generations Archives %- – Rock The Wrinkle

Hard to believe Thanksgiving is almost here. Getting together with the family over the holidays can be an interesting experience. It can be great fun catching up on the latest news, seeing the photos of boyfriends, high school plays, and meeting the new pet.

But sometimes knowing what to say to someone you never are around isn’t the easiest thing.

You know this is a great opportunity to bond. Share your wisdom as a boomer and beyond. Be inspired by some of the younger spirit.

But what do you talk about? Will your younger relatives be interested in anything you have to say?

One group has come up with a way to start a conversation—and a unique one at that. It’s called “Family, Let’s Talk! Starting Conversations Across Generations.” It comes in a small box filled with cards. A different question on is on each card. Members of your group take turns asking a question.

A sample of some of the questions:

If i was 20 years older, I’d ______________________________

If I died tomorrow, I’d most regret _______________________

The most thrilling sports event I witnessed was _____________

My favorite holiday memory is ___________________________

Granted, some questions are tougher than others. But what an interesting way to break the ice between generations, and maybe help one another gain a new appreciation for family history.

Imagine the pioneers, sitting in a dark and drafty cabin for months in the winter, with nothing to do but maybe knit, whittle, or rock back and forth. Granted, they were probably so exhausted by 6 p.m. they preferred to just go to sleep. But would guess these were the times when fathers talked to their sons. Mothers read to their daughters. by candlelight.

No television.

No phones.

Egad….no Facebook.

Just each other. And a very strong bond.

Of course most of us don’t want to go back to those days (though some still choose to live that simply), but I think many would agree there’s a loss of connection between the generations. Back then, families usually lived in one house, or very close by. These days, we’re spread all over the place.

It’s hard. Even with a cell phone growing out of our hand.

So maybe this Thanksgiving, after the feeding frenzy subsides, the football is becoming boring, and there’s still some time left together, you might pull out “Family, Let’s Talk” and see what happens.

“Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet with a few nuts.”

Anonymous

They say with age, comes wisdom. I believe that’s’ true. But at times, I want to know exactly what kind of wisdom is it that I’m getting more of each year.

Surely it’s more than realizing I can’t remember what I just wrote down on that slip of paper anymore, much less find the paper. Or that jumping off any surface higher than 6 inches is really not a good idea.

Is it wisdom about not being concerned about what everyone thinks about everything I do? That’s a good thing. Or wisdom that tells me what is really important in life, and what is really not? That helps with not wasting my time on superfluous stuff.

But what about the idea that as you grow wiser, you are expected to be kinder, more forgiving, more championing of the successes of others in your boomer & beyond community…even when it really is hard to do?

Stand by and cheer them on. Be glad for their success. Smile and clap at the right moments. It all sounds so Wayne Dyer-esque. It’s good for us. We know this.

But….

When you hear of someone who just suddenly, basically on a whim, accomplishes something you’ve worked your whole life to do, it’s hard. Even if what this person has done isn’t on the scale that you deem acceptable or have set out to do. They took the “easy” road.

You’re still trying to choose the right entrance ramp.

It’s one thing to be glad for them. It’s another to listen to all the accolades others bestow upon this person and not feel your blood boil.

Oh my. Not sounding much like Mother Teresa, are we?

I don’t like having these feelings. I tell myself I’m not jealous, because I don’t think I am. I guess it’s just that feeling of wanting my efforts recognized somehow, or maybe it’s that after a lifetime of working towards something, I don’t want to look up and see that some other person got there first because they bought the app.

Of course it shouldn’t matter. Even Jesus told a parable about the workers in the fields. So it’s clearly none of my business. And maybe I need to wise up and take a few shortcuts myself.

But I can’t bring myself to do that. There’s just certain areas of life I hold sacred, and while I expect younger generations (cue the sound of dentures falling out) to take the shorter route to everything (they deserve the find their own and better way)…I get upset when fellow boomers and beyond do it.

Go figure. I still expect us all to play fair and be nice to one another. Which of course means I need to do that as well. Without worrying that someone else just figured out how to get there first.

I’m working on it.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

Albert Schweitzer