Category: Uncategorized (Page 10 of 39)

During my last adventure in moving, the crew somehow managed to mangle a piece of furniture I had carried with me through several previous moves.  It was a somewhat odd piece; a bit of wrought iron in an interesting shape holding what was basically a metal tray at the top, and then sprayed black.  Sounds ugly, but it was actually interesting.

When I opened the box it was supposed to be in, all that remained was the metal bottom, now squashed together and no sign of the top.  I’m not sure how they managed to do this, but it was done. I kept the mangled iron piece, as it just seemed like the right thing to do.  In my new digs, I put the piece in the yard, thinking maybe it could be some kind of yard art or a vessel for a vine to cling to.

A few years pass.  And the piece is just leaning against the fence, looking lost. I’m thinking it’s starting to suggest I’m collecting junk for the sake of collecting junk. So I go out one day and pick it up, and inspect it again.

It’s still interesting.  In fact, in many ways, it’s downright beautiful.  A little scarred.  A  bit more rusted.  But actually an elegant design that begs to be seen. 

I carry it inside my house.

I’ve always loved art with texture…tapestry, fiber, something I can put my hands on.  I like unexpected things.  I like found objects. So hey…what about that empty space on that wall?  Where I’ve been hoping to find something I like to put there, yet finances have kept me from really pursuing anything?

You guessed it.  I hung it. And I LOVE it.

And even if no one else understands, I do.

It made me think.  If we can repurpose objects that have been mangled or abused, why can’t we repurpose ourselves?  We get older, and we start feeling like we don’t fit in.  We want to get involved in new projects and groups and we are timid to do so because someone will think “we’re old.” 

Our careers come to a stopping point, often by no choice of ours, and we have to find part-time employment.  Yet we have anxiety about walking into a business and inquiring if they need help, because we know we’ll be years older than the person standing there.

Or maybe we are just ready to “repurpose” ourselves, but we’re not sure we know how.  Can we really do that?  Is it ever too late to shake off some of the rust and get back out there?

It’s funny how time works. When we’re in our 20s and 30s the road just seems to stretch out forever.  Then we get to the 40s and 50s and it feels like everything is speeding up.

Then the 60s come and we would give anything to have 20 years back (and our waistline).

Where did it all go?  And what lies ahead?  If all we really have is right now, this minute, then does any of that really matter?  Maybe the best use of our energy is just making it right now, whatever that is.

Check out what author and educator Nancy K. Schlossberg wrote in a 2018 Market Watch article:

“When Mikhail Baryshnikov, then age 62, danced at the 2010 Ringling Museum International Festival, he came onto a plain stage with nothing but a screen. He started dancing to a video of a young man dancing. And the young man was Baryshnikov at a much earlier age. He danced to his younger self. You saw three dancers-the younger, the older and the shadow. He no longer leapt in the air but he still created a thrilling performance. He had style.”

As baby boomers and beyond, we’ve earned the right to be whoever we choose to be, and if that means a newer, “repurposed” version of ourselves, then bring it on.  We’re still handsome.  We’re still beautiful.  We’re still spirits in the universe.

Life really is a kaleidoscope. And each time we turn it, we see new things. New shapes. New beauty. And that includes us.

Make each day your masterpiece. John Wooden

You’ve worked hard. Very hard. You’ve worked so hard for so many years that it’s how you define yourself. You see familiar faces every day, follow a familiar routine, and relate to the world based on what is expected of you. There’s a peace in this. A safe comfort.

Your goal: to retire eventually and really “start enjoying life.” You long to sleep past the alarm, have that second cup of coffee on the deck, plan your day as you wish or have no plan at all.

It all sounds divine.

And then it happens.

And you feel lost.

No one is expecting you each morning. You are free to do or not do as you please. Your “title” is how you were once known. There’s no friendly chatter in the break room or office parties at the holidays.

You’re not even sure what you’re supposed to do now…or who you are.

Freedom is scary sometimes. It’s easy to forget how it felt all those years ago when you took a chance on a job, or moved to a new city, or took a deep breath and went it to the boss and said give me a raise or I’m history. You did it then. You forged your path and created your persona.

And you can do it again. Because now, all the noise and chatter and burden of what others expect from you is fading away…and your spirit is free to guide you.

If that sounds all touchy feely, think about it. This might be the first opportunity you’ve had to really see what’s inside…is there a creative voice waiting to express something? Is there a cheerful volunteer looking to help others? Is there an adventurous soul who is ready for that bicycle trip to Europe?

And when it comes to age, sure, you’re older. But good news: it might mean you’re even better! The New England Journal of Medicine says, “…abilities requiring expertise and experience, verbal knowledge, executive functioning, and complex problem solving—the components of wisdom—don’t peak until our 70s. As compared with younger people, older people report having significantly less stress and worry and significantly more happiness and life satisfaction.”

How’s that for a boost? You really are getting better!

So retire with pride. With gusto. With the understanding that it might feel odd for a bit, and you might feel lost, but the path is waiting for you. And you soon will be ready to go places you’ve never before imagined.

And if your “path” is simply a quieter way of life, that’s okay because that is what is right for you. No more rush hour madness. No pressure to dress “corporate.” No having to ignore the rudeness of a supervisor. That person you’ve always been deep down inside no longer has to bend and twist to conform to company policy.

Now, you’re the boss of you. (At least in theory!) So give yourself a raise! A raise in happiness. In spontaneous moments of fun. In making a difference in someone else’s life. In trying something new or going back to something you loved long ago.

And don’t forget the wisdom and experience you have gained is so valuable. When you’re ready, share it with someone younger. It’s your gift to the universe.

Retire from stress, not life. You’ve been promoted!

“Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J. A. West

Life is not about the trending fashion. The latest catch phrase. The cute cat video that pops up every 5 minutes.

Life is not how much money you make. Or how you display that with the biggest house, fanciest car, grandest vacation or sparkling gold bracelets.

It’s not who you know.

Where you studied.

Which team you played on.

Life is messy. Unshaven. Interruptive. Inconvenient.

Life is a friend’s house burning to the ground in the middle of the night. Life is someone you love getting a very bad diagnosis and being very scared. It’s sitting up at 3 a.m. wondering how you’re going to put food on the table and also pay a sky-high medical bill. It’s a disabled Veteran in pain spending hours just trying to see a physician.

It isn’t how many likes you get on Facebook.

It isn’t being seen in the hippest new nightspot.

It isn’t parking your gigantic vehicle as close to the door of a business so everyone can see it (and have to walk around it).

It’s remembering that sweet neighbor who now lives in assisted living with no one to visit her or tell her happy birthday. It’s pushing your lawn mower a few yards down the street to cut the grass for someone you don’t know. It’s taking extra flowers with you to a cemetery so you can put some on long-forgotten graves of strangers.

But sometimes, life is also about standing still. Quiet. Taking a breath and not getting even when someone is surprisingly rude to you.

The world around us isn’t very gentle these days. The loudest voices are those who scream their views, who shake their fists, who forget that none of that helps. Too much information. Not enough asking questions, investigating the source, ascertaining the truth.

There’s a disturbing rudeness to the dialog that demeans us all.

We boomers must know better—or at least we should. We’ve seen just about everything in our lives, and we’ve come through it all. For sure we’ve learned that flash and glitz and riches don’t make the tiniest difference when life really happens…when it hurts, disappoints, terrifies or just seems to be moving on without us.

Surely over the years we’ve also learned that listening…really hearing and absorbing what is going on, what is being said or even what is not being said, is much more important than our clever response.

Everyone has a choice about how they go through life, who they help, what they spend their money on, how they interact with those around them. But sometimes, all a person can do to honor someone else is to do nothing…at least in that moment.

Be quiet and let them speak. Let them be different. Let them rave if that will help dispel the rage.

Let them be. Let them live and let live.

Will it change the world? Maybe it will just change your corner of the world. But you can be that ripple in the universe, the butterfly’s wings that affect the entire planet. It has to start somewhere.

It could start with you. With all of us baby boomers.

We have the power to do so much.

And sometimes, we find the courage to do the biggest thing we can do for someone—just be there.

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

Omar Khayyam

“Keep looking up. That’s the secret of life.” Snoopy