Category: The good news (Page 4 of 11)

12 days of a boomer Christmas.

12/25/2017 / Laura

12 Days of a Boomer Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my Subaru gave to me…..

a broken transmission they’ll repair for free.

On the second day of Christmas, my neighbor’s trees gave to me….

two zillion new leaves, and a broken transmission they’ll fix for free.

On the third day of Christmas, my utility company gave to me….

a lovely rate increase, two zillion leaves, and a broken transmission they’ll fix for free.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my clients gave to me….…

last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two zillion leaves, and a transmission they fix for free.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my pantry gave to me….…

chili cheese fritos! last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two zillion leaves, and a transmission they fix for free.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my closet gave to me….…

the next size, chili cheese fritos! last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two zillion leaves, and why is it always me.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my remotes gave to me…

seven batteries a-dying, the next size, chili cheese fritos! last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two gazillion leaves, and broken transmission oh golly gee.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my dog gave to me….

eight bags of black hair, seven batteries a-dying, the next size, chili cheese fritos! last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two gazillion leaves, and a transmission they fix for free.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my subconscious gave to me…

nine ways to feel guilty, eight bags of black hair, seven batteries a-dying, the next size, chili cheese fritos! Four last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two gazillion leaves, and please please someone help me.

On the tenth day of Christmas, driving gave to me…

ten new swear words …nine ways to feel guilty, eight bags of black hair, seven batteries a-dying, the next size, chili cheese fritos! Four last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two gazillion leaves, and someone get the cat out of the tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my oven gave to me…

eleven ways to ruin cookies …ten new swear words, nine ways to feel guilty, eight bags of black hair, seven batteries a-dying, the next size, chili cheese fritos! Four last-minute rush jobs, a lovely rate increase, two gazillion leaves, and please please someone help me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my heart gave to me….

12 reasons to be happy

11 million reasons to be grateful

10 ways to find joy each day

9 people I could help right now

8 chances to smile every hour

7 recipes to share

6 songs I could hum as I drive

5 people I could wave to as they cut me off in traffic!

4 elderly friends who could use a visit

3 old friends I miss

2 donations to make

and a Merry Christmas to one and all!

“Ho Ho Ho!”

Santa Claus

what are you waiting for?

12/18/2017 / Laura

It’s Advent. A season of waiting, of hope, of learning patience for all the wonderful things that could be. That’s not something many of us really understand easily, in this age of right now, right here, right away. We’re so sure we know what is around the corner, so why doesn’t it just get here already?

But what if we acknowledge that we truly do not know what is ahead…and let that be okay? We might find a real peace in giving up control (like we had it anyway) and just letting life be.

You’d think as boomers, having gone through so many things in our life—most of it unexpected—we’d be used to the idea that we often have no clue. We make our plans, we deliver our list to our higher power, and then we wait for it all to come true.

Surely Santa will find us, even if we don’t have a chimney.

And then Christmas morning comes, and it’s not under the tree. The new job. The perfect marriage. The wonderful house. The dream we’ve been keeping in our hearts for a lifetime. Why? What did we do wrong?

Why can’t we have what we want, and right now?

Or…maybe we did get it.

That new job…what you really wanted was to feel competent and respected. Look around: there are probably many people who consider you a mentor. You’re smart. Successful. Own it!

The perfect marriage...would that be Ozzie and Harriet or Father Knows Best? Those are television shows. Reality is a bit tougher. And maybe just taking a look at photos of you and your spouse from the early years might remind you why you fell in love. He/she is still there, sitting right across from you every morning.

That wonderful house...it’s okay to want a sparkling new kitchen or a wonderful deck for entertaining. Maybe just making some easy changes would make things feel new, like new paint or rug or outdoor furniture. Like they say, if you want it, picture it…you never know.

That dream….this is where it gets trickier. You always wanted to live in the mountains. Or you’ve pictured the farm in the country with cats, dogs, horses and more. Or you haven’t been to Europe and you’re starting to wonder if you’ll make it. Maybe what’s really tugging at your heart is something else—a need to explore. To take a risk. To do something a bit frivolous and throw caution to the wind.

Do it. Right now. Every day. Do something unexpected. Even a little crazy. It might take you just a few steps closer to doing the big thing you’ve always wanted to do.

In “Things That Join The Sea and The Sky,” author Mark Nepo says:

“At the end of all we want, we’re meant to glow. So long and want and dream till you exhaust your heart’s desire. We learn so much from longing, and wanting, and dreaming. Mostly, that they are not the mansions we dream of living in, but the wood that keeps our fire going.”

I have to believe we get what we need, and, if we ask, we do get what we want….but it might not even be something we realize we want. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever. Remember being a child on Christmas Eve?

It’s a season of joy…it’s coming, but it’s also here, within us, even if we have to hunt for it. Let’s not give up.

“Let’s approach Christmas with an expectant hush, rather than a last-minute rush.”

Anonymous

Past the expiration date?

10/09/2017 / Laura

I’ve been thinking about expiration dates. I fear I have ignored too many in my life.

I’m not talking about a can of biscuits, but rather relationships, jobs, situations, etc. Things that more than outlived their freshness and yet I stayed on…out of fear, laziness, or just inertia.

Funny thing is, looking back, once I cut myself free from whatever it is that long had stopped being a healthy choice, my life got so much better. Whoda thunk?

What I’m hoping is this: now that I’m wiser (!) and older, perhaps I’ll spot much earlier when it’s time to let go of something toxic. Move on. Stop the madness. Resist.

Because there’s just not enough time to waste on things that are harmful to us.

Problem is, often the harm is sneaky and slow, and we don’t see what it’s doing to our spirit. Nibbling away at us quietly like mice in the night. I don’t know about you, but I’ve set out traps and called in exterminators and plugged holes and watched Mickey and Minnie enough times to know if you don’t completely get rid of the problem, it’s coming back…and with friends.

So I’m hoping this time around, in my older years, I’m taking action quicker.

For example, the work situation that asks too much and returns too little. The “friendship” that really isn’t. The romance that tears down, instead of building up. The incessant user of our energy…whatever or whoever it is…that is not enriching our soul, but eroding it.

Enough already!

Meditation is one strategy. When the urge to give in to the bad energy comes over us, we can sit still, find our breathing and try to let the feeling pass. Sometimes it works, sometimes we just want to scream or throw a rock. (I think that’s okay, as long as it’s done safely.)

Helping others is a good idea. Get out of myself and get into helping another person…whether it’s a phone call to someone struggling with something, or inviting someone to lunch who never gets out. Volunteer at a local shelter. See just how powerful my “good” energy can be when directed in the right direction.

Make a list. I’ve always said being a tad neurotic can come in handy. I like to write down the pros and cons of what I can’t seem to give up. Chances are the “bad” side of my list is much longer than the good. So why waste any more energy there?

Of course many situations are much more difficult to change. A painful romance or abusive marriage. A job that pays the bills but steals your soul. It’s up to each person to decide when enough is enough, and how to safely and positively walk away.

Just as M. Scott Peck says in the first line of The Road Less Traveled, “life is difficult”. So I know we have to expect some trial and strain in even the best situations and relationships. But I also know that for me, looking back, I often stayed in the rowboat much too long…after all the food and water was gone and the sharks were gnawing on the side…and now wonder why I didn’t just take my chances in the water.

Because I do know how to swim.

Or at least dog-paddle.

I’ve got the wrinkles to keep me afloat.

“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”

Parker Palmer

Embracing The Big Love Around Us

09/06/2017 / Laura

Are you getting in your own way of happiness?

It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day frenzy of just being human. From the moment the alarm sounds, we’re often on a race to hurry up and get to a desk where we can stop for a few minutes and then hurry up and get on the phone, to a meeting, across town to the bank, stop by the post office, pick up the kids, bathe the dog, hurry back home to be sure we’re in the kitchen so we can hurry up and get dinner on the table and sit for a few minutes before hurrying up to binge-watch the new series and finally, hurry to bed so we can start it all over again the next day.

Somewhere, along the way, we pass ourselves. Some part of us is looking out the window. Or noticing how the light is bouncing off the leaves as the season changes. Or remembering how glorious it felt to hike that trail on a cool fall morning or run through leaves giggling.

But we don’t have time to stop. And oddly, that’s a comforting thing.

We have our duties. Our roles. Our safe little worlds with no surprises. Even though sometimes, it feels like the walls are about 3 inches away, and getting closer.

And closer.

So that soon, our world is very, very small. And that candle inside us that used to shine so brightly and lead our way when we were first dreaming of what our lives can be…that candle is struggling to stay lit. It’s an inertia that slowly creeps through your bloodstream like a silent snake…robbing you of your curiosity. Your desire to know more, to explore unknown places and have adventures. Little by little, it seeps your energy. Like the death eaters in the Harry Potter stories it seems to hover overhead and suck the very life out of you.

A beautiful essay on the OnBeing Studios blog, “Beyond The Myths We Tell Ourselves, Big Love is Waiting” offers some wonderful insight. (OnBeing is an amazing multimedia project featuring a nationally broadcast public radio show, a portfolio of podcasts, and a digital publishing platform reaching millions of people each week.) Author Ali Schultz reminds us we are “not Atlas supporting the world; the world is supporting us.”

Schultz goes on to say:

“When I step out from the house of cards I’ve built for myself, I feel love. Big love.The clear path to such love requires excavation. We must, as Rumi notes, remove all of the blocks we’ve placed in our way to keep us from it. Somehow, somewhere, in all of our evolutionary neurological wiring, our wires have crossed so that we fearing being loved more than being safe, small, sure, busy, and turning away from the big open arms of life. We think we’ve got it all figured out. While our gifts for self-preservation and survival are strong, all we’ve figured out, really, is how to make sense of the world into which we were thrust, or find ourselves. Great skills, no doubt. But if we rely on them solely, we guard ourselves from another way of being with the world.”

“The big open arms of life.” What a wonderful image. So why are we so afraid to let go….to give up the control we mistakenly believe we have, and just let the energy and inspiration around us fill us?

Is that we don’t think we’re worthy? Or that we can’t remember how to find that energy? Are we giving into society’s obsession with youth and forgetting that we, baby boomers, anyone over 50, are the ones best equipped to recognize just what the universe can do for us…and know we have had it inside us all along?

More words from Ali Schultz:

“Perhaps the biggest form of self-denial is turning away from the grace that’s always there for us, right now here in the present, and has been with us throughout the arc of our history. Without a story to perpetuate or mental mazes to get lost in, you stop perpetuating the story, the delusion, that you’re alone holding it all together yourself. And, then, you can feel life rush in and join you in conversation. When you open to the world, big love is waiting for you.”

Taking a risk is scary. Changing your life is scary. Even just deciding you are going to realign your daily priorities can be scary, because others are going to react to what you are doing.