courage Archives %- – Rock The Wrinkle

Ever have a moment when you really stop and think about where you are in life?

It can be kind of scary, especially if you’re well over 50 and sometimes it feels like the hourglass is running a bit too fast.

I confess to these moments, which seem to come in clusters. I’ll be going along without a bump, and then have one of those afternoons or weekends that makes me stop and think too much.

How did I get to this age this fast?

When is my “real life” going to start?

How much time is left, and what do I want to accomplish?

Then all the doubts come in, like the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz. What if I’m too old already. Too tired. Not smart enough. Not in the best shape. Short on cash. Lack the confidence. It’s so easy to go global on self-doubt, and it can be particularly frustrating because now that we’re older, we’re supposed to be wiser about all this stuff, right?

Sometimes.

Part of me knows that wherever I am, what I’m right where I am supposed to be. Author, philosopher, and scientist Emmet Fox calls it your “right place.” Your actions have brought you here, so it’s not “wrong”.

But Fox also talks about our “true place”…where our soul hungers to be. That’s the hard one sometimes. Because, as a quote says that I have on my wall, “if you find a way of life you love, you have to have the courage to live it.”

I understand that. You can answer that calling inside of you and take that daring step…move across country, completely change professions, end or begin a relationship…get past the fear, get settled in, know it’s right, and then….

Now what?

The days of doubt still come. The fearful thoughts still pop up like uninvited guests in your dreams. You start to wonder if being so brave was really foolish. Maybe you should have stayed where you were. After all, you know how to do that. This new stuff, this living your dream, is something you weren’t trained for.

Thoreau talks about building castles in the air. Goethe says genius waits for us. Joseph Campbell tells us to go forward. Eleanor Roosevelt said we must do the things we think we cannot do.

Quite a heady group. Still I wonder, surely they had their moments of “did I do the right thing?”

Maybe it’s all part of being human, while trying to connect with our spirit. And maybe the bravest thing of all is to realize that we always have freedom to change our path. Go a different direction. Even if that sometimes means going back…that’s not the same as going backwards.

Because we’re not the same person we were when we started this journey.

What do you think? How do you handle your moments of doubt? I would sincerely like to know, because I think these are things we are often afraid to talk about, yet they can be the important questions we face.