Richard Rohr Archives %- – Rock The Wrinkle

So many times when we talk about aging, we focus on the challenges, the inconveniences, the frustrations one can feel when the spirit is willing but the body may be growing weak. But what about the joys, the renewed insights and wisdom, the freedom that comes as we transition into the person we were always meant to be?

Take a listen to these great minds and how they have recognized the gifts of growing older…

“There is a gravitas in the second half of life, but it is now held up by a much deeper lightness, or “okayness.” … there is still darkness in the second half of life—in fact, maybe even more. But there is now a changed capacity to hold it creatively and with much less anxiety…. In this second half of life, one has less and less need or interest in eliminating the negative or fearful, making again those old rash judgments, holding on to old hurts, or feeling any need to punish other people…. Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

“I have found it very important in my own life to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live in hope. I am finding that when I choose to let go of my sometimes petty and superficial wishes and trust that my life is precious and meaningful in the eyes of God something really new, something beyond my own expectations begins to happen for me.” Henri Nouwen, Finding My Way Home

“As I get older, the more I stay focused on the acceptance of myself and others, and choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.” Tracee Ellis Ross

“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment. This is the beginning and the end of spiritual practice. Only in this moment can we discover that which is timeless. Only here can we find the love that we seek. Love in the past is simply memory, and love in the future is fantasy. Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world.” Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart

“Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life – it has given me me . It has provided time and experience and failures and triumphs and time-tested friends who have helped me step into the shape that was waiting for me. I fit into me now. I have an organic life, finally, not necessarily the one people imagined for me, or tried to get me to have. I have the life I longed for. I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I would be.” Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

It’s good to know we are not alone on this journey. It’s refreshing to know that we are still growing, still learning, still evolving…that new adventures await us and that all around us, there is energy and inspiration waiting to be tapped that can take us to places we never imagined.

And the best part: we get to do this now, wrinkles and all, because we couldn’t have done it before. Where are you on your journey? Are there lessons you’re just now learning that are giving you a whole new perspective?

Wherever you are, it’s the right place. And it’s only the beginning.

“Listen to the song of life.” Katherine Hepburn

Now is the season of new beginnings. New green shoots pushing up through the mud and remnants of a long winter that for some, still rages on. New hours of sunshine that add a touch of promise to each afternoon (who doesn’t hate driving home from work or anywhere in the dark at 5:30.) New clothes perhaps, with brighter colors and fun patterns.

And depending upon your spiritual beliefs, new beginnings in other ways.

A fresh start. A new day.

And how wonderful that this new beginning comes every year. It can be about so many things….maybe it’s not having that tempting late afternoon snack that’s not helping your cholesterol. Or putting in 5 extra minutes on the treadmill. Or deciding to make a real effort to keep the inside of your car clean (good luck).

In other words, we all might want to start small. Tiny strides, tiny victories that can add up.

And maybe most of all, it can be how we see the world, our neighborhood, our enemies, and ourselves.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest in New Mexico and founder of the Center of Action and Contemplation, has written what I think are some wonderful books worth checking out. In Immortal Diamond, he talks about seeking our true self—our soul—and letting the false self die. The false self being what we rely on in the beginning of our lives to get us through the formation of personality, career, relationships, etc…sort of like the games we have to play to get where we are. But now that we are “here”, we can fall back to what we truly are.

Our essence. Our link to the divine which has always been there.

There are many powerful passages in this book, but I especially like his advice for changing how we deal with negativism….our irritations with life. How many times I’ve been cut off in traffic and uttered language I’m not proud of, or had angry thoughts about the person next to me in the express line holding 56 items instead of 5, or any other of the countless daily situations that try my patience and usually win over my feeble attempt to be a better person. Richard Rohr has a suggestion for how to handle these moments….(from “Immortal Diamond”)….

“Next time a resentment, negativity or irritation comes into your mind…and you want to play it out or attach to it, move that thought or person literally into your heart space because such commentaries are almost entirely lodged in your head. There, surround it with silence (which is much easier to do in the heart). There, it is surrounded with blood, which will often feel warm like coals. in this place, it is almost impossible to comment, judge, create story lines, or remain antagonistic. You are in a place that does not create or feed on contraries but is the natural organ of life, embodiment, and love. Love lives and thrives in the heart space…it can make the difference between being happy and being miserable and negative.”

And who couldn’t use that? A relief valve that stops the wheel of anger right in its place, that takes the negative and wraps it in love, shuts our mouth and mind, and just sits. I sure can.

Richard Rohr calls it our “sacred heart”…where we hold things that need love and not judgment. I think the trick is to do it immediately, when the negative voice in your head starts. Turn off that valve and see the person or irritation moving to your heart.

It’s just a suggestion. But it might just be a wonderful way to mark what for many, is the season of hope…when seeds start to grow. And most happily, when those surprise crocus or tulips spring up and you don’t know how…you can’t remember planting them…but you are so glad they are there.

Maybe we can plant a few of our own right now.