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Walking Through the Fear.

03/14/2016 / Laura

Nobody like to talk about being scared. Is that because we don’t think we are supposed to be scared anymore, now that we’re all grown up?

When we were little, it was okay to admit something might be hiding underneath the bed. Or the Ferris wheel was just a bit too high for our liking. Or that weird-looking insect that just jumped on our leg made us feel uneasy.

But what about now? Especially since as boomers and beyond, our fears are usually a whole lot more menacing….

Cancer. Bankruptcy. Losing a spouse. Surgery. No retirement fund. Nephews, nieces, and grandchildren serving in combat.

Dying.

I doubt if anyone enjoys being scared, but I can’t believe we don’t all share that emotion from time to time. And it’s sneaky. We think we’re mad because the traffic is slow, or the dog just ate the newspaper, or our boss just asked us to do the impossible. When really, deep down, we’re afraid.

Afraid we can’t handle it. Afraid we’ll look bad. Afraid we’ll fail.

It always reminds me of the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. First there’s one. Then another one shows up. Then all of a sudden they are everywhere, swooping down and carrying me off to the land of despair. What began as a simple worry can escalate to global termination if I’m not careful. Why is that?

I don’t want to give fear that much power over me. I’m amazed how it can make my stomach queasy. Give me dry mouth. Make me feel tense and rigid. It messes with my mind and my composure. It’s one thing if you are literally staring at your fear—say, a hungry mountain lion. But it’s another when you know your mind has latched on to some worry and has inflated it to such levels that you can’t think straight.

So you stop. Take a breath. Pray to your guardian angel to lend a hand.

Try not to get on the phone and chew out some unsuspecting telemarketer.

Years ago, I was in Yosemite National Park, and was challenged to walk up a very steep rock (shaped like a giant mound, but high enough to make me nervous). I’m not a fan of heights. I can tell myself everything’s okay, but I still feel my heart racing and my stomach talking to me. But I trudged on, because another person volunteered to hold on…and gave me some advice. He suggested I just stand still and feel all the fear and let it wrap around me, then take another step, and another. I did so.

I confess it did help, though I won’t say I’m not scared of heights anymore. Still, sometimes I call upon that advice when other, more threatening fears appear on the horizon.

Like waiting on lab test results. Or wondering if I made a wrong turn when mapping out my life.

Maybe some day I won’t be afraid. But for now, I’m going to cut myself some slack and hope others do the same for themselves. Emotions are supposed to be felt. Even fear is telling us something.

It reminds us we are alive. And no matter what our age, we’re still very young spirits.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Fit After 50.

03/07/2016 / Laura

Let’s talk about balance.

Not the kind that we never can achieve (balance between home, work, family, sanity), but rather the type of balance that might determine whether or not we can stay independent as we age.

Whole body balance. Balance that improves as we become physically stronger. Balance that keeps us walking straight, feeling healthy and hopefully, in our own homes as long as possible.

Why is balance so important for boomers and beyond? Because by the time most of us hit 50, we’ve lost 15 to 20% of our strength.

Imagine. Just that statistic can explain why you’re having trouble carrying in the dog food. Or walking up the stairs with laundry. Or having to sit down to put on your pants.

Ouch.

But the good news is how quickly a healthy person in his or her 60s can gain muscle…as much as two to three pounds of muscle in six months to a year.

Here’s the catch: you have to actually get up and work out. That does not necessarily mean you have to become Mr. or Ms. Olympia, or walk into a hard-body gym and feel intimidated next to the 20-somethings in their spandex.

Thank heavens more and more places are springing up that cater to those of us 50 and over who want to get in shape and feel better, but don’t want the traditional gym experience.

One such place is Welcyon. There’s only a few so far in the country and already, response has been great.

What makes Welcyon so popular? It’s smaller, calmer, and feels more plush than a regular rec center or gym. The staff is small, knowledgeable, and welcoming. And the equipment is specially geared for a workout that while it feels smoother and easier, is actually more effective at building strength than the traditional heavy-plate method.

And best of all, it’s for 50+. Thank heavens. No flipping monster tires or hurling a sledgehammer or other activities that are too high risk.

Daniel Mason, owner of the Welcyon in Lakewood, Colorado, explains. “Our strength equipment uses air resistance, not clunky weight stacks. The result is a challenging workout that actually works you harder, but doesn’t stress your joints and ligaments like a traditional machine. With air resistance, you are working your body evenly…instead of your stronger side compensating and throwing you off balance.”

Cardio machines at Welcyon are also air-driven, so the motion is smooth and even.

But what really sets the technology of Welcyon apart is this: once you’ve been assessed by one of the center’s professional coaches and your routine is determined, all you have to do on your next visit is insert the card into a reader on the machine and you’re set to go. The equipment…lets says it’s the machine that works your abdomen…”recognizes” you and automatically sets to the correct number of pounds you are working. If there is a seat adjustment, it lists that information so you can do it quickly and easily. Of course you can raise or lower the intensity of your workout at any time…but how cool is that? Instead of walking in and trying to remember what you’ve been doing, or struggling with changing a setting, it’s all done for you.

I personally love that. I confess I’ve discovered Welcyon and am a member. And I love it. Why?

It’s comfortable. I like walking into an environment where mature people are focusing on feeling better and getting stronger, as opposed to competing.

It’s inviting. Welcyon gyms are smaller. There’s a soothing water feature. Everything is new and clean and purposeful. There’s a sitting area for socializing. The background music is very low, and it’s a surprisingly wonderful blend of boomer, big band, and a bit of classical.

It’s smart. Each strength machine greets you by name, sets your resistance, counts reps and adjusts your workouts, making them progressively more challenging as you improve. The ellipticals have a built-in fan (I really love that). You feel like you are making efficient use of your time when you are there.

It’s safe. Welcyon coaches know what they are doing and how to guide you, whether you’ve exercised your whole life, are just starting out, or are recovering from an injury. There’s a dedicated area for stretching after working out to help keep you from overdoing. There’s even an interesting balance “clock” on the floor that helps develop your all-important reflexes.

It’s motivating. I want to go to Welycon. I’ve worked out my whole life off and on, with personal trainers, in classes, doing just about everything…and I always liked how it made me feel, but I never particularly looked forward to going. This feels different…I like the idea of exercising around others over 50.

But this isn’t really about going to a particular gym. No matter where you live or what type of exercise experience is available, you can get stronger…it’s so important. Many recreation centers offer classes for people over 50. You could start one of your own. If nothing else, gather a few neighbors and start a brisk walking program in the neighborhood. Go by a sporting goods store and check out the free weights or kettle balls. Be careful…and start slow…but don’t just sit there…get up and get moving.

Exercise has been called the “fountain of youth” because nothing else has been proven to be as effective when it comes to enhancing our overall health and longevity. I know for me, I have fewer aches and pains when I’m regularly exercising. I sleep better. I think better. I like the feeling of being steady on my feet and knowing I can pick up something, hold my balance in Tai chi, carry a child up the stairs, etc.

You might start out saying “can I do it?”

Chances are in no time you’ll be saying “how far can I go?”

“I don’t care how old I live; I just want to be LIVING while I am alive!”

Jack LaLanne

Time to laugh.

02/29/2016 / Laura

We need laughter. Especially this year. So why not take a break and chuckle?

After all, here’s what happens when you laugh:

Laughter can cause the tissue that forms the inner lining of blood vessels to dilate and expand and thus increase blood flow
Laughter boosts immune systems
Laughter increases your pain tolerance
Laughter exercises your facial, abdominal and chest muscles
Laughter improves the function of your brain

Need we say more? Let’s let some funny people do it for us:

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” Henny Youngman

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” Jerry Seinfeld

“If banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?” Alan King

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.” George Carlin

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams

“Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace.” Anonymous

“She said she was approaching 40, and I couldn’t help but wonder from what direction.” Bob Hope

“Housework won’t kill you, but why take the chance?” Phyllis Diller

“If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.” Mel Brooks

“I still feel 30, except when I try to run.” Bob Newhart

Who are your favorite funny people? Please share…we need to keep laughing!

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

Robert Frost

Feeling left behind?

02/22/2016 / Laura

There’s a lot of great things about growing older.

But there’s some tough stuff as well, like losing more people every year. People in your family. A spouse. Friends. Co-workers and past acquaintances.

Whether it’s the finality of death or a phone call that tells you someone has a terminal disease.

That just can’t be.

She’s not old enough.

He was just about to retire.

We went to school together.

She’s younger than I am.

How old does that make me??

It’s natural to feel some fear when you get news like this. It’s also natural to take a hard look at yourself, and then feel guilty because it’s supposed to be about them, not you.

Yet it is about you…and me…and how strange it is to age on the outside and yet still feel 25, 35, 45 on the inside.

I had a 93-year old neighbor once who was legally blind but every bit as alive and involved as she had always been. Her smile was a welcome sight every day. Yet she confessed to me that it was getting harder and harder because she had outlived everyone…her friends, her post loves, her anchors. I didn’t get it totally then, but I’m starting to now.

It feels like we’re all in lifeboats bobbing up and down at sea, holding hands, getting through all the storms and high waves together. Then more and more of our fellow life travelers fall in the water, disappearing, and the chain is not as strong as it used to be. Hey now, hang on a minute.

We’re all supposed to get through this together. We’re supposed to make it to the other side together. Don’t leave me!

It’s even hard when famous people die, if we’ve identified with them our whole lives and they’ve become a part of how we experience each day. A singer who helped us escape the rigors of teenage angst. A sports figure that inspired us to work out harder because he or she never gave up. An author whose words pulled us through a life crisis.

Now they are gone, and we are left to fend as best we can. It can make me feel more exposed and vulnerable at times. And yet, I’m guessing what’s really happening is we are left with the essence of who we are…and sometime’s that a good thing. To “meet” ourselves without any filters or escape hatches.

All the people we have known, loved, liked, respected, or even disliked help shape who we are…and now as boomers and beyond, who we have become. But they are just part of the picture.

Depending upon your belief, you may take solace in that you will remain connected with them for eternity, that this is not a final goodbye. (That’s my belief, and in a few cases, I’m ready to really make sure they understand what they meant to me!) Knowing that can help ease the pain, and underscore how tight some bonds can be.

Here’s some nice words from the late poet A.R. Ammons:

In View of the Fact

The people of my time are passing away: my wife is baking for a funeral, a 60-year-old who

died suddenly, when the phone rings, and it’s Ruth we care so much about in intensive care:

it was once weddings that came so thick and fast, and then, first babies, such a hullabaloo:

now, it’s this that and the other and somebody else gone or on the brink: well, we never

thought we would live forever (although we did) and now it looks like we won’t: some of us

are losing a leg to diabetes, some don’t know what they went downstairs for, some know that

a hired watchful person is around, some like to touch the cane tip into something steady,

so nice: we have already lost so many, brushed the loss of ourselves ourselves: our

address books for so long a slow scramble now are palimpsests, scribbles and scratches: our

index cards for Christmases, birthdays, Halloweens drop clean away into sympathies:

at the same time we are getting used to so many leaving, we are hanging on with a grip

to the ones left: we are not giving up on the congestive heart failure or brain tumors, on

the nice old men left in empty houses or on the widows who decide to travel a lot: we

think the sun may shine someday when we’ll drink wine together and think of what used to

be: until we die we will remember every single thing, recall every word, love every

loss: then we will, as we must, leave it to others to love, love that can grow brighter

and deeper till the very end, gaining strength and getting more precious all the way. . . .

Life is precious. Grab it with all the might you have and celebrate your spirit, your soul, and your passion for living. Do it for yourself, and those who have moved on to a higher being. Rock that wrinkle!!!