Category: Inner Peace (Page 13 of 20)

Sitting still.

Why can’t we sit still?

Ever have one of those days, maybe on a weekend, when you have worked hard all week, whether at a job or volunteering, gardening, servicing the car, housework or any other intense activity and now, just when you could just sit down and be quiet for a while, you find it hard to do nothing?

You’d think as boomers and beyond we would realize we’ve earned these moments of quiet.  Our bodies need rest.  Our minds need rest.  The phone, the laundry, the clutter can wait a few hours or even days.  It’s strange how quickly we can feel guilty.

Or come up with 10 reasons why we need to jump up and get something done.  If our minds wander, we think we’re “wasting time” when really we might be doing some beneficial day-dreaming.

file000143069688Who knows what great insight could emerge?

Some people bike for miles and miles and then when they reach their destination, they rest for 15 minutes and get right back on the bike.  Or hike all day to a beautiful glacial lake and find it hard to just sit by it and breathe, without checking their watch and heading back in 10 minutes.  Do we think we’re missing something?  Maybe so.

But then maybe, just sitting in the grass with your dog and feeling the breeze on your face might be feeding your soul more than you know.

Modern wisdom is telling us how bad it is to sit for hours at a time at our desks or on the couch.  The advice is to get up every 20 minutes or so and walk down the hall, up some stairs, around the office, whatever.  I think that’s great advice.  But I also think there are afternoons or evenings when a few hours of watching the clouds might be even more beneficial for our circulatory system.

Being still resets natural rhythms. Lets our deeper consciousness work out the tough issues that vex us. Helps us savor good memories and positive experiences.

It’s interesting that as well as sitting still, silence seems to be hard for many people.  In conversation.  In church.  In a car on a road trip.  Some people are just uncomfortable with silence and need to quickly fill it with music, talk, or noise.   Meditation is, for these people, impossible or excruciating.   Yet listen to the list of benefits realized from meditating:  it increases positive emotions, boosts the immune system, decreases pain and decreases inflammation. It’s even supposed to enhance brain functioning and decrease depression.

So maybe we all need to just sit.

A bit.

And breathe.

DSC_0059Summer’s here and for many, provides opportunities for visiting places of natural beauty like the beach, the mountains, the desert, and more.  What if, sometime in the midst of the giggling and playing and socializing, we all found a few moments to just take it in…eyes closed maybe, breathing quiet, ears attuned to the wind, the waves, the birds.

What if we turned off our phone (gasp) and use our minds to take a photo of the scene  and hold it there.

Let everything relax for a minute, and just be.

Just be.

Ahhhhhhhh……………

 

“Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness.”

    Eckhart Tolle

A little wisdom please.

If you’re a boomer and beyond, you’ve learned a lot in your life.  I hope you are still learning.  None of us knows everything, has been everywhere, or experienced everything.  We’re babes in the woods for sure.  Yet for the most part, we are now wise enough to understand that, and admit we know more than we used to, but not all we should.

So in the spirit of how age can be a great teacher, I implore you:  share your smarts.  Be wise around younger people.  Don’t fall prey to all the crazy, ignorant, harmful rhetoric that’s out there right now.

Seriously.  Things are ugly.  Insults are flying and forth. Violence erupts without warming on the highways.  People are shunning neighbors and relatives because their beliefs are so far apart.

Let’s not fuel it any further.  

file000143069688Instead, let’s step back.  Breathe.  Meditate.  Take a walk.  Let a moment pass without making it worse.

We can disagree.  We can decry what’s become of our political landscape.  We can engage in spirited debate.

But let’s stop the hate.  It’s not helping.  And it’s a bad lesson to be passing on to the younger generations.

Your opinions on this message are welcome.  Maybe you have some thoughts on how to calm things down a bit.

Remember The Youngbloods?  Then you’ll remember this song….

 

Get Together

Love is but a song we sing

Fear’s the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Some may come and some may go
He will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment’s sunlight
Fading in the grass

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

If you hear the song I sing
You will understand, listen
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It’s there at your command

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

I said come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Right now
Right now

What do you say?  Let’s give it a shot.  

“For every moment you are angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Greeting Ourselves.

May is traditionally a time of graduation.  It’s also a month that is very unsettled in terms of weather, with winter not wanting to loosen its grip while spring and summer await impatiently backstage for their time to take a bow.  Throw in Mother’s Day for a healthy dose of emotion and you have a period of time that can make you feel a bit unsteady.   Recently, the zigzag of temperatures mixed with the mortar boards flinging in the air made me think back to when I stood on that overlook…wondering where I was going next, what would I become, and had I chosen the right road.

 Back then, it felt like I had forever ahead of me, and I was sure that no matter what path I chose, I would end up in the “right place.”  Since then, I’ve realized it’s not so easy to know which fork in the road is the right one.  More than once along the way it’s felt like I went the “wrong” way and would surely tumble into an abyss.  I’m a baby boomer after all.

I thought I’d be young a lot longer.

OTRAS (3)Lately it’s also felt like maybe part of me split off a long time ago…the part that had all those dreams and ideals and aspirations.  While my practical self waded through jobs, tax payments, mortgages, failed relationships, arthritis, and a few extra pounds, my “real” self was out there, waiting, for me to come to my senses so my “real life” could start.

Crazy.  And exhausting.  Maybe it’s time for the two to come together.

Maybe it’s time to realize they’ve both been in me all along.  I think that’s one of the great joys of growing older:  coming to peace with who we are.  Who we really are.

I ran across a wonderful poem by Derek Walcott that says it so nicely:

Love After Love —by Derek Walcott

The time will come 

when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life.

 

What a nice image.  To greet all you are and have always been with love and acceptance.

To celebrate all of it, good and bad, beautiful and not-so-attractive, smart and foolish.

To welcome.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
        Rumi

Ready to risk?

.

87

You’re over 50. Or well past 60.  You’ve decide to make a change. A big one. Take the new job. Retire. Move to the brand new address across the country or across the world.   Marry someone who doesn’t quite fit your family’s heirloom locket.  Or, (gasp) maybe you’re considering moving back to previous, less glamorous location after several years of living the dream.

And here it comes…

  • You’re too old.
  • You’re too young.
  • You don’t know anybody there.
  • You already have a good job.
  • You can’t do this by yourself.
  • What is something goes wrong?
  • Why would you want to start over?
  • Don’t you like it here?
  • Why would you want to live there?
  • How can you leave/ignore/betray your family?
  • How you leave/ignore/betray your friends?
  • Aren’t you scared?

Or

  • How could you consider going back to where you started?
  • How could you give up what you have?
  • Don’t you love it here?  
  • Don’t you love us?
  • Won’t you be going backwards?
  • Why can’t you make it work here?
  • Doesn’t it feel like you’ve failed?
  • Aren’t you scared?

It’s not that they don’t love you, they just don’t love that you are considering such a big change.  Especially at your age. 

The ironic part is 50+ is when you are best equipped to make a big change.

At least that was true for me. In my 20s and 30s, I was too busy trying to gain work experience and feel comfortable with everything life threw at me. I thought about making big changes a few times, but let fear and uncertainty stifle any real action. It wasn’t until I was able to cast off all the baggage  of other people’s expectations that I could clearly hear what my soul was telling me.

And I’m so glad I listened. Because even though every major life change brings with it moments of anxiety, doubt, loneliness (and the occasional cheese dip binge), it also brings a great deal of peace. Leaving your comfort zone can be the best way to find out what—and who—really matters to you. When you put distance between you and the way things have always been, you can  turn around and view it from a different perspective. It’s like standing in a museum and staring at an oversized canvas. The tiny, insignificant details fade away, the background blurs, and what is left is the core—the passion—of the painting.

Before, you saw the faces, you heard all the noise…. Now what is left?  What images still touch your heart? Who do you genuinely miss and want to keep close forever? What truly matters in your life? I think it’s the good stuff—the stuff you have with you always, and can always return to.

uploads-14115120538776712c565-a699942a

In fact,I also think we must stay open to what comes after the big risk and the wonderful self-discovery.  Sometimes, we come to a point where we start to realize we have made the dream come true.  We did accomplish many things, have wonderful new friends, and gave ourselves a magnificent gift.  And now that we done it, we might find ourselves longing to simplify our lives even more.  And that could mean going back to where we started.  

You will learn a lot when you start any new adventure. Here’s what taking a big risk taught me:

  • How anything is possible.
  • How lonely it can be.
  • How fantastic it can be.
  • Which friendships are real.
  • Which people live in my heart.
  • The wonder of email and texting.
  • Dogs don’t like change.
  • Learning new things requires forgetting some old stuff.
  • No matter how good you feel about things, you’re still going to occasionally wake up at 3 a.m. and wonder what the hell you are doing there.
  • There’s not always going to be a sign to point you in the right direction.
  • You can mow grass while it is snowing.
  • You can come home again.  And again.
  • God is always there. He’s just quiet sometimes.

Changing your life, starting over, whatever words you use—it is not without its challenges.. But I believe the universe is standing by waiting to kick in a lot of power once you commit.  The road may not be easy.  But look where it can lead.

“Trust yourself, then you will know how to live.”     Goethe

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