Category: The good news (Page 7 of 11)

Welcome Winter!

 

IMG_0008Winter has an inferiority complex—and I think we’re to blame.

We complain a lot about winter. As baby boomers and beyond, we grumble about how the cold air makes our bones ache. Dries out our skin. Causes us to shiver on the bus stop or while walking our dog.

We don’t want to drive in it. Or sit outdoors at a sporting event and be uncomfortable.

Winter gets in our way. Slows us down. Simplifies everything.

Hey wait…maybe that’s a good thing?

There’s nothing like 15 degrees, a strong north wind, and a little sleet to force you to take stock. Are you prepared? Do you have what you need to survive? Are you making wise decisions so you literally can stay alive?

And going a bit deeper….are you living your life the way you hoped?

I confess I can grow weary of shoveling snow and slushing around in heavy boots and multiple layers of cold. But I also relish the amazing beauty of this season.

As children, we loved to make snowmen, ride sleds, build forts and attack unsuspecting adults with a barrage of snowballs. (When I was a senior in college, we did this to the professors leaving the journalism building—they were not amused).

Now, I marvel how the snow can sparkle like diamonds. How snow-capped hills shine brilliantly against an unbelievably blue sky. How the crisp air awakens every part of me every time I go outdoors.

Just look at your pets. At least in my house, my dog delights in the snow with a joy that takes me back to that giddy feeling of school being canceled and a warm kitchen.

IMG_0816Instead of seeing winter as a time of decay and death, consider the blanket of beauty that winter can bring to nature. Think of Walt Whitman’s “unseen buds, infinite and waiting”. The ice-covered ponds. How snow lands on each tree branch and defines it with exquisite detail.

“The life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam.” (Words of John Burroughs.)

Garrison Keillor of A Prairie Home Companion once commented how “winter gives us purpose.” I like that. I like a season that reminds us who is in charge, and that we are left with ourselves.

Maybe as people aged 50 and better we can really understand that winter can be hard, but it will pass. Winter’s dreary nature doesn’t last forever. It might not even last a day. And doesn’t the cold make it easier to draw closer together? To snuggle against what is out there, or what might be coming?

And winter is a perfect time to stop and think about those who truly face the challenges of the dropping temperatures…the homeless, the frail, the forgotten. Those who have no shelter from the storm. Who sit by the shops with their empty cup and watch us come and go.

We know their struggle is real, because many of our parents and relatives lived through the Great Depression and had very little. We understand how hard it can be. And we can help.

Wrap yourself up this winter, but not so tight that you cannot take in all that is happening around you. Seasons change. We grow older. And life renews itself again.

 

 

“Winter is the kind of showman,

Turning tree stumps into snowmen

And houses into birthday cakes

And spreading sugar over lakes.

Smooth and clean and frosty white,

The world looks good enough to bite.

That’s the season to be young,

Catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Snow is snowy when it’s snowing,

I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.”

            Ogden Nash

Which way to go?

Whenever I go for a hike, I’m always eager to get started, to walk through the beautiful scenery, breathe the fresh air and feel the sun on my face. I’m careful to keep my balance as I walk over rocks and roots so that I won’t stumble.

So as much as I’m enjoying my surroundings, I’m mainly concentrating on my feet…on getting where I am going.

The destination.

DSC_0180 - Version 2Along with this is the aspect of time. If I’ve driven to the mountains for the day, I know my time is somewhat limited, so at some point, I’ll need to either turn around, or only spend so much time at the trail’s end before knowing it’s time to get back. So as beautiful as the lake is, or the view, or the mountaintop, or wherever it is I’m going, it’s not forever.

I can’t stay there. I want to get there, but I can’t stay there.

When I ultimately do turn around to go back down the trail, I’m always struck by how much more I enjoy that part of the hike. I see things from “the other side”. I notice so much more. Everything looks even more beautiful and I often see things I missed on the way up…maybe it’s an unusual tree. Or a lovely small waterfall trickling down the side of the trail. Or a view from a perspective I didn’t note on the way up.

The hike feels more inviting, more relaxing. Because I’ve already accomplished what I set out to do—hike the trail. Now I can really enjoy it.

But only when I’m coming back down the trail.

 Lately I’m struggling with a crossroads. Trying to decide which path to take, or whether to simply be still. My heart pulled me years ago to move a great distance to answer my yearning for the beauty of the mountains. I did it, scared and unsure, but I followed my instincts and took the giant step. There were many who advised against it, just as there were many who applauded my determination.

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Now, almost a decade later, I’m faced with some challenges that include, in various degrees, issues about money, aging, a strong desire to do something else with my life, and more. I’m considering turning around on the trail and going back to where I was before.

Mind you, I’m still just considering it. Yet already I’m hearing some of the same things I heard almost 10 years ago. How can you do that? Aren’t you scared? What if it’s a mistake? (And my new favorite):

How can you give up on your dream?

I’m not giving up on anything. I’ve accomplished my dream. I’ve lived it. It’s in my heart and it will always be there. I can come back and touch it anytime I choose.

But I’m not on the same part of the trail anymore.

Already, I’m “heading back” in many ways these days. It’s not so much a slowing down as it is re-evaluating. I’m asking myself:

What matters most to me?

What brings me joy?  

 Can I have more peace of mind?

 What new adventures would I like to participate in?

I’ve been talking with some trusted friends and mentors about their experiences of “going home again.”   One very successful man told me I’m “driving his Porsche.” He said he always wanted a Porsche, and longed for years to have one. Now he’s in a position to have one, but he no longer wants it. Instead, he’s enjoying married life with his wife and stepson. “But you went out and followed your dream,” he said. “You’ll always have that.”

IMG_0799 - Version 2Another wise friend reminded me of words written by author and teacher Parker Palmer, who talks about two kinds of heartbreak. The heartbreak when you are deeply hurt or angry and your heart feels like it’s in shards. And then heartbreak where you heart has to break open in order for the new good things to flow in.

I like that. Because thinking any kind of change won’t be painful is short-sighted.

Of course it is.

Giving up anything you love hurts. Yet, as I think Palmer is saying, it also makes you stronger.

I also like the idea that while I may never really “belong” anywhere—simply because I’ve lived in 4 states in my life—I’ll always “belong” with myself. Place is important, but it’s not what stays deep inside. I think I’ve always had this “place” inside of me, just as I’ve always carried other places with me as well.

Look at a labyrinth:  you begin on the outside, following the wide path around the edges, slowly working yourself closer and closer to the center.  Then suddenly, you find yourself walking back towards the outer edge, going back past the route you just took, yet you aren’t in the same place.

You’re covering new ground.  

And in fact, you have to do that to eventually reach the center destination…before you turn around and walk back to where you began.

When you throw caution to the wind (at least metaphorically) and you do achieve what you’ve always wanted….a new address, a new relationship, a new job, whatever…you show courage and self-knowledge. No one can ever take that away from you.

Where you go from there is your decision. There’s a lot of advice out there about how to change your life and go a whole new way. There’s very little said about deciding at some point to return to your roots, and start life anew.

That’s really rockin’ the wrinkle!

I still don’t know what to do. I’ve been at crossroads before, many times wondering which path looked like the right one. But I can say that I’ve always trusted the trail to take me where I need to be.

And it’s always a welcome sight.

“Wherever you are is the entry point.”

     Kabir

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

      Marcel Proust

“And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.”
    Kahlil Gibran

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

    Yogi Berra

What pets have taught me Part 2.

Sit in the sun more often.

Sleep deeply but keep one eye open.

IMG_0630 - Version 2

If people smell like an animal, they’re probably okay.

Quiet people generally are better company.

A lap just feels better than a hard floor.

It is possible to watch someone eat something without actually looking at them.

Outside water tastes better than an indoor water bowl.

Treats are always a good idea.

Bacon is worth waiting for.

Don’t walk too fast or you’ll miss all the best stuff.

You can’t trust a cat.

You can’t trust a dog.

Never trust anyone who can’t handle a cold nose.

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The best room to be in is the one without a remote, television, phone, or laptop.

Kitchens are great places to be.  If you move quickly.

There are all kinds of things out there in the dark…and some of them are watching us.

Riding in the car can be great fun, depending on where we are going.

Coming home is the best.

Patience is a good thing.

Love is forever.

Naps are essential.

Baths aren’t.

Lying on top of vents is divine.

Outside always looks better when you’re inside.

Inside always looks better when you’re outside.

Sometimes, just sitting in an open doorway works best.

Eventually, something good will fall on the floor.

We all have dreams.

photo - Version 4The best toys are like old friends.

Sharing toys with friends is even better.

Cheerios are good. Cheese is better.

We all deserve a warm place to sleep.

When you’re still, you can really smell what’s going on.

Every day is a new start.

Growing older isn’t so bad.

As long as we’re together, everything will be just fine.

 

 “Lots of people talk to animals, but not many listen.  That’s the problem.”

       Benjamin Off

 

Acting your age?

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Do you laugh out loud as much as possible?

Do you ever dance with the broom to your favorite song?

Do you pause to admire a cherry 57 Chevy when it rolls by?

Do you occasionally wander into the children’s book section just to revisit old friends who used to take you on adventures?

Do you ever watch Bugs Bunny alone and roar with laughter?

Do you sometimes reach down to feel soft, green grass, and remember what it was like to lay there for hours as a child?

Do you like to try new things, like hang gliding or zip lining?

Do you choose the most colorful hat in the store just because?

Do you buy peanuts at baseball games?

Do you eat ice cream cones at the beach?

Do you still gasp at great fireworks?

Do you put your toes in wet sand and wait for the tide to wash over them?

Do you sign up for classes just to learn something new?

Do you play golf with your pals and giggle when one of you misses the ball?

Do you ever roll down the windows and turn the music way, way up?

Do you still order fries?

Do you love how a swimming pool feels on a hot summer’s day?

Do you take a nap when you feel like it?

Do you kayak, hike, fish, bike, paddle board, roller blade, or anything else just to get outdoors on a beautiful day?

Do you still enjoy flirting?

Do you smuggle candy into a movie theater?

Do you ever draw, paint, or write just for fun?

Do you try to really enjoy every moment of your life?

 

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What age are we? Whatever we feel at the moment.

(Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.)

Rock that wrinkle!

 

“We turn not older with years, but newer every day.”

     Emily Dickinson

 

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