Category: Our good health (Page 12 of 13)

How rudeness hurts us.

04/23/2015 /

Recently I was walking my dog down a sidewalk when a 30-ish woman and her two children on bicycles and a dog approached me, taking up most of the sidewalk. My dog and I moved over as far as we could and just as we were about to pass this small group, the woman’s dog got a bit close and made my dog a bit nervous, so I pulled us even more to the side.

Instead of just passing us, or tightening her leash on her own pet, the woman yelled out in a very loud and very unfriendly voice something quite uncalled for and directed at me.

I was a bit stunned—my dog and I did nothing wrong. We had moved over to let this group pass. Why in the world would she make a public scene…and in front of her children?

Of course I had many responses in my head…things I wanted to say very badly after she walked by. But her children were with her, which stopped me.

 Though quite obviously, that did not stop her.

So many times I see what I consider to be an attack of “entitlement” come over people of a particular age group. (Yes, here I am, someone over 50, shaking my wrinkled finger at someone younger while my teeth fall out.)

Not really.

I just don’t understand.

I’ve never felt entitled, or that the world owed me something, or, that anyone around me should just put up with my pets if they’re acting up. Quite the opposite.

 It used to be called courtesy. Civility. A realization that while I may be special to those who love me, and special to the spirit that created me, I’m not “special” in traffic, crowds, long lines, or at the motor vehicle registration office. I’m just another person.

This seems to be a lost idea.

But wait. Didn’t Tom Wolfe call us boomers the “Me Generation” back in the 1970s? Self-centered and spoiled?

Were we? Are we still?

And is rudeness just what it is…a sign of changes in society that has nothing to do with age? Did our grandparents shake their heads and wonder what had become of manners?

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It really does feel like things are a bit coarser these days, like taking the soft and forgiving road just isn’t done much. I confess to quick irritation when a driver cuts me off haphazardly or someone jumps in line ahead of me. And I’m sure negative breeds negative. And granted, as boomers and beyond, we didn’t grow up with the need (or just the temptation) to constantly be sticking our noses in electronic devices to see stock prices, weather, and funny texts…we actually interacted with those around us.

So being polite was the smart thing to do. And it’s lot easier than being rude.

In fact, according to Psychology Today, rudeness can wreck your health. Talking down to someone. Ignoring a co-worker. Being impolite. When this happens to us on a regular basis, it can lead to anxiety, depression, weight gain, heart disease, sleep problems, and digestive ailments.

And sometimes the rudeness isn’t so blunt. Like when we interrupt each other constantly. Or never show up for a date or social engagement on time. Can’t put down our cell phone when we’re supposed to be enjoying another person’s company. Laugh off another’s anxiety when he or she is revealing a deep hurt.

Research says when we do that, we’re not seeing the other person as an equal. Or we may in fact be so insecure we don’t know how else to act.

I admit I stay confused about some of this…I’ve been around such cordial strangers and seen such acts of kindness. I’ve traveled to cities where I had been warned everyone would be rude, and they were the kindest people I’ve met. And like all of us, I’ve been ignored, disrespected, and left wondering what is ailing the other person.

dioSo maybe it comes down to realizing we don’t know what’s going on with that person; what hurt lies inside; what bad day have they had; why do they choose that behavior. Maybe we will be the only nice person they meet today (this of course assumes we are nice!). Maybe for now, let just have to let them be who they are.

And challenge ourselves to be what we can—the best version of our own self.

 “I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.”

     Rudyard Kipling

 

 

 

 

 

Snow, snow, and more snow.

02/23/2015 /

Shoveling snow.   An activity that truly brings you up close and personal to Nature and all she wants to share with us, especially if you’re a baby boomer and it’s tough on your back.

Where I live now, there’s winter snow….dry, powdery, mercifully light on your arms and shoulders. A good thing especially when your driveway is sloped and your shoes don’t have the best traction.

IMG_0008And then there’s the spring snow…sometime during February or March, the snow becomes wetter and heavier. Everyone will tell you how great spring snow is because it doesn’t stay around long. The roads and grassy areas are warm and it melts quickly. Oh yippee.

But you’re still shoveling.

And shoveling. And shoveling.

Because around here, it can easily snow through May, which it did last year. Thick, wet and heavy, it was very unkind to trees and shrubs that foolishly had thought the coast was clear and already had begun to bloom. Not only was I outside with a rake, jabbing it upwards into trees trying to shake snow off struggling limbs (and getting most of the snow in my face), I was leaning out upstairs windows with broom handles jabbing at the tops of trees that were perilously leaning over.

All in all, it’s exhausting. And I know everyone living in the Northeast U.S. is well over it all.

Of course, they sell “ergonomic” snow shovels, which can be a blessing when your back is worn out from it all. Then there are the snow blowers, which your neighbor often owns, but this neighbor never seems to get outside to use it early enough so you still end up doing your driveway the old-fashioned way.

I remember my father shoveling what seemed to be endless snow when I was a child. No one on our street had any blowers and he probably wouldn’t have let them come over anyway. He was going to do it himself, without resting. Which looking back, wasn’t very smart health-wise.

As we get older it’s okay to do things in short spurts. It’s even more okay to let someone else do it for us. Kindness is a gift, not a statement of age. We’ve done enough of it to last a lifetime—let someone else have a turn. It’s not worth risking back injury, heart attack, or slipping on an icy surface.

Maybe that’s one of the big lessons of winter: putting our well-earned wisdom to work to take care of ourselves.

candlesMaybe another lesson is sitting with ourselves and seeing if we can be quiet, inside, and still sane…even after the days go by.   Not easy.  I can get cabin fever quickly, which triggers food cravings far stranger than a healthy person could imagine.   It’s all part of that don’t-fence-me-in thing:  I’m okay being at home, until I am forced to be at home, then I want to be somewhere else.

Snowfall used to be so much fun when we were kids. It still is to my dog, (though the hair on her feet freezes and we have to dig ice balls from between her toes). I confess it’s lost its luster for me, especially if I have to drive in it. Still, it is often beautiful…especially the next day, (if you’re lucky enough to live where it usually doesn’t snow for days on-end), when it’s just on the tops of the hills, or tip-tops of far-away mountains, and the sky is a breathtaking shade of blue, and the sun makes the snowy ground dazzle like diamonds….

If you’re shoveling, be careful. Be wise. Be patient.

It’s gotta end sometime.

 

“Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.”

          Victor Hugo

 

 

 

 

 

Cruel shoes?

01/29/2015 /

Are you still torturing yourself with uncomfortable shoes?

I’m not just saying this to women, but men as well. Seems many of us are still doing this, though you’d think by now we would know better.

I am a card-carrying member of the plantar fasciitis club, so my days of sexy shoes are over, unless they can handle orthotics. It’s always such fun to try on shoes in a store and have to pull out the footbed that comes with the shoe, whip out my orthotics, and see if I then can get my feet in them. Thank God these days you can actually find attractive shoes that can handle the challenge.

But all those thin, crazy shoes that put women’s feet a vertical position?

Not no way, not no how. And why would I, even if I could?

Turns out, not surprisingly, foot pain and disorders are some of the most common ailments of people over 50. Maybe it’s because some have worn painful shoes their whole lives. Maybe it’s that their shoes don’t fit (podiatrists say this is much more common than you would think).

Maybe some people just think they have to live with pain because they are over 50, 60, 70….etc.

 Pshaw!

Consider the foot. 26 bones. 33 joints. More than 120 muscles, ligaments, tendons and nerves. Your feet get you going. Absorb the shock of hitting the ground with each step. Give you balance.   Let you dance, kick a ball, pick up marbles when you’re bored, stroke a cat’s fur.  Feel the warmth of sand on a relaxing beach. And for me maybe most importantly, let me hike all over beautiful mountain and desert trails.

IMG_0130So why don’t we take better care of them?

I almost can’t look at photos of women wearing the vertical stilettos…it makes my own feet hurt. I sincerely wish more women in the public eye would just go ahead and say, “Look, most women’s shoes are ridiculous. Let’s all admit that, wear something that doesn’t destroy our feet, and move on to what’s really important, like lunch.”   I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Instead, some women just insist on continuing the fantasy. More power to you, but just have the facts. WebMD lists the consequences of wearing these torture devices: knots on the back of the heel, blisters, swelling, bursitis, hairline fractures and more. Even ballet flats can be bad, as they provide no arch support and can lead to knee, hip, and back problems.

 Remember Steve Martin’s “Cruel Shoes”?

 Anna knew She had to have a new pair of shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place.”

“Oh, you must have one more pair….”

“No, not one more… . Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want to try…

“Yes, let me see the cruel shoes!”

“No, you don’t understand, you see, the cruel shoes are…’

“Get them!”

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an ordinary shoebox. He took off the lid and re-moved a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But this was not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.

scream-cartoon-paintingCarlo spoke hesitantly, “… Now you see… they’re not fit for humans…” 

“Put them on me.”

“But…”

“Put them on me!”

Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.

The screams were incredible.

Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.

“I like them.”

She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.

Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place. Unless, of course, you’d like to try the cruel shoes.”

 

And it’s not just women. Some men seem to want to suffer too.

The American College of Foot and Ankle Surgeons say men are also walking in their version of cruel shoes. First, there’s the pointy-toed shoe, which many men are sporting. Great if you enjoy hammer toes bunions and pain.

Then there are men’s sandals, which because many of them do not offer the right support, are causing heel pain, tendonitis, pain in the big toe and stress fractures. The ACFAS recommends men instead choose a sandal with a sturdy, cushioned sole and padded straps. (And if you’re suffering from diabetes, check with your podiatrist before wearing sandals.)

Fashion and style are great. But being comfortable trumps it all and is possible (even for women) without looking like a line repairman. There’s some great looking and truly harmless shoes out there.

I always think of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” when I see someone wearing something I know is killing them, but they just smile and act like all is well as they attempt to walk without falling face first into a fruit stand.

Now that we’re older, and wiser, and our feet have carried this far, can we give them a break?  What’s on your feet?

 “The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.”

                  Leonardo da Vinci

 

Health benefits of Tai Chi.

12/11/2014 /

Chen Fan

(This is the second of a 2-part series on the benefits of Tai chi for anyone over 50.  In Part 1, you heard why Tai chi is the perfect lifelong activity from Certified Tai Chi Instructor  Tim Murphy. Today’s post highlights specific health benefits, and how to get started in Tai chi.)

Tai chi stretches your body, and your organs. It helps align the ligaments that in turn keep your bones aligned properly so you have more support. It reduces pain and increases flexibility. Increasing the qi flow through the body opens up the channels for increased energy and strength.

Emotional and Mental Benefits: Connecting with the qi.

What is qi? One definition is the circulating life energy that in Chinese philosophy is thought to be inherent in all things…an uninterrupted flow is said to be essential for good health. This is where Tai chi comes in: it unlocks the qi.

But what does it mean to “feel” the qi? I can only answer for myself. There are times during a Tai chi movement when I can feel what I will describe as an energy field, usually warm, and very soothing. It doesn’t always happen. Some people never feel it. But many experienced practitioners say that even if you don’t feel the qi, you still are absorbing the benefits of the process.

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For Certified Tai Chi Instructor Tim Murphy, it’s about awareness.

 “Tai chi has made me much more aware of the energy flowing through my body,” says Tim. “It’s proven that we have electrical fields flowing through our bodies, and Tai chi has helped me understand what that means. It’s an awareness of qi; a phenomenon I can get in touch with.

“Tai chi also has helped me become centered. So many of the experiences you have in Tai chi are hard to describe…the feeling you have after you’ve been playing Tai chi for an hour or so. You may be tired, but another part of you is revitalized. And it has a calming effect. Sometimes just that slowing down is so important. It’s so typical of our world and how we work, that we go nonstop and never really relax.

 “With Tai chi, you are taking a period of time for yourself to slow down, which has many positive effects on your body. I’ve had people come into the first Tai chi class and walk out after a few minutes, because there is something inherent in them that prevents them from slowing down. Many Type A people have trouble moving that slow. But I ask: if it’s that hard for you to slow down, maybe this is something that might really benefit you!”

 For many people, the combination of relaxation and concentration doesn’t make sense. I get that, but I can tell you it’s what really drew me in…I knew it would be good for my 50+ brain!

“You can be mentally focused and relaxed,” says Tim. “You’re just focusing on the relaxation.”

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Physical benefits: what research is finding.

  • Blood pressure. Studies have recorded positive benefits for participants dealing with high blood pressure and other cardiovascular conditions. Additionally, research has found Tai chi can improve levels of cholesterol, triglycerides, insulin and C-reactive protein in people at high risk for heart disease.
  •  Immune system. Tai chi decreases the release of catecholamine, a neurotransmitter that dampens the immune system. In one study, three sessions a week for four months enhanced immune cell function by 45% in adults with shingles.
  •  Arthritis. If you suffer from osteoarthritis, you’ll appreciate that Tai chi can help you have less pain and stiffness. I can speak from experience on this: it does reduce pain, even in the hands. The Tai Chi for Arthritis Program developed by Dr. Paul Lam is based on the Sun style Tai chi which helps improve muscular strength, flexibility and fitness.   http://taichiforhealthinstitute.org/how-does-tai-chi-for-arthritis-work/
  •  Balance. Tai chi may improve sensitivity to nerve signals in ankles and knees, which can prevent falls. Practicing Tai chi also has been found to reduce the fear and thus the risk of falling among older adults, even in their 80s and 90s.
  • Osteoporosis. Tai chi may slow bone loss in postmenopausal women and even build bone density.
  • Diabetes. Because movement and exercise are so important in the control of diabetes, Tai chi has been found to be an excellent option for those with diabetes needing to reduce stress, relax, and improve their circulation.
  •  Fibromyalgia. A New England Journal of Medicine study showed that Tai chi reduced pain and fatigue and improved the participants’ ability to move, function physically, and sleep.
  • Parkinson’s disease. Participants in one research study suffering from mild to moderately server Parkinson’s demonstrated improved balance, walking ability and overall well-being after 20 Tai chi sessions.
  • Recovery from stroke, injury, illness. Because Tai chi can help improve strength, flexibility, aerobic endurance and also reduce stress and anxiety, it has proven to be an effective method for recovery from stroke and other trauma.

There is more….much more. But it’s obvious that this is more than a few stretches and poses. This is a holistic approach to lifelong well-being.

Check it out for yourself. Visit the Tai Chi for Health website and read a few of Dr. Paul Lam’s articles. Read more from Harvard Medical School. Ask anyone you know who is a student of Tai chi.

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So how do you get started? Get moving.

Most importantly, start moving. “That’s the key,” says Tim. “Whether you join a class, watch a DVD, or find a video online, just start moving. As you start to delve deeper in the Tai chi forms, you will want to do them correctly, which means finding someone who can guide you. There is something about the human connection between a student and a teacher or mentor that can facilitate your learning.”

Step One: Get moving.

Step Two: Find a class, a DVD, a video or other resource.

Step Three: Develop a relationship with someone who can guide you and answer your questions as you progress, so you can get the most out of what you are doing.

I vouch for locating a certified instructor and a class where you can learn with others, practice what you know, and continue to peel the layers off the Tai chi “onion.”

I predict you’ll start feeling the benefits soon…and Tai chi will be part of your lifelong journey of health.

 

“Peace in ourselves, peace in the world. “

                     Thich Nhat Hanh

 

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