Valentines cards, candy, and gifts are already in the stores, which is no surprise. Little red hearts and cute stuffed animals can make the most rational adult go screaming into the night if you don’t want to think about your romantic life (or lack of it).
As boomers and those with more years to our credit, we’ve been through this enough to ignore it if we choose. But one thing is worth paying attention to: how genuinely good it is for our health to touch one another, be affectionate, and have close relationships.
(Whether that relationship is with another human, an animal, or your leaf blower is up to you.)
Research is all over this. Holding hands reduces stress and pain, and the effects can last throughout the day. Being around people you care for causes you to experience a rise in “feel good” hormones like dopamine, which give us focus, energy, and optimism.
Companionship and affection can even help protect you from dementia, by helping build up our reserve of healthy brain cells, among other benefits.
Studies show that having a group of friends can help you live a longer and healthier life, especially when those friends are a mix of ages. I’ve always believed everyone should have at least one good friend over 80. You will learn more about patience and perspective than you ever thought possible.
Being social can boost your immune system. Friends lessen grief, enrich your life and improve your health. Friends can help you achieve your weight loss and fitness goals (unless they feel the need to share a 10-pound bag of M&Ms with you).
Just a simple hug can lower blood pressure.
And it’s true no matter our age. In fact, studies confirm that “elder” (I’ll let you define that term) romance can help people avoid possible health issues. The reason is you tend to be more active when you are sweet on someone. Your mind is fresher and more alive. You don’t feel depressed or alone.
Of course, there are many people who are alone…so what can they do?
Find good friends and spend time with them. Stay in touch. Hug when you see each other. Pat them on the back if a hug is more than you feel comfortable with. Build a bond of mutual caring and support.
It’s called “social capital”…the ties that build trust, connection and participation. It feels good to know someone cares, and the first step is often in our court—letting that person know we care.
So maybe the best valentine we can send is one to ourselves…to remind us that we can be a friend, have friends, and add some human touch without getting all uptight-American about it.
Cause it feels good as a dark chocolate truffle…without the calories.
“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”
Mother Teresa
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