead of fresh is a crime.  Yet research has suggested the nutritional value is about the same (depending upon how it’s prepared.)

But that’s not the point.  The point is … are you freaking kidding me?  Is this 1984 x 2000 and I will be told what I must do—and cannot do—in my kitchen?

It’s a small thing I suppose. Yet it just feels more and more like there’s one big conglomerate out there and they are in control of what we eat, what we watch, and how we think.  We’ve all accepted we buy hot dogs and buns in different quantities. We ignore the “best sold by” dates and consume things in the back of our refrigerators that appear to be edible.  We mutter incoherently as the grocery bagger puts the eggs below the watermelon and hands us the bag.  We bravely decide we’re going to eat eggs/bacon/lard regardless of what the latest government survey says will happen to us if we do.

But I can’t find a regular package of frozen spinach???

If my mother were alive, she would be at the manager’s counter with that look on her face.  And he’d be regretting he didn’t take the day off.  She always insisted on double-bagging.  And she often located the butcher, who might be hiding in the back, so she could get the cut of meat she was looking for.  After all, she was buying food for her family, and it mattered.

Maybe no one cooks anymore…except me and most of my friends.  Maybe we’re the exception.  But I know this:  we probably eat healthier meals than those who don’t.  And I’ll bet we enjoy them more.  And by golly, we should have the freedom to make them any way we choose.

And if this really is a “generational” thing, then consider this:  baby boomers spend the most across all product categories. That includes groceries.  Maybe it’s time we caused a ruckus.

Clean-up on aisle 7? 

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

 

“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.”

Julia Child

 

 

 

 

 

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