Category: Uncategorized (Page 15 of 39)

Grateful is good.

11/20/2018 /

Gratitude is a complicated topic.  You hear a lot about it.  You know it’s a good idea.  And on those sunny, halycon days, it’s easy to practice.

But then life happens.

A friend becomes terminally ill.  The boss walks in and says the company is downsizing.  The warning light on the car keeps coming on and no amount of black tape will make it go away.  Or, maybe you just start wondering what happened to the last 30 years?

It’s part of getting older.  Looking back, and giving up on the idea you had the perfect childhood.  Looking around, and not seeing that cute, supportive spouse bringing you your slippers and 2.5 smiling children calling every weekend to see how you are.  Looking forward, and wondering if there are any more real adventures ahead besides daring to walk to the refrigerator without your custom-made orthotics.

When I was a kid, singer Peggy Lee had a hit song I absolutely detested called “Is that all there is?”….I hated it.  I still don’t enjoy hearing it, but I understand better what she was trying to say.  When we keep waiting for our lives to “start”, we miss out on the fact they already have.  Every day really is an opportunity to help another person, to learn something new, to try and find a moment of solace in the madness.  And gratitude really does make that easier.

Now here comes the holiday that’s as loaded as an overstuffed suitcase.  Thanksgiving.  Raise your hand if yours has ever resembled the Norman Rockwell painting.  Congratulations, you may go.  For the rest of us, it’s probably been something else.  Watch the Hallmark movies.  Then remember when Uncle Fred announced he was leaving Aunt Jean over the stuffing.  Watch the football games.  Then try to forget when the dog pulled the turkey off the table and little Brad fell on the driveway and at least three arguments broke out at the same time.  Watch the tear-jerking commercials of reunions and marriage proposals and then remember you’ll probably be seated at dinner next to the one family member who secretly resents you and is just one glass of wine away from telling you.

Like Chris Rock said in a standup routine, “It ain’t Christmas unless somebody’s crying.”   But we’re getting ahead of ourselves, let’s stay in Thanksgiving for a bit.

So what is Thanksgiving?  Or, what can be to each of us?   Amazon wants us to spend it shopping online.  Facebook wants us to watch cat videos.  And all those Norman Rockwell types want us to help re-create that photograph that never actually happened.

As a baby boomer, you’ve seen it all.  You might be thinking a turkey sandwich and Cary Grant movie might be all you need.  If that’s your choice, go for it.  But maybe there’s another way to look at it.  Go inside.  Really inside.  What are you truly thankful for?

Your best friend after all these years?

Your sense of humor?

Your patience with your grandchildren?

Your health after that bad scare last year?

The way the sun lights up the leaves in a brilliant show of color?

Take those thoughts and let gratitude wash over you.

And if you find yourself in a clamorous, angry,  exhausting setting, let yourself go inside again.  Be grateful you can do that.  If you are pressed at the table to list what you are grateful for, here’s  list to get you started:

Boomers’ Gratitude List:

Elastic

Naps

Wisdom

Discounts

Old movies

Giggling grandchildren

Faithful dogs

Cuddly cats

Sweet spouses

Newfound freedom

Elastic (worth mentioning twice)

Pie

Cool evenings

Health, in whatever form it is

Life

We’ve made it this far…and we are grateful!  Happy Thanksgiving and keep rockin’ it!

 

“I am grateful for what I am and what I have.  My thanksgiving is perpetual.”

Henry David Thoreau

 

Losing a diamond in the rough.

10/23/2018 /

I lost a good friend recently.  He was a true good, gentle spirit.  A gentleman to a fault.  In a profession of egos and insanity, he maintained an even, quiet demeanor that was consistent, no matter what kind of day he was having.

He did not enter a room and strategize how he could assume control.  He did not carry an impressive day planner or leather portfolio.  I never, in working with him for 30+ years, saw him wear a suit.  He simply carried himself with a confident dignity that spoke much louder than wearing a watch that can control the refrigerator.  His mode of transportation was anything but the coolest model off the showroom floor.  In fact, his beat-up car/truck/suv/crossover would have come in handy on Let’s Make a Deal, because everything he needed was inside.

I don’t remember ever having a disagreement with him.  True, his alma mater was not my favorite, but I could forgive, as he had played football for his school and was very proud of his accomplishments.  No matter how tough the assignments we faced as colleagues, or how hot the day, he’d always say, “This ain’t nothing.  Try two-a-days” in a reference to two practice workouts in one day in sweltering temps prior to the football season.

His point:  I’ve seen worse.  We’ll get through this.

And we always did, even when the demands of our clients were unorganized, unfair, and often ridiculous.  He would do what it required, whether it was a weekend, nighttime or holiday.  He was driven by a commitment to show up, do a good job, and be a grownup.

I can’t say how much I miss him.

As a friend, it hurts because he always made me laugh.  He loved music, he loved sports, and he loved his family.  He was a pleasure to be around.  As a colleague, I know I may never find anyone quite like him again.  Granted, I still work on projects with talented, mature, reasonable people.  But this particular person was from an era that we won’t see again, at least not for a long while.

Maybe one day again, people will truly respect each other for their experience and their talent, and not dismiss them if they don’t  know the latest share-file software.

Maybe one day again, every person involved in a project will take a personal interest in seeing that it is done correctly, on time, and in budget.

Maybe one day again, appearances, hairstyles and clothing won’t matter as much as wisdom, accuracy and reliability.

I hope so.  Because I can assure those under 40 that when you work in this manner, you feel better, smile more and sleep much more soundly.

He’s in a better place, at least I believe so.  He’s strumming his guitar and relaxing knowing he made a difference here.  I hope I can do the same.  We all must.

 

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

Anne Frank

 

Stand up.  Dismiss.  Be Patient.

10/09/2018 /

The world seems to have gone mad.  Anger is everywhere.  Reason has taken a vacation.  Neighbors scowl at one another, family members glare over the dinner table, friends disappear as events of the day spiral even further out of control.  What can we do?  We boomers who have lived lives of hard work, worry, duty and responsibility?  How can we keep peace around us, and somehow, peace within our hearts when we see so many things we fought for falling by the side of the road?

There’s so much that can be said.  Yet it feels like too much has been said already.  Maybe it’s time to be still enough to hear the peace that can be found if we search hard enough.  And if peace really does begin with each of us, take a new look at Walt Whitman and his words.  Soothing.  Encouraging.  And forceful.

Hear what he has to say:

“This is what you shall do:

Love the earth and the sun and the animals

despise riches, give alms to every one that asks

stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others

hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people

take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men

go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families

read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life,

re-examine all that you have been told at school or church or in any book

dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes

and in every motion and joint of your body.”

 

Dismiss what insults you. Hold fast to your heart.  Reach out to those with less.

Walt had the idea.

Like Lieutenant Dan in Forest Gump, we can hold tight to the mast…the winds can only blow so long. Meanness, evil and lack of justice will, like any noxious weed, eventually wither and disappear.

And in their place, new life can grow.

 

“The world will not be destroyed by evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.”

      Albert Einstein

 

Getting older or better?

09/10/2018 /

Are you scared of turning 60?  Or 70?  Or whatever age you’re about to be?

We get a number in our heads and we start worrying…what will life be like, what will I look like, and how much longer do I have…and most of the time, these fears are based on advertising, old movies, or mean old people we knew when we were children.

That crabby lady down the street who never handed out Halloween candy.  The old man who seemed to get so old so fast.  Our third-grade math teacher who never smiled.  When we were about 10 years old, they seemed to be 100.  But of course, they weren’t.

They were just older.  And since it was probably 50+ years ago when we knew them, they were older in a different time.  A time when there weren’t yoga classes for people over 70. Or strength training opportunities for anyone past 80.  Or well-designed communities for people over 55 with everything from an indoor pool to a pub to a non-stop calendar of events.

So, whether it’s true or not, it seems like people “back then” aged faster. They certainly didn’t have all the health and nutrition advantages we do now.  Many of them probably did physical labor for so many years it took its toll. Health conditions that are quite treatable today weren’t then.  People sat outside and worshipped the sun without realizing the dangers, so there a whole lot more wrinkles to rock.

Today, some say 50 is the new 40, 60 is the new 50, and so on. Maybe just say 60 is the new 60!  Maybe don’t worry about the number; but do have a good understanding of the physical changes that occur as we age and how we can enjoy life more than ever.

There are some physical changes to be aware of as we get older…startsat60.com lists a few:

  • Our taste buds are not quite as sharp.
  • Body odor changes.
  • Always loved sweets? You might find yourself with stronger cravings for salty, or vice versa.
  • Feeling stiff and sore in the morning is common as we age.
  • Wonder why you always seem to have a bruise? Your skin is thinner so a slight bump can leave a mark.
  • Feel achy? If you’ve had bad posture or have been inactive for years, it’s going to show.
  • Dry skin. Drink more water and use lotions.
  • Bladder problems can occur.
  • You might forget things more often.

Is it all bad news?  NO!  While it’s a good idea to understand that these changes are normal, it’s even more important to know you can do quite a lot to level the playing field.

Here’s some thoughts from Mayo Clinic about healthy aging:

  • Every day, do something physical. Walk, swim, do chair aerobics…it will help you maintain a healthy weight, lower blood pressure and feel better in general.
  • Don’t smoke. Eat a healthy diet.  And get enough sleep.
  • Bones weaken as we age. So, get enough calcium, vitamin D and watch your alcohol intake. And join a gym for some strength training—you are never too old to build muscle.
  • Stay social. Find reasons to get out and meet people, stay in touch with friends, have the family over.  Social interaction wards off depression  and stress, which can contribute to memory loss.
  • Exercise your mind by always learning something new…a foreign language, a new way to drive to the store, or a complex puzzle to solve.

The GREAT news about turning older.

Remember when you were 39 and you thought 40 meant it was all over?

Or turning 50 and thinking everything was going to stop?

Well chances are it didn’t….you look back now and laugh, thinking how young you were then, and if “I’d only known” then I wouldn’t have worried.  It’s the same now.  Find someone 10 years older and they will urge you to get up, get active and enjoy life with all the gusto you can.

Because being afraid of what might come isn’t going to help.

Being proactive in making “now” better just might.

  • You can sit in front of the TV all day. Or you can go to the park and walk by a lake.
  • You can never learn another thing. Or you can take an adult education class and learn all about something you never even considered, make new friends, and expand your world.
  • You can eat the same food every day. Or you can go online and find new recipes and try them out on your friends.
  • You can look at old photos and cry. Or you can become a docent at a local history museum and interact with interested people all day.
  • You can decide no one cares anymore. Or you can connect with a volunteer agency in your town and start helping the truly needy and forgotten.

Life really is what you make it.  And you have the wisdom, experience and talent to make it spectacular.  Or at least, more interesting than you thought possible.

It’s your time.  And it’s your choice.

Sit and stew…or rock that wrinkle?

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.

        Henry David Thoreau

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