Life is not about the trending fashion. The latest catch phrase. The cute cat video that pops up every 5 minutes.

Life is not how much money you make. Or how you display that with the biggest house, fanciest car, grandest vacation or sparkling gold bracelets.

It’s not who you know.

Where you studied.

Which team you played on.

Life is messy. Unshaven. Interruptive. Inconvenient.

Life is a friend’s house burning to the ground in the middle of the night. Life is someone you love getting a very bad diagnosis and being very scared. It’s sitting up at 3 a.m. wondering how you’re going to put food on the table and also pay a sky-high medical bill. It’s a disabled Veteran in pain spending hours just trying to see a physician.

It isn’t how many likes you get on Facebook.

It isn’t being seen in the hippest new nightspot.

It isn’t parking your gigantic vehicle as close to the door of a business so everyone can see it (and have to walk around it).

It’s remembering that sweet neighbor who now lives in assisted living with no one to visit her or tell her happy birthday. It’s pushing your lawn mower a few yards down the street to cut the grass for someone you don’t know. It’s taking extra flowers with you to a cemetery so you can put some on long-forgotten graves of strangers.

But sometimes, life is also about standing still. Quiet. Taking a breath and not getting even when someone is surprisingly rude to you.

The world around us isn’t very gentle these days. The loudest voices are those who scream their views, who shake their fists, who forget that none of that helps. Too much information. Not enough asking questions, investigating the source, ascertaining the truth.

There’s a disturbing rudeness to the dialog that demeans us all.

We boomers must know better—or at least we should. We’ve seen just about everything in our lives, and we’ve come through it all. For sure we’ve learned that flash and glitz and riches don’t make the tiniest difference when life really happens…when it hurts, disappoints, terrifies or just seems to be moving on without us.

Surely over the years we’ve also learned that listening…really hearing and absorbing what is going on, what is being said or even what is not being said, is much more important than our clever response.

Everyone has a choice about how they go through life, who they help, what they spend their money on, how they interact with those around them. But sometimes, all a person can do to honor someone else is to do nothing…at least in that moment.

Be quiet and let them speak. Let them be different. Let them rave if that will help dispel the rage.

Let them be. Let them live and let live.

Will it change the world? Maybe it will just change your corner of the world. But you can be that ripple in the universe, the butterfly’s wings that affect the entire planet. It has to start somewhere.

It could start with you. With all of us baby boomers.

We have the power to do so much.

And sometimes, we find the courage to do the biggest thing we can do for someone—just be there.

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

Omar Khayyam

“Keep looking up. That’s the secret of life.” Snoopy

Remember how good a newly opened box of Crayons smelled?  How fun it was to have brand new notebooks, pencils, and maybe a cool book bag?  (Or if you were like some of us with overprotective moms, a satchel…functional but highly uncool.)

Still, back to school, even with some butterflies-in-your-stomach dreading, also meant new starts. If you were lucky, new shoes and clothes. New books.  New friends and teachers.  Even as teens and young adults, back to school meant new possibilities and maybe a new direction for your life.  

Of course, not everyone was so fortunate. For many, back to school meant finally getting to eat a few nutritious meals a day.  Sadly, that’s still true today.  I did not have to go to school to eat.  My mother religiously packed a full lunch into a crisp bag or lunchbox (what fun to choose that!) and sent me off.  For me, “getting” to eat the school-prepared lunch on Fridays (cheeseburgers) was a major thrill.  This was elementary school, but even in high school, she still wanted me to take her food to school.

Now as a boomer, when we hear “Back to School,” probably what comes to mind is being careful driving in school zones.  Remembering how much more traffic will be around during morning and evening driving times.  Noting how the summer is nearing an end.  You know, adult things.

But maybe it can also be a time for us to “go back to school.”

What if we did…but maybe we did a little self-teaching?  Or at least sought out smarter minds than ours to relearn a few things?

For example:

Be courteous to others.  Regardless of age, religion, culture, race, education, accent, hairstyle, appearance.

Be generous.  With our time, our blessings, our talents, our resources, our patience, our smiles.

Don’t talk in line.  No grumbling when the person in front of us is having trouble finding the right change.  No heavy sighing when the waitress is taking a long time to get to our table. No shaking our fist at the obviously terrified driver on the interstate that is going to slow.

Be considerate.  Maybe the neighbor with the overgrown lawn just lost a loved one.  Maybe the rude receptionist is worrying about her son who just shipped off to a war zone. Maybe the distracted delivery man just got some very bad news. 

Don’t be wasteful.  Recycle, even if it means you have to drive to the recycling center once a week.  Don’t use so many paper or plastic.  Drink water from a glass.  Turn off the water while you brush your teeth or shave.  Treat Mother Earth as your friend.

Be good to yourself.  Remind yourself you matter.  Do things that make you feel good (and that don’t hurt others).  Treat yourself occasionally.  Go ahead and walk up to that stranger and introduce yourself.  Have some quiet time to just be still. 

There are so many things we could go “back to school” and relearn…you probably have some, please share. 

We’re never too old to learn. 

We’re never too old to teach others. 

Today’s lesson:  we’re never too old!

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

         John Wooden

Like so many in the United States recently, I attended a production of the Broadway musical, “Hamilton.”  To say it was magnificent would be an understatement.  The words, the music, the singing, the dancing, the lighting…everything was enthralling, at least to this observer.  But maybe the best part, or at least what stood out to me, was the joy in the message.

Granted, there are sad parts in the show, but it’s history.  A history of an amazing time when people came together for a cause.  And while there was dissension, there was also a joy.  A joy in what they were doing. 

A joy in not letting anything, including age, get in the way of a goal.

I especially loved the recurring theme from the show of “I won’t give up my shot.”   I think that’s something we all need to hear from time to time. Because many of us 60+ baby boomers can start feeling like we are at the end of the road.  That there’s nothing significant ahead and we don’t have a lot to contribute.  It’s a feeling as though if you could just lie down and nap a bit, it would all be all right….but you never really come out of that “nap.”  You just succumb to a coma of sorts where you go through the motions, but you’re not really living.

You’re not on fire for anything. 

You’re not excited about each day. 

You’re not eager to explore, learn and discover.  To try new things.  To feel the joy that can be yours if you look for it.

We have to fight this foe as hard as any dressed in a uniform or yielding a sword.  And the hardest part is this foe is inside of us.  It’s a happy little blob settled inside our brains and it likes slowly getting its tentacles around our passions, like an old episode of Star Trek.

Enough!

None of us knows how long we will live.  We didn’t know it when we were 25 either.  So we could live to a ripe old 98.  We could meet the maker tomorrow.  And all that we truly have is right now.

Right this second.  That’s our reality.

So we have to get past this idea that time is somehow looming over us like an invading force, trying to squash whatever we want to do. 

No, it’s NOT too late to take up painting.  Always wanted to try ice carving?  Find a class and go.  Dreamed for years of living in Paris for one season?  Do an internet search for a chalet right now.  Wish you could be in love again?  Get yourself out there and flash that smile.  It’s the same one you had at 25. In fact, it’s better.

We all need a purpose…and it’s easy to feel you don’t have one when you have lots of time on your hands. But a purpose can be as simple as making sure to say a kind word every day to a neighbor who recently lost their spouse. Or fostering an elderly dog who’s spent too much time in the shelter. Or even playing brain games with yourself every morning to stay sharp.  A purpose doesn’t have to involve a major change in your life.  Simple is good.

Right now, today, is our “shot”…our opportunity to make something happen.  Or to at least make a plan.  Start researching a topic.  Get out our passports and think of where we want to go.  Clean off the table and get out the paintbrush and canvas.

As the unfortunate man on the cart said ala Monty Python, you’re not dead yet.

Let’s decide we’re not too old…in fact, considering how young we feel inside, maybe our age never really changes.  So our hearts, our zest for life, our joy at “our shot” doesn’t have to either.

Grandma Moses painted her first painting at 76.  Frank McCourt started writing at 65.  People jump out of airplanes in their 80s.  You don’t have to go that far…but you can take a “leap” and put yourself on an exciting new path.  

So take your shot.  Find your joy.  And rock that wrinkle!

“It ain’t over till it’s over.” Yogi Berra