Tag: boomer (Page 2 of 3)

what are you waiting for?

12/18/2017 / Laura

It’s Advent. A season of waiting, of hope, of learning patience for all the wonderful things that could be. That’s not something many of us really understand easily, in this age of right now, right here, right away. We’re so sure we know what is around the corner, so why doesn’t it just get here already?

But what if we acknowledge that we truly do not know what is ahead…and let that be okay? We might find a real peace in giving up control (like we had it anyway) and just letting life be.

You’d think as boomers, having gone through so many things in our life—most of it unexpected—we’d be used to the idea that we often have no clue. We make our plans, we deliver our list to our higher power, and then we wait for it all to come true.

Surely Santa will find us, even if we don’t have a chimney.

And then Christmas morning comes, and it’s not under the tree. The new job. The perfect marriage. The wonderful house. The dream we’ve been keeping in our hearts for a lifetime. Why? What did we do wrong?

Why can’t we have what we want, and right now?

Or…maybe we did get it.

That new job…what you really wanted was to feel competent and respected. Look around: there are probably many people who consider you a mentor. You’re smart. Successful. Own it!

The perfect marriage...would that be Ozzie and Harriet or Father Knows Best? Those are television shows. Reality is a bit tougher. And maybe just taking a look at photos of you and your spouse from the early years might remind you why you fell in love. He/she is still there, sitting right across from you every morning.

That wonderful house...it’s okay to want a sparkling new kitchen or a wonderful deck for entertaining. Maybe just making some easy changes would make things feel new, like new paint or rug or outdoor furniture. Like they say, if you want it, picture it…you never know.

That dream….this is where it gets trickier. You always wanted to live in the mountains. Or you’ve pictured the farm in the country with cats, dogs, horses and more. Or you haven’t been to Europe and you’re starting to wonder if you’ll make it. Maybe what’s really tugging at your heart is something else—a need to explore. To take a risk. To do something a bit frivolous and throw caution to the wind.

Do it. Right now. Every day. Do something unexpected. Even a little crazy. It might take you just a few steps closer to doing the big thing you’ve always wanted to do.

In “Things That Join The Sea and The Sky,” author Mark Nepo says:

“At the end of all we want, we’re meant to glow. So long and want and dream till you exhaust your heart’s desire. We learn so much from longing, and wanting, and dreaming. Mostly, that they are not the mansions we dream of living in, but the wood that keeps our fire going.”

I have to believe we get what we need, and, if we ask, we do get what we want….but it might not even be something we realize we want. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever. Remember being a child on Christmas Eve?

It’s a season of joy…it’s coming, but it’s also here, within us, even if we have to hunt for it. Let’s not give up.

“Let’s approach Christmas with an expectant hush, rather than a last-minute rush.”

Anonymous

A little wisdom please.

06/06/2016 / Laura

If you’re a boomer and beyond, you’ve learned a lot in your life. I hope you are still learning. None of us knows everything, has been everywhere, or experienced everything. We’re babes in the woods for sure. Yet for the most part, we are now wise enough to understand that, and admit we know more than we used to, but not all we should.

So in the spirit of how age can be a great teacher, I implore you: share your smarts. Be wise around younger people. Don’t fall prey to all the crazy, ignorant, harmful rhetoric that’s out there right now.

Seriously. Things are ugly. Insults are flying and forth. Violence erupts without warming on the highways. People are shunning neighbors and relatives because their beliefs are so far apart.

Let’s not fuel it any further.

Instead, let’s step back. Breathe. Meditate. Take a walk. Let a moment pass without making it worse.

We can disagree. We can decry what’s become of our political landscape. We can engage in spirited debate.

But let’s stop the hate. It’s not helping. And it’s a bad lesson to be passing on to the younger generations.

Your opinions on this message are welcome. Maybe you have some thoughts on how to calm things down a bit.

Remember The Youngbloods? Then you’ll remember this song….

Get Together

Love is but a song we sing

Fear’s the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Some may come and some may go
He will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment’s sunlight
Fading in the grass

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

If you hear the song I sing
You will understand, listen
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It’s there at your command

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

I said come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Right now
Right now

What do you say? Let’s give it a shot.

“For every moment you are angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you who you are?

04/25/2016 / Laura

At this point in our boomer and beyond lives, it’s safe to say our personalities are pretty set. Whether we realize it or not, we project how happy we are, how generous or selfish we are, and how positive or negative we are. Granted, we might have an occasional epiphany or revelation that stops us in our tracks, but for the most part, we are a specific person—and others know us by this.

Then again, is this who are we really? Is this who we really were meant to be?

Without getting too crazy, think about it this way: are you the man or woman that society, your parents, your spouse and your boss expects you to be? When deep down, there’s a rebel dying to get out….

An artist straining to break free and do something unique….

An adventurer who wants to throw caution to the wind and roam the world….

A peaceful counselor who’d rather negotiate that join in the regular family fight….

A contemplative who much prefers solitude and a pen and paper to raucous family get-togethers….

And if you’re not letting that inner person shine through now, when will you?

Professor, writer, and mythologist Joseph Campbell says “the heroic life is living the individual adventure.” Here are some of his thoughts:

“If what you are following is your own true adventure, if it is something appropriate to your deep spiritual need or readiness, then magical guides will appear to help you. If you say, ‘Everyone’s going on this trip this year, and I’m going too,’ then no guides will appear. Your adventure has to be coming right out of your own interior. If you are ready for it, then doors will open where there were no doors before, and where there would not be doors for anyone else. And you must have courage. It’s the call to adventure, which means there is no security, no rules.”

Picture a 70+ year-old man who decides he wants to hike the Appalachian Trail, and his children think he’s crazy.

Or a 65-year-old woman who sells her possessions and joins the Peace Corps because she’s always wanted to teach children how to sew.

Or something as simple as deciding you don’t like playing bridge every Thursday. Or wearing your hair the same old way (maybe a purple stripe?) Or being expected to watch the grandkids on the beach when in fact, you’d like to try surfing.

Why not?

It takes courage.

How fast should we go?

03/28/2016 / Laura

The “Low Tire Warning” light came on my car a few days ago. Because I was across town from where I live, I had to keep driving. Nothing felt odd; when I stopped I could not see a problem. So I went on. And later, I ran another errand.

Then I actually sat down and read the owner’s manual, which of course shook its finger at me and said you idiot, you shouldn’t be driving on these tires until they are checked for a nail, slow leak, or the beak of a mynah bird embedded in the treads.

I made the appointment at the tire center, and one morning, I drove my car there. Luckily I only had to go about two miles. But now armed with new caution, I drove more slowly than I normally would.

Translation: I actually went the speed limit.

And the reaction of other drivers was really interesting. Here I am, in the slow lane, going the speed limit. Here they are, puling up behind me so fast they look like they’ve been shot out of a cannon, slamming on their breaks and barely missing me as they pull into the fast lane and hit the gas.

Now if this was rush hour, or we were on a busy expressway, I would get it. But we are on a quiet residential road, and there wasn’t any traffic. Yet my going the (gasp!) speed limit was clearly an offensive act.

I confess I usually am a bit over the speed limit myself. But I do not tailgate people in the slow lane. I’m not real happy about being behind slow people in the “fast” lane, but I still don’t tailgate. I can’t afford it.

I couldn’t help but wonder where these people were going that fast. What was happening to their blood pressure as they sped past me? What kind of mood did their own aggressive act put them in for the rest of the day?

What is that important?

I’m at a point in my boomer life where I’m looking at the highway stretched before me, and the distance to the end is getting shorter. There aren’t as many exit ramps or scenic overlooks. I worry that I’m missing things.

That I won’t realize when I should go off-road and take a break.

Or see the sights.

Or just get out and stretch.

Because literally, I won’t be passing this way again on the road of life, at least not in this form.

Sometimes those feelings make me go faster. Sometimes they make me slow down. Days go by so fast. Seasons are a blur. In my mind, there’s still all this “time” to do so many things. Yet I’m realizing that’s not really true. If I want to do something, go somewhere, try something new I had better do it now.

It can be very daunting, can’t it? Which path do I take. Which broken relationship do I repair, and which is better left alone. Which new road is worth my time and energy to explore. Like Yoga Berra said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

So which lane do we get in? And what about the other “warning” lights?

“Caution: you just passed up a potential new love.”

“Danger: put down the candy bar and go to the gym.”

“Beware: your hair may suddenly make a u-turn.”

Maybe, like my car, we just make stops when we need to, refuel, repair, and keep going. Because like my very inconsistent GPS, we never really know where the road is leading. There could be a detour just ahead. But one thing we do know: it sure feels good to keep going.