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Being safely who we are.

Who   am I , really?  Am I not you?

Are you not me?

Are we not one and the same…beings who are essentially spirit, trying our best to love, live, breathe and make the most of our lives?

Is it ever fair to judge anyone?  To decide that we somehow know what is right, what is normal, and to judge others as coming up short?

I am but one person.  As are you. As each of us is.

IMG_0611 - Version 3Living, breathing, human.  Each doing his or her best.  Each just wanting to have a life.

To love.  To laugh.  To cry.  To make each day count.

How can it be okay for anyone to try and take that away?

I believe each person deserves to live life as fully and completely as anyone else.  I don’t have to agree with who they are.  I do not consider myself qualified to pass judgement on them.  Just as the ignorant and hateful have their rights, so do the loving and the peaceful.  In whatever color, form, or orientation they come in.

I am wearing a safety pin.  Its meaning is “you are safe with me.”  Whatever your religion.  Sexual orientation.  Color.  Whatever makes you who you are.

It’s okay.

We need not fear.

Because fear is why bad things happen.

We are too strong for that. I am too strong for that.  I will not let anyone rob me of my peace.

Take a moment.

Breathe.

Remember all your wisdom.  Your grace.  Your beliefs.  Your spirit.

All your life.  Now. You have been working toward getting to this place.  And now is your time.

file000143069688Don’t let anger, fear, or discord lead you astray.

Go within.  Seek your truth.

Life is short.  Let the ignorant rave.  They will not last long.

You are immortal.  Love is immortal.

Peace be yours.

 

“Best be yourself, imperial, plain and true!”

Robert Browning

“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.”

    Goethe

 

 

 

Say BOO! to Aging

scream-cartoon-painting

Halloween’s almost here. Ghosts, goblins, fattening candy, black cats running for their lives…so what are we afraid of?

Aging.

Yep, many of us over 50 are afraid of aging. We don’t like to talk about it. But it’s there…lurking in the closet with our sexy shoes we can’t wear anymore, hiding in the medicine cabinet with the pain relievers and hair growing tonic we don’t want to admit we have, and stalking us when we have to find our glasses to read the small (and sometimes large) print.

The more we shy away from it, the bigger the fear grows. Maybe if we don’t look at it, it will go away. Then again, maybe not.

How about we turn on the light and see what’s really there?

•  Fear of losing our minds. Dementia and Alzheimer’s are very real, and not pleasant. I know firsthand what it’s like to watch an aging parent go through this frightening forest so I do not diminish the importance of catching early warning signs and seeking treatment as soon as possible.

Yet, it’s not a good idea to just decide if you’re growing older, your mind won’t be as sharp. Studies show that it’s basically a case of we have too much information in our brains by the time we reach the 60+ years, so some of it is going to fall away, or at least be harder to remember. Science further has shown that older folks do a better job of assessing the “big” picture and arriving at solutions than the younger set.

You’re feeling better already, aren’t you?

• Fear of becoming physically frail. Granted, the years take their tolls on joints, muscles, bones. But if you stay active and incorporate weight training into your exercise regimen, you can build muscle your entire life. You can reduce your chances for major diseases. You can lift your mood and find it easier to get up and get going in the morning.

People who are lifelong fitness buffs have always known this. Science is catching up and telling people don’t give up…get up and do something. Now.

• Fear we’ll be alone. Are you alone now? Would you like more friends? Don’t let fear keep you on the couch. Walk around the block if you can. Drop by an art museum. Volunteer: it’s not only a great way to meet people, it’s been proven to be physically good for you. Join a discussion group at a local library. Mentor a young person in your career.

Having friends of all ages is (once again) not only a good idea for your brain, it’s also a key component of healthy aging. We need each other.

• Fear we will actually look old. Yes sports fans, it happens. Wrinkles. Age spots. Saggy skin. You can lock yourself in the closet. Or wear a gunny sack. Or, you can get out there and be proud you are alive—and every mark on you tells a story. Movie stars get plastic surgery, have a team that spends hours making them look better, and sit in perfectly lit sets so they seem ageless. They aren’t.

Personally, I’d rather use all that energy to hike a trail or laugh at the wrong time. At this age, we should all know and embrace how beauty really is within and wrinkles just show more smiles.

This Halloween, let the kids put on the costumes and scare one another. We can sit back and enjoy it all…and know that we are just fine as we are. Growing older and better…and rocking that wrinkle!

“The fears we don’t face become our limits.”

        Robin Sharma

 

Don’t vote for hate.

This post first ran in February.  I honestly didn’t think the election dialogue could get worse.  I was very wrong.  What’s happened to civility?  Here it is again, but with some needed edits.

Mother always said if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything.

Designing Women’s Julia Sugerbaker said if you can’t say something nice about someone, come sit next to me.

In today’s political climate, it seems to be required to say nasty things, especially if there is no basis in fact. Say it loud. Say it with an air of arrogance. Say it with a smirk on your face and look right in the camera.  And it seems, say with no regard for vulgarity, lewdness, or harm to others.

DSC02021How did we get this way?

Learningmind.com is an interesting website that considers all kinds of thought-provoking ideas. When I ran across one of the site’s posts about human behavior, I thought it most appropriate for these scary political times. Here are some thoughts from Learning-mind.com:

Interesting facts about human behavior.

  • People with high levels of testosterone get pleasure from the anger of others.
  • People with low self-esteem tend to humiliate others.
  • People sincerely believe their negative opinions about others are truthful and have no connection with them. 
  • People tend to commit immoral acts or do not fulfill someone’s request for help if no effort is needed and they do not have to face that person directly.
  • Lying takes a lot of mental effort. So as a result, a liar uses simple sentences and finds it more difficult to cope with mental tasks.

And (need I even have to say this?) talking—boasting—about sexual assault isn’t cool.  Funny.  Harmless.  Or just “locker room talk.”

IT’S WRONG.

Anyone coming to mind???

There’s room for disagreement in every situation. Discussion and compromise are what made this country, and many others, great. We don’t have to agree on anything.

But couldn’t we keep the conversation civil?

Couldn’t we agree that at the end of the day, we need to work together for the greater good?

It sure seemed like we used to know how to do that. As boomers and beyond, we remember that it’s never been easy to bring people together. I wasn’t around then, but I’m sure there were many people who didn’t like what Franklin Roosevelt did, but they agreed something major needed to be done during the Great Depression. The Cold War was a volatile challenge that sparked lively debate. Every political figure has his or her fans and detractors.

But it just seems that in the past, there was a realization that what mattered was the outcome…the people’s welfare.

Not any one person’s ego.

Not any one person’s religious beliefs.

People change. Times change. We live in a very different society, one where everything a public figure says or does is immediately in front of us. I just wish that rather than that causing the worst to be out there all the time, the opposite would happen.

Maybe think a little more about what you say. Actually check the facts (no, not Fox “news”, not a liberal website, not Facebook.) Investigate. Ask questions. Give it some consideration. Invite a discussion.

Respect those who do not agree with you IF they deserve your respect..  Do not blindly follow someone after they have offended a religion, women, those with disabilities, other cultures, or any other group.  Distance yourself and fast.

file8961250911676I so hope cooler minds prevail and the hatefulness that seems to be filling the airwaves dies down to a whisper. We’re all in this together. Let’s remember every thought that comes in our mind does not have to come out of our mouths.

Maybe we can’t stop others from being rude and loud.

But we can stop listening.  And we don’t have to follow.

 

“Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength.”    

     Eric Hoffer

 

More reasons it’s good to be a boomer.

 

photo-1428263197823-ce6a8620d1e1

Naps.

Not chasing the brass monkey.

Remembering The Beatles’ first appearance on the Ed Sullivan show.

Looking through old photo albums.

Revisiting old neighborhoods and seeing how much they’ve changed.

Comfortable shoes.

Friends who remember you when.

New friends who appreciate who you are now.

More naps.

Being able to appreciate excellent books and music.

Not caring about who the latest star is.

Delighting to the wonders of each changing season.

Sitting on a park bench and watching life go by.

Savoring dark chocolate.  Rich coffee.  Exquisite pesto.  Cheetos.

Protecting your time, privacy and boundaries fiercely.

Lifelong pets.

Not dreading Mondays.

Understanding the value of silence.

Letting things fall away that steal your energy.

Laughing more.

Did we mention naps?

“Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.”

       Anonymous

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