Finally figuring it out.

I’ve always said by the time we leave this earth, each of us will be a genius.

I’m seeing it already. It’s taken me a long time to learn some really important things, but I finally have. For instance:

How to lubricate the garage door (and how often).

How to replace a door knob.

How to coax a dog into eating her dinner or taking a pain pill (much deception is involved).

How to remove leaves from a gutter using a very tall, very creaky ladder. Without falling.

How to unload nine 40-lb bags of mulch from the back of an SUV without requiring back surgery later (key words: two-wheeler).

That some people, for whatever reason, are going to be crabby all the time.

How good it feels to give away what you no longer use, wear, look at, read, cook with, sit on, or even think about.

That nothing will ever replace that wonderful crackly sound when you drop the stylus on an LP.

That not only is it okay to not reopen a door closed long ago after a bad ending of a relationship (romantic or friend), it’s wise.

How to change the batteries in anything. At midnight, in the dark. Without your glasses.

That as soon as you fill the bird feeder, the squirrel will come. With friends.

That WiFi only goes out when the big game is coming on.

How to find your glasses. At midnight, in the dark. Without tripping over your black dog.

That everything changes. Including people. And your ability to stay up late.

That life is short, but what you do with the time is up to you, and you should do as much as you can. Without worrying about what everyone else thinks. It’s not only okay to love yourself, it’s in your DNA. Make it count.