Category: Uncategorized (Page 16 of 39)

Sizing up aging: finding clothes that fit.

08/21/2018 /

Some people hate going to the dentist.  Others do anything to avoid cleaning out the garage.  Or doing their taxes.  Or  raking leaves.

Me…shopping for clothes.  Oh it used to be fun, years ago. Maybe I’m crazy  but it sure seemed clothes were more attractive back then.  Putting them on wasn’t difficult.  (Weren’t the buttons bigger?  They sure seemed bigger.)  Looking in the mirror wasn’t akin to watching a vampire movie.

Not anymore.  Is it me, or does there seem to be a conspiracy of ugly clothes, impossible sizes and dressing room mirrors that double as carnival sideshows?

Just because we’re boomers, we shouldn’t have to be tortured when we go shopping.

Things change.  We’ve changed.  And clothes have changed…and it seems, not for the better.

  • A new study published in the International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology, and Education reveals, “The average size of an American woman is now between 16 to 18, which is an increase from 10-year-old data that indicated most women in the U.S. were a size 14.”  Scientists have now determined that the average waist circumference has increased 2.6 inches in the past 21 years, which is why there has been an increase in clothing size.
  • According to a study by J. Walter Thompson London, 69% of women between 53 and 72 feel that they’re ignored by the fashion industry.  Some 82% of the women surveyed believe that the clothes aimed at their age group are too old-fashioned.
  • And it’s not only women.  The average weight of American men has increased by about 15 pounds over the last two decades, according to a new study published today by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Especially depressing is to embark on a new fitness program, sign up for classes, be ready to sweat and work hard, and then try to find workout clothes you can breathe in.  Surprise!  They are made for 75-pound people who run along the shore all day posing for soft drink commercials.  They are not made for anyone who wants to lose 10 pounds.

Why are we letting this happen?  We should rebel.

All of us. 

Give us clothes that ft. Give us clothes that we feel good in.  Give us clothes we can actually leave the house in.  

After all, it was OUR generation that transformed fashion, took risks, brought high styles to women in affordable, wearable clothing. So why have we been abandoned?  Why does it feel like a scene from a James Bond film when we shop?  (“We’ve caught you, double agent 543, and now for the torture…you have to try on these clothes, in front of a 3-way mirror, and actually walk out into the store!  And if you don’t give us the secret war codes, you’ll have to try on….a swimsuit!!”)

According to Forbes:

“Boomers are finding themselves trapped between two worlds–desperate not to become their parents and reluctant to dress like their children. Their challenge is to find clothing that is age-appropriate and fashionable….Unfortunately, according to a Mintel survey of Baby Boomers, more than half of respondents said there are few retailers that carry appealing merchandise, and one-third said stores catering to their demographic have unstylish clothing….

Yet it’s us baby boomers who have the most money to spend. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the current 83.4 million Boomers have a collective spending power of more than $2 trillion and hold 50% of all discretionary income.

Add to the dilemma the barrage of messages you get online about all the things you should not wear if you’re over 50.  Not that too many of us are running out the door in a micro-mini skirt or speedo swim trunks, but come on.  After a while, it starts to feel like we should stay inside with the shades drawn, or just put a hole in a potato bag and tie a rope around our waists.

(Yes, children, potatoes used to come in bags. See how worldly we boomers are?)

RockTheWrinkle has made this appeal before to retailers: pay attention to us!  Macy’s, Dillards, Chico’s, J Jill, whoever and whatever…get smart!  If you stock it, they will come!  Of course there’s always the great catalogs who seem to get it more than others, like Land’s End, LL Bean and others.  Clothes that fit, sleeves long enough to cover a few brushes with too much cheese dip, and forgiving lines.  And they actually look good.

But so many times a trip to the dressing room is just too depressing.  And it shouldn’t be.  We are NOT (most of us) a size 4.  And we don’t want to be.  We are beautiful, or handsome, just as we are and we should be able to dress that way.

And don’t even get me started on shoes .  (But thank the universe for Aravon, Taos, Merrell, Cobb Hill, Rockport, Rieker and Jambo, to name a few.  You make stylish shoes for women that take orthotics.  Thank you.)

So what do you think?  Do we stop shopping?  Do we write designers and clothing manufacturers and tell them what we think?  Do we call up online catalogs and offer our opinions?  If you have an idea, I’d love to hear it.  How are you handling this frustration?

“Style is something each of us already has, all we need to do is find it.” —Diane von Furstenberg

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” —Yves Saint Laurent

“When in doubt, wear red.” —Bill Blass

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling all warriors.

08/06/2018 /

Have you been called upon to be a warrior?

Are you answering an inner urge to start over? To try a new scary path that no one else supports or understands?

To branch out on your own and seek new successes even in the face of huge odds?

OTRAS (3)If you’re a boomer and beyond, and you bravely decide to truly change your path, you’re going to encounter a lot of strange looks, shaking heads, and arguments about why it will never work. Yet if you truly know that your new path is where you have always wanted to walk, you must do it.

American Buddhist nun and teacher Pema Chodron touches on this in her book, “The Wisdom of No Escape.” She writes:

 

“When you really start to take the warrior’s journey—when you start to want to live your life fully, and you feel this passion for life and for growth, when discovery and exploration and curiosity become your path—then basically, if you follow your heart, you’re going to find that it’s often extremely inconvenient.

“Wholeheartedness is a precious gift but no one can give it to you. You have to find the path that has heart and then walk it impeccably. In doing that, you again and again encounter your own uptightness, your own headaches, your own falling flat on your face. But in wholeheartedly following that path, this inconvenience is not an obstacle. It’s simply a certain texture of life.

file8961250911676“Not only that, sometimes when you just get flying, and it all feels so good and you think, ‘This is it, this is the path that has heart,’ you suddenly fall flat on your face. Everybody’s looking at you. You say to yourself, ‘What happened to that path that had heart? This feels like the path full of mud in my face.’ Since you are wholeheartedly committed to the warrior’s journey, it pricks you, it pokes you. It’s like someone laughing in your ear, challenging you to figure out what to do when you don’t know what to do. It humbles you. It opens your heart.”

 Now is the time.  Listen to your spirit.  The universe has quite a sense of humor—laugh with it.

Falling down a few times isn’t the worst thing that can happen to us.

Not trying is.

“Courage, above all things, is the first quality of a warrior.”

       Carl von Clausewitz

 

 

Is the party over?

07/23/2018 /

It’s hot.  It’s late July.  Are these the “Dog Days”?  I used to see that on my father’s calendar in his office and wonder what that meant…were dogs suddenly going to appear somewhere?

Now I understand.  You just feel like walking around with your tongue hanging out.

It’s been a weird summer  Weird weather.  Weird interactions in the workday.  Weird injuries.  It’s frustrating because I always feel like every day is so precious and I shouldn’t waste it….I should get out there and be doing things.  But sometimes I think Nature finds a way to slow us down, make us stop, and be still.  Really still.  Or, as a member of the clergy reminded me the other day, “put our toes in the sand.”

Sounds pretty good to me.

Already, we’re in a rush.  We let Sunday advertising tell us it’s time for back to school.  Put away the toys, balls, and bats kids, because it’s time to start worrying about school.  Hurry up and take that vacation everybody, because it’s about to all be over.  What are you waiting for?  Make your reservations or forget it.

Was it this way when we were children?  I can’t remember already getting depressed at the end of July.

IMG_0130I remember thinking in late July I had one more month of freedom.  So I savored every second of it.  Popsicles at night, hide-and-go-seek on the street corner, cool dirt and soft grass to run in.  Surely now that we are so much older, we can give ourselves the permission to extend the summer as long as we can.

Because really, it should be a state of mind.  A place where we can go when life just gets too hectic.  And it is too hectic.

We’ve made our lives insanely busy.  But sometimes I think through all the appointments, commitments, and requirements, we’ve forgotten to live.  To even notice where we are or who we are with.  At the end of the day, can you answer these questions?

  • Was it sunny today or cloudy?
  • Did you smile at a stranger today?  Help anyone?
  • How many times did you laugh?
  • What have you learned today?
  • Did you remember to have some moments of gratitude?
  • Was there even a minute when you stopped, looked around, took a deep breath and really noticed your surroundings?
  • Isn’t that what living is supposed to be about?

Don’t let advertising tell you when it’s time to relax or play. Or when it’s time to stop.  If you’re a boomer and beyond, you know better.

You know life is what you make it…and maybe right now, you’re ready to make it fun.

 

“Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all.”

      Helen Keller

 

Gouda good enough?

07/16/2018 /

The meaning of life.   Cheese and crackers.

Which would you choose?

This is the message behind a wonderful New Yorker cartoon, where a wise looking man in a cloak with a staff comes to crossroads and sees these signposts…one pointing in one direction to the meaning of life, the other pointing to another direction to cheese and crackers.  Powerful stuff there!

On the one hand, wow, actually having a grasp on what life is all about…the purpose of everything that has brought you this far…the meaning behind the pain and joy and monotony of each day’s events…and yet, there’s that whole ‘what do I need right now’ thing.  Like maybe a little protein. Some nice artisan cheese, crackers from Trader Joes.  A little Sauvignon blanc.  Put my feet up.

Ahhhh.

How easily we could choose the cheese.

Life’s hard enough, right?  Actually understanding the meaning of life, now that could take some time. Might make our heads hurt.  Because surely it’s complicated and difficult…and we left our notes at home.

Or is it.  Is it actually so simple we would be stunned.  Unable to even take it in, believe it, process it.

What if it was just, be kind to others?

Be gentle with the earth?

Love one another?

Wait…is that easy, or hard?  Guess it depends on how you look at it.  Who you are.  And what kindness means to you.

And once we knew what the meaning of life really is, we’d have to actually follow it, right?  We couldn’t just go back to how we’ve been doing things.  Like cursing other drivers.  Or pretending we don’t see the elderly person walking painfully slow alone in a parking lot.  Or not helping someone who speaks another language figure out how to get a transit ticket.

Cause we’d know better.  And then what?

We eat cheese for a lot of reasons.  It tastes good.  It goes great with certain beverages.  It’s fun.  And it’s protein…a little shot of strength that can keep us going.  Why else would we put it in strings that can be consumed on the go?

And for full disclosure, it’s at this point I have to confess my favorite name for a band of all time is The String Cheese Incident.  You can check out their music here.  They hail from Colorado, so you know they’re good.  Best name ever.

But I digress.

Maybe the real lesson to this cartoon is that we sometimes just have to stop and laugh.  Look for humor in what is often a very unfunny world.  Try to find that bit of silliness that really I think exists in just about everything anyway. Because life itself can be exhausting sometimes. And sometimes, you just have to take a break.

Perhaps the best solution is to carry a little sustenance with us as we make the journey, so can keep moving forward toward self-actualization without having to turn back when we get too tired.  Or hungry.  Or scared.  Or bored.  So our backpack should have some protein in it.  Something delicious we enjoy.  Comfortable socks in case our feet get wet.  A whistle in case we need someone’s attention.  A compass in case we get lost.

And lots of belief in ourselves. Enough to take us all the way there.  So when we arrive, we aren’t empty.

Have the cheese.  Eat the crackers.  Add a little dessert.

Your path matters.  But don’t forget the small moments of joy along the way. They are what will get you home.

“Here is the world.  Beautiful and terrible things will happen.  Don’t be afraid.”

      Frederick  Buechner

 

 

 

 

 

 

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