Rock The Wrinkle

Page 19 of 54

Gee, do I look that old?

06/11/2018 /

“Gee, he sure has aged.”

 “Wow, she must have had a rough life.”

 “Gosh, when did they get so old?”

 “Wow, she’s got a lot of nerve wearing that at her age.”

 “Does he think no one realizes he has no hair?”

“Why doesn’t she use sunscreen?”

 “I’ll never let myself go like that guy.”

“Rethink that outfit, you’re not a kid anymore.”

“I guess he must be a lot older than me after all.”

 

“What? You mean they are my age????”

 

“But I don’t look that old…do I?”

 “I guess I better think twice before wearing this.”

 “I feel a lot younger than that.”

 “Wonder if others are thinking that about me?”

 “Where did the years go?”

 “Who is this person in the mirror?”

It’s so easy to look at someone else and decide we are older or younger or thinner or fatter or more moisturized or more weather-beaten or whatever…and why? Does it matter?

Isn’t it supposed to be about self-love and self-care? How much more peaceful to accept ourselves and do the same for other boomers and those older…without rating ourselves on an “age scorecard”.

Sometimes I really do forget my age, because inside, I don’t feel a whole lot different than I did 25 years ago. At least it feels that way most days, except when I’ve walked up the stairs 13 times in an hour. Then I confess I can feel every year in my knees. (Actress Betty White, 96, said the secret to her longevity was “a bad memory and a house with stairs.”)

But in my mind, I still look at the world as something to be explored and life as something to be cherished. There are new places to go, new food to eat and new friends to make. So really I think my age is a consideration only when it can get me some cool discounts or spare me from re-experiencing a few of the best- forgotten follies of youth.

IMG_0611 - Version 3It’s when I look at another person in my age range and start comparing myself that trouble can begin.

Of course, advertising doesn’t help. There are few wonderful seniors in television commercials and print advertisements who look like real people and wear their wrinkles proudly. Of course, it’s usually a commercial for a prescription drug, adult diapers, or laxative.

Excuse me, but could we please see a few more people over 50 buying cars? Shopping for clothes? Dining out or cooking a meal? Surfing, hang gliding, exercising, or sailing?

But we all know television isn’t real, right? (It isn’t.) If we feel good enough to try something, then we should go for it, as long as no one’s going to get hurt.

So what if you walk into a yoga class and you think you’re oldest one?

True, you will be invisible to some of the youngsters. But there’s likely at least one thinking, “How cool is this…I want to be like him/her and still be taking care of myself when I’m that age.” And let them wonder what “that age” is.

Or if you’re headed to your 50th high school reunion, just remember:  when you were in high school, you probably thought everyone else was cooler than you.  You quickly learned that was ridiculous, that everyone felt insecure.  That’s probably still true.  At least now, we know it just doesn’t matter what’s on the outside.

So go for it. Learn it. Ride it. Read it. Live it. Don’t worry about your reflection in the mirror.

Chances are, you’ve never looked better.

ROCK that wrinkle!!

 

“The mind is everything.  What you think, you become.”

               Buddha

 

 

 

Keeping your cool.

05/31/2018 /

First, it’s hot.  Just plain hot. Too hot. 

I know it depends on where you live, but chances are, you’re already sweating more than you’d like by now.  And it’s only the first few days of June.  Egads.

Second, it’s harder for us over 50 when it gets this hot.  We tend not to realize we are thirsty as soon as those who are younger, so we have to keep a water bottle with us and drink from it all day long.  Really.  Sip it every few minutes and you might keep from getting dehydrated or at least a blinding headache.  The heat also just makes you feel weak and listless.  You run out of gas halfway through a task (and this is when you are inside, usually in air conditioning).

Listen to your body.  Rest.  Get cool.  Wait until dusk to cut the grass or clean out the trunk of your car.  it’s just not worth it.

But even more than the seasonal heat, everything seems hotter right now.  The air is filled with hateful tweets.  Angry vices take over the news.  Irritating political commercials make outlandish claims and force us to listen to people we would never give the time of day to if we sat next to them at the office.  It all makes you want to find a shady place by a mountain stream and put your bare feet in the water, close your eyes and just feel that gift of peace.

You can’t make people stop spreading their heated words.  But you can turn down their volume.  Or better yet, hit the mute button.

Turn the channel.

Don’t read the angry Facebook post.

Delete the email with the doctored photos.

Walk away from the person who wants to tell you the racist joke, since it seems to all be “okay” these days to mimic very, very very behavior set by those in power.

Turn away.  

Instead, breathe some cool air.  Have some iced green tea.  Listen to your favorite sonata.  Sit with a grandchild in the grass and string together some clover.  Buy a popsicle and sit on your front porch and enjoy it.  Watch the lightning bugs at night.

Take back your summer.  Take it where you want it to go.

Let them rave.  You’ve heard it all before.  Hot air doesn’t last long.  Heated words blow back on those who choose to spread hateful messages.  You know better.

Put down the phone.  You won’t miss anything important.  And you might create some wonderful open moments for other things to happen.

You carry your treasure within.  Let yourself enjoy it.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”

      Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sit still.

05/21/2018 /

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When was the last time you rested?

Really rested?

Turned off the phone?

Did not check for emails?

Did not check social media?

Put away your daily planner?

Sat still?

Opened the windows and listened to the wind?

Sat outside and watched the birds?

Pondered the clouds?

Just breathed?

We must rest.

It’s very important.

It’s when the answers come.

What if we all started right now…..?

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

     Ovid

Doer or waiter?

05/07/2018 /

Which are you?  A doer or a waiter?

A doer takes action.  Decides what needs to be done and starts doing it, or gets out the phone book (gasp) and finds a person who can do it, or goes online and searches for the nearest location, or texts a friend and invites them to lunch and gives them a place and time, or decides the windows are dirty and picks up a rag and cleans them, or realizes he/she doesn’t know how to get to a certain place so he/she goes on Google maps and prints out the directions, or reads the instruction manual/directions/attends the class to learn how something works and how to maintain it, or cures loneliness by initiating get-togethers or just plain understands that happiness is an inside job.

A waiter waits for someone else to make the plans, to call the restaurant, to pick them up, to stand in line, to choose the movie, to go online and find concert tickets, to fix the disposal, to give them information about a subject so they don’t have to do the research, to supply directions to any new destination, to schedule the vacation, etc, etc, etc and feels life should come to them, because after all, they’ve “earned it” or they are too “old” to learn something new.

One is a pleasure to be around.  One isn’t.

I”m not sure where the idea came from that at a certain age, things are just supposed to come to you.  All I can say, is good luck with that.  I’ve not found that to be true.  If you don’t like your job, quit or change your attitude.  If you hate your house, modify it or move.  If you want to be up-to-date on all the latest computer software or surround sound systems with blu-ray, research it online, pick up some electronics magazines or go to a retailer and ask questions.

Older people can still learn.  We aren’t idiots.  And when we shrug our shoulders and say how all this gosh darn newfangled stuff is above us, we are bringing ourselves and everyone else over 50 down to a false low level.

Now if you choose not to learn, that’s your decision. But imagine when you were in third grade and your teacher gave you an assignment to go to the library and read about George Washington…and you told her “Gee, there were so many books, it just made me tired.  So I just decided I couldn’t pick one.  Instead, I figured you would read me one. Okay teacher?”

What do you think she would have said to you?

Learning new things is hard.  Taking the initiative takes energy.  But that’s what separates us from amoeba. And it’s hard enough to get the younger set to see us as equals many times, much less as wise sources of guidance and wisdom, without us throwing in the towel before we’ve even tried.

We are still in the game.  We have the freedom and the ability to create an interesting and rewarding life around us.

So why wouldn’t we??

“Nothing will work unless you do.”

       Maya Angelou

 

 

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