Rock The Wrinkle

Page 37 of 54

Clothes for 50+: Where are they?

05/02/2016 /

Okay, clothing retailers, listen up.

I don’t care if you create clothing for the office, the beach, the gym, the couch, or any other use…for women or men…you have some explaining to do.

Why is it that an average-sized woman, let’s say a 10 or 12, goes to the store to try and find something and discovers that suddenly, even the extra large does not fit her?

Or a man who is a bit taller than average and maybe has a normal physique plus a few extra pounds finds himself having to check out the big or “hefty” section?

Half frame003bWhere are the clothes that fit us…those of us who are not size 2? Are there really millions of people so pencil-thin they can wear skin-tight clothing and smile?

Odd. I sure don’t see them at the movies.

Or in the grocery store.

Or walking their dogs.

Or in a business meeting.

What I do see is a whole generation of people over 50 who are healthy, active, and yes, probably have a mid-section a bit larger than when they were 25.  Guess what. It happens.

And it’s perfectly okay.

We still need to wear clothes. We’d still like to look nice…attractive…even sexy at times. And we’d like to do it all and still be able to exhale.

So where are we supposed to go for an outfit?

I find it most annoying when I’m trying to find so-called “active wear” that actually lets me be active without passing out from strangulation. You know, loose pants for yoga. Soft, breathable materials for T-shirts that have actual sleeves. Exercise shorts that don’t cut off circulation.

I mean, like many boomers and beyond, I’m trying to tone myself and be stronger…so why are there no clothes that understand this?

Excuse us for living. We’re over 50. We’re a major force when it comes to retail sales.

And we’re getting tired of being ignored.

I have no desire to try and look 25. I don’t have the energy. I celebrate my wrinkles, gray, and extra rolls that come with normal aging. But I also am not ready to cut holes in a gunny sack and head out the door. And sorry, but I know I’m not an extra extra large. And even if I were, I would expect you, Mr. Clothier, to want to help me look as good as I can.  And quite frankly, I think you’re failing.  Because most of the clothes I see that I guess are aimed at me are  either unwearable, or flat-out ugly.

And this whole skinny jeans craze is not a healthy message to women or men….to look so thin that you disappear. To be ashamed you can’t get in a size zero. (Now if you are very thin naturally, or you are struggling with an eating disorder, God bless you. You also deserve to look as good as possible. But that’s not the point here.)

wi9yf7kTQxCNeY72cCY6_Images of Jenny Lace Plasticity Publish (4 of 25)I call upon all the brands….Nike, REI, Liz Claiborne, Charter Club, Everlast, Prana, and others, as well as men’s fashions…don’t ignore us. Don’t ask us to be something we’re not.  Go out on a limb and come up with some “active boomer” clothes….and I don’t mean what June and Ward Cleaver wore. I’m talking comfort.  Style.  And realistic sizes.

Help us want to be seen. So we can exercise. Travel.  Laugh.  Live.  And yes, spend money on your products.

We’re rocking the wrinkle.  You can too.  And you’ll be glad you did.

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”

     P.J. O’Rourke

Are you who you are?

04/25/2016 /

At this point in our boomer and beyond lives, it’s safe to say our personalities are pretty set. Whether we realize it or not, we project how happy we are, how generous or selfish we are, and how positive or negative we are. Granted, we might have an occasional epiphany or revelation that stops us in our tracks, but for the most part, we are a specific person—and others know us by this.

Then again, is this who are we really? Is this who we really were meant to be?

87Without getting too crazy, think about it this way: are you the man or woman that society, your parents, your spouse and your boss expects you to be?   When deep down, there’s a rebel dying to get out….

An artist straining to break free and do something unique….

An adventurer who wants to throw caution to the wind and roam the world….

A peaceful counselor who’d rather negotiate that join in the regular family fight….

 A contemplative who much prefers solitude and a pen and paper to raucous family get-togethers….

 And if you’re not letting that inner person shine through now, when will you?

Professor, writer, and mythologist Joseph Campbell says “the heroic life is living the individual adventure.” Here are some of his thoughts:

“If what you are following is your own true adventure, if it is something appropriate to your deep spiritual need or readiness, then magical guides will appear to help you. If you say, ‘Everyone’s going on this trip this year, and I’m going too,’ then no guides will appear. Your adventure has to be coming right out of your own interior. If you are ready for it, then doors will open where there were no doors before, and where there would not be doors for anyone else. And you must have courage. It’s the call to adventure, which means there is no security, no rules.”

Picture a 70+ year-old man who decides he wants to hike the Appalachian Trail, and his children think he’s crazy.

Or a 65-year-old woman who sells her possessions and joins the Peace Corps because she’s always wanted to teach children how to sew.

Or something as simple as deciding you don’t like playing bridge every Thursday. Or wearing your hair the same old way (maybe a purple stripe?) Or being expected to watch the grandkids on the beach when in fact, you’d like to try surfing.

Why not?

It takes courage.

file0001976741550More from Joseph Campbell:

 “What this represents psychologically is the trip from the realm of the conscious, rational intentions into the zone of those energies of the body that are moving from another center: the center with which you are trying to get in touch….there will come more aids, as well as increasingly difficult trials. You have to give up more and more of what you’re hanging on to. The final thing is a total giving up, a yielding all the way. This is a place directly opposite to your life experiences and all that you’ve been taught in school….

 

“You enter the forest

at the darkest point,

where there is no path.

 

“Where there is a way or path,

It is someone else’s path.

 

“You are not on your own path.

 

“If you follow someone else’s way,

you are not going to realize your potential.”

 

 

Uh oh. You mean all this time, I’ve been playing a role, fitting in, squashing what really matters and not really living life as who I was meant to be?

Pretty scary stuff. Of course, for some, the risk is too great. Rather than risk public scorn or awkward silences with friends and relatives, they just continue on, leading lives of quite desperation a la Thoreau.

After all, why stick your neck out….what upset the cart….aren’t we too old to change?

No. Not if we truly want to.

And for sure, not if there’s something inside of us that yearns to come out.

 That’s always been the premise behind Rock The Wrinkle. To celebrate who we are, and have the courage to break free from stereotypes and expectations and live every moment to the fullest. Take a chance. Risk failure, or maybe just look foolish. But be true to our ourselves.

We’ve waited a lifetime for this freedom.

So if you can, find some quiet and really listen to what’s going on inside. Because that voice is your voice…and this is your time.

 

“Follow your bliss.”

Joseph Campbell

Tired…or exhausted?

04/18/2016 /

It’s so easy sometimes to just give in to being tired.

Whatever it is you, Mr. or Ms. Baby Boomer, are facing that requires a burst of energy…you’ve done it so many times before. You’ve walked that path. Fought that battle. Thought it through a hundred times.

And you’re just weary.

It can even be a good thing. Like a 4-mile walk that will make you feel great. Or a new book club meeting that might introduce you to some new friends. Or finally tackling the garage and actually discovering what’s hiding behind the golf clubs.

It would be so much easier to just sit on the couch with the remote!

How did we get here so quickly? It wasn’t that long ago we were enjoying jam-packed weekends and evenings of fun without a thought to what time the Boston Legal reruns come on.

Younger friends give us a quizzical look when we say things like, “It starts kind of late, doesn’t it?” Or “You know, I can do one or the other, but probably not both.”

Or my favorite, “You’re younger than me, you’ll understand one day.”

And they will.

DSC02021But still…sometimes I’m not sure how I feel about this. I do think it’s okay to pace ourselves now that we are boomers and beyond. We have spent a great deal of energy just dealing with life, and it’s okay to cut back. I’m seeing friends who perhaps have pushed themselves too hard for too long and their health is sending them a serious message:

Take it easy. Take a breath. There’s no race. There’s no hurry.

The real challenge is probably to know where the line is, between stopping to smell the roses (haven’t we earned that?) and becoming permanently affixed to the furniture.

Some days are better than others. Some seasons are more motivating than others. Being selective with our energy and our attention is a smart thing…something we older types know all about. And there’s physical reasons at play as well.

Maybe we’re not sleeping well. Taking medications that make us drowsy. Dealing with chronic pain or mobility issues. Even being bored can make you feel tired.

The National Institute on Aging offers these suggestions if you feel fatigue is getting the best of you:

  • Respect your body clock. If you are better in the a.m., then don’t tackle a mentally draining task in the late afternoon.
  • Eat fish. Not only is this good for your heart, but omega-3 oils can boost alertness.
  • Get your rest. Either go to bed earlier, or take a quick nap in the afternoon.
  • Drink lots of water. Dehydration is bad for lots of ways, but also can decrease your ability to concentrate.
  • Exercise regularly. You might see improvements in appetite, energy, and outlook.
  • Don’t smoke. It’s a drain on your energy.

file000143069688All that said, you might just need a period of downtime…especially following a stressful career, death of a loved one, extended traveling, or any other challenge that required all you had to give.

So be gentle to yourself.

But don’t sit on that couch too long.

 

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”

                                    Lily Tomlin.

Springtime for boomers

04/11/2016 /

Spring is here, and summer’s a heartbeat away.   Everyone’s looking forward to warm sunshine, cool evenings, barbecues, and vacations. Finally, you will be able to store the baggy sweat pants and fleece jackets and opt for short-sleeved shirts, shorts, and sandals.

Or will you? Does the thought of that make you wince?

Body image. It’s a touchy subject, especially as we get older. In our minds, (or at least in mine), we are permanently 38-46 years old, and a new pair of shorts or sandals is very appealing. It reminds us of picnics, baseball, and fresh green grass.

Then it happens…we look at ourselves in the mirror and wonder…

What happened to my legs?

 Why are there so many strange spots on my skin?

 Can I wear these clothes without everyone staring?

 And my feet…my toes didn’t used to look like this…are sandals impossible?

IMG_0130And don’t even bring up swimwear. Male or female, we often spend too much time before a mirror playing our least favorite game of hesitate and debate. Can I?  Should I?  Will I?

What if we all decided we are just okay, that we have earned every wrinkle, stretch mark, and hammer toe. We don’t live in Hollywood (at least not most of us) and we don’t have a makeup crew ready to make sure we look our most fabulous self every time we step out the door.

We’re real people. We’re over 50. And we’re hitting the beach!

Having a negative body image is more than annoying. It can hurt our health. It can lead to depression and anxiety. It can make us want to cut off interactions with others, whether it’s a day at the beach or going to the gym or any other activity that puts us around others. It can lead to eating disorders.

Maybe it’s finally time to toss out the idea that there is one ideal weight, shape, skin color, or hair color for everyone—we’re a mixed basket, which makes life wonderful. And that’s true for men as well as women.

What’s really hard is when you heard negative comments about your body when you were growing up. I think those are some of the deepest wounds and they can take a lifetime to heal. Even if you look in the mirror now and know that you’ve changed, and you’re no longer that child with thick glasses or braces or whatever your pain point was, you can still feel that way when you walk through a crowded room or enter a family reunion.

But we really aren’t the same…we’re older, wiser, and we know our true beauty, talent, and value lies within. We’ve learned exterior looks are fleeting. And we’ve probably seen many former classmates who were “most likely to” fall far short from their much heralded potential. (And while we’re not supposed to enjoy that, it can be hard not to sometimes.)

Maybe it comes down to rebooting our thinking.

168HSome studies show that when people focus simply on changes in eating and activity, and NOT on weight or size, they achieve much greater and long-lasting results. They start to feel better. They are healthier. They’re not running to the scales every day or staying inside when everyone else is heading to the pool.

They also do not compare themselves to others, and they spend more time with people who approach food and activity in a positive way. They talk to their children and grandchildren about loving themselves and not letting television or the movies convince them they should have different hair or noses or other body parts.

And maybe most importantly, they talk to themselves differently.

No more of this critical talk in front of a mirror.   You wouldn’t say these things to a friend. Why would you say it to yourself?

Granted, staying physically fit and active is so important to a long and healthy life.  Try tai chi.  Do some yoga.  Walk around a track.  If there’s a gym like Welcyon (for people 50 and better) in your area, drop by and see what they’re doing.  Don’t let the couch become your best friend.  But through it it all, don’t think you have to hide your gray hair or your wrinkles.

More and more, we hear and see boomers and beyond embrace who they are and live their lives with full gusto. It can be as simple as going sleeveless. Putting on a bathing suit. Brushing their hair and celebrating the white patches.

Donning bicycle shorts and taking that hill (no one, of any age, looks good in those anyway).

Spring is a time for everything to reach up to the sun and celebrate life. And that includes us!

“If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.”

            Erma Bombeck

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Rock The Wrinkle

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑