Author: Laura (Page 21 of 54)

Love over hate.

04/02/2018 /

Now is the season of new beginnings.  New green shoots pushing up through the mud and remnants of a long winter that for some, still rages on.  New hours of sunshine that add a touch of promise to each afternoon (who doesn’t hate driving home from work or anywhere in the dark at 5:30.)  New clothes perhaps, with brighter colors and fun patterns.

And depending upon your spiritual beliefs, new beginnings in other ways.

A fresh start.  A new day.

And how wonderful that this new beginning comes every year.  It can be about so many things….maybe it’s not having that tempting late afternoon snack that’s not helping your cholesterol.  Or putting in 5 extra minutes on the treadmill.  Or deciding to make a real effort to keep the inside of your car clean (good luck).

In other words, we all might want to start small.  Tiny strides, tiny victories that can add up.

And maybe most of all, it can be how we see the world, our neighborhood, our enemies, and ourselves.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest in New Mexico and founder of the Center of Action and Contemplation, has written what I think are some wonderful books worth checking out.  In Immortal Diamond, he talks about seeking our true self—our soul—and letting the false self die.  The false self being what we rely on in the beginning of our lives to get us through the formation of personality, career, relationships, etc…sort of like the games we have to play to get where we are.  But now that we are “here”, we can fall back to what we truly are.

Our essence.  Our link to the divine which has always been there.

There are many powerful passages in this book, but I especially like his advice for changing how we deal with negativism….our irritations with life.  How many times I’ve been cut off in traffic and uttered language I’m not proud of, or had angry thoughts about the person next to me in the express line holding 56 items instead of 5, or any other of the countless daily situations that try my patience and usually win over my feeble attempt to be a better person.  Richard Rohr has a suggestion for how to handle these moments….(from “Immortal Diamond”)….

“Next time a resentment, negativity or irritation comes into your mind…and you want to play it out or attach to it, move that thought or person literally into your heart space because such commentaries are almost entirely lodged in your head.  There, surround it with silence (which is much easier to do in the heart).  There, it is surrounded with blood, which will often feel warm like coals.  in this place, it is almost impossible to comment, judge, create story lines, or remain antagonistic.  You are in a place that does not create or feed on contraries but is the natural organ of life, embodiment, and love.  Love lives and thrives in the heart space…it can  make the difference between being happy and being miserable and negative.”

And who couldn’t use that?  A relief valve that stops the wheel of anger right in its place, that takes the negative and wraps it in love, shuts our mouth and mind, and just sits.  I sure can.

Richard Rohr calls it our “sacred heart”…where we hold things that need love and not judgment.  I think the trick is to do it immediately, when the negative voice in your head starts.  Turn off that valve and see the person or irritation moving to your heart.

It’s just a suggestion.  But it might just be a wonderful way to mark what for many, is the season of hope…when seeds start to grow.  And most happily, when those surprise crocus or tulips spring up and you don’t know how…you can’t remember planting them…but you are so glad they are there.

Maybe we can plant a few of our own right now.

 

 

Ready to Spring?

03/20/2018 /

It’s spring.  Finally.  Never thought it would get here, did you?  And it’s early this year.  Which could explain why it’s still (depending upon where you live), still cold. Rainy. Snowy. Dreary.  Disappointing.

But wait.  Even if all the above is true, chances are there are signs of spring everywhere. You just have to look harder to find them.  Like purple crocus raising their heads.  Or bountiful cherry trees quietly sharing their beauty.  Or daffodils bending in the breeze.  And of course, lots of allergens to fill your sinus cavities with seasonal splendor.

So if it’s spring, why does it sometimes feel like nothing’s changed…like the same old, same old is still here.  You aren’t feeling younger. Or more attractive.  Or like you could skip down the sidewalk with a new piece of chalk for hopskotch.

So what does Spring mean, anyway….when you get older?

We over 50 tend to hunker down during winter.  It’s chilly and humid and makes our bones talk to us.  We are wary of icy sidewalks and quite frankly, driving at night in a snowstorm isn’t our idea of a good time.  Not that it ever was, but it used to seem easier.  Or were we just more willing to take a chance?

Spring used to mean a break from school.  Maybe pulling out the fun clothes and sandals and getting some sun.  Planting seeds in the garden.  Starting a new exercise regimen or giving up fast food (at least for a few weeks) so we might fit in the summer swimsuit.

Things change.  I’ll admit to just being grateful to see the seasons change.  To realize that spring represents new life,  a shaking-off of winter doldrums and the promise of longer days and maybe lower utility bills.

Of course if you live where it snows through May, you’re still dreaming of that…and you’re tired of hearing how it’s 75 in Miami.

Here’s what a few famous folks had to say about spring:

“In the spring, I have counted 136 kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.”

         Mark Twain

“I am going to try to pay attention to the spring.  I am going to look around at all the flowers and look up at the hectic trees.  I am going to close my eyes and listen.”

      Anne Lamott

“Spring has returned.  The Earth is like a child that knows poems.”

     Rainer Maria Rilke

“Spring is nature’s way of saying:  ‘Let’s party!'”

     Robin Williams

Spring can be a challenge in many ways, filled with mud and rain and cobwebs and long lists of what needs to be done. But it can also be a beautiful time to renew the soul.

Get some sunshine.

Breathe some fresh air.

Consider new possibilities.

Wait for a butterfly to float by.

Every season that passes becomes more precious…a treasure we hold in our hearts.  Let’s enjoy this one.

“Spring is when you feel like singing even with a shoe full of slush.”

Doug Larson

Age smart: build those bones!

03/12/2018 /

Okay, winter’s almost over. So are all the resolutions.

But you can still make a profound impact on your strength and health in 2018. One that might be the difference in the quality of life you want no matter your age.

DSCN4415I’m talking about building stronger bones and muscle mass. (Stop that eye rolling and sighing. Consider a few things and then decide.)

Them bones.

Our bones are important, and we want them as strong as they can be. Hip and spine density can have a major influence on the risk for falls. The stronger your bone, the better your balance. The better your balance, the more likely you can walk with confidence, negotiate unsteady surfaces, and even stand more comfortably in the kitchen, at a museum, or while watching your grandson play soccer.

A woman’s bone density peaks at age 35, then decreases slowly (1 to 2%) after menopause. A Tufts University study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that strength training increases bone density and reduces the risk of fractures among women aged 50 to 70.

Strength training decreases the risk for osteoporosis. (And gentlemen, 20% of patients with osteoporosis are men.) Regular weight training can actually have a positive effect on this. This is major if your doctor has told you that you are losing bone density, or you are already on medication.  I sure prefer a little huffing and puffing to taking pills.

Them muscles.

According to the Mayo Clinic, muscle burns 5 times more calories than fat does. Studies show that after working out with weights, you can rev up your metabolism for up to 38 hours after a workout. Great news.

file0001915885273But building muscle mass is about more than burning fat.

It’s about being able to lift 5 pounds of sugar, 20 pounds of potatoes, or 30 pounds of dog food. It’s about being able to get up out of a chair unassisted. Holding a grandchild. Swimming a few laps in the pool and then getting out safely.  Carrying golf clubs.  Hiking a trail.

That’s why weight training for everyone 50 and over (that includes 60, 70, 80, 90….) is so powerful. It builds both bone mass and muscle mass. If you’re working your muscles, you’re working your bones. And vice versa.

While there of course are variations between men and women, studies suggest that sarcopenia (age-related muscle loss) begins at age 45. Strength then decreases by approximately 15% per decade in our 60s and 70s, and about 30% after that.

To me, that’s scary.

I have no plans to become Wonder Woman, but I would like to know that I will be able to carry my groceries, pick up a toddler, or open a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos when I’m older. (We all have our priorities.)

 So what do you do? And how often do you do it?

It’s up to each individual of course, but the experts say that some type of weight lifting regimen done two to three times a week can make a big difference no matter your age.

Even a 90-year-old who has never picked up a weight can build muscle mass.  Remember Jack LaLanne?  He never stopped working out, living to the strong age of 96.

I went to a real-live fitness expert for her thoughts. Anne is a certified ACE instructor, certified to teach seniors, certified to teach spinning, has competed in and finished triathlons and Ironmans. She also is certified to teach Body Pump.

Anne wants everyone to know that “Change is always possible; never think you are hopeless. The biggest factor truly is the quality of our lives. Will we be able to do what we want as we age? Not working muscles and bones can really affect quality of life and whether we can live at home independently.

 “The great news is you are never too old to improve your muscle mass. If you’ve been inactive a long time, the key is just to start slow and pace yourself. And even if you are wheelchair-bound, it’s possible to do simple weight training and get results.”

She says what we hear so often, because it’s true. “Make it a way of life, not a two-week fix. What we want are small changes that we can live with over time…this can result in a big change.”

 20150125And for those who dread the idea of getting up early, or going to a class, or trying something new?

“Even when you don’t want to go, chances are once you get there and do the activity, you will feel better. I’ve never been sorry later that I made myself get up early and go. Plus it’s more than exercise. If you go to a gym or participate in a group class, you make wonderful relationships, which is even more important as we get older. It’s a support system, which is very good for us as well. As an instructor, I have been profoundly affected by how I become involved in people’s lives, and the opportunity to see the progress they make.”

Anne says everyone plays a part.

“An instructor can change a life, but so can another person in a class. Maybe your friend doesn’t want to go, but sees you going and how well you are doing and decides that maybe now’s the time to try it. It’s a powerful nurturing effect we all can have on one another.”   I have found that to be true as well.  Everyone feels shy about walking into a gym, rec center or class for the first time.  But once you’re through the door, you’re welcomed and supported.  Working with a certified personal trainer or in a class with a certified instructor is the best way to gain confidence quickly—and learn the proper form so you can get the benefits without injury.

More muscle mass, stronger bones, and reduced symptoms of arthritis, diabetes, obesity, back pain and depression—weight training sounds pretty awesome.

168HAnd it’s fun! Really. I personally like how it feels afterward…like I’ve really tested myself and can feel the difference. Starting slow is truly important. But if you stick with it, I bet you’ll get hooked.

Hey, don’t get defeated because you didn’t do anything new for yourself this winter.

It’s almost spring…when the REAL change can begin!

 

“I don’t care how old I live; I just want to be LIVING while I am living!”

         Jack LaLanne

 

 

Retiring or rethinking?

02/26/2018 /

Now that you’re getting closer to retirement, or you’ve long since retired, you’ve probably faced the decision about whether you want to work longer, work part-time, try something new, or run as far as you can from anything resembling employment.  Some are more fortunate than others in this regard, and some just aren’t sure.

It’s frustrating to work hard all your life and have in the back of your mind that soon you’ll be taking it easy…at least not punching a clock every day…and then economics change that scenario.  Life is just expensive, no matter whether you stay in your same home, or you dream of moving to a new home by the  ocean or in mountains.  You may have been a saver, but you probably still wish you’d started earlier and saved more.  Or, you could  be like so many people, and only just now have the ability to save anything at all.

It’s the dilemma of the day and it’s only going to get worse. Baby boomers are living longer than previous generations and retiring later. About three in every four Americans plan to work past retirement age and almost two-thirds said they will continue to work part-time. About 10,000  turn 65 each day, yet fewer than half said they expect to retire by 65.

People are working later in life for a number of reasons. They are healthier and have a longer life expectancy than previous generations. They are better educated, which increases their likelihood of staying in the labor force. And changes to Social Security benefits and employee retirement plans, along with the need to save more for retirement, create incentives to keep working.

And whether you want to keep working, or have to, you might be thinking about a change. Maybe even working for yourself.  Data from Bureau of Labor Statistics shows hat workers in older age groups have higher rates of self-employment than do workers in younger groups. Knowledge and resources gained through years of experience may put older workers in a good position to work for themselves. (Just remember this comes with its challenges as well…do your homework!)

Or maybe you’ve spent your career in an office and would love to get into the outdoors. Or perhaps you’re retiring a  teacher and prefer giving tours of a local museum.

Then there are the challenges that come with being over 60 and wanting to be taken seriously by younger co-workers.  Society is prone to dismiss us. Younger workers often don’t even “see”  us, much less take our ideas and expertise seriously.  It often leads to baby boomers doubting themselves, wondering if they are really out of touch and have anything valuable to contribute.

Yet the good news is science is on our side.

Research shows successful older people manage to use their brains differently, and by doing so are doing just as well as younger people. One interpretation is that we boomers and beyond have a larger set of knowledge and thus we can rely on our experience when processing new information.  We use our experience as “filters,” dismissing some new information, but working more efficiently with the information we have and ultimately doing just as well as younger people with more powerful brains.

So, while the young person in the next desk can  run faster, you know the shortcuts…so you might reach the finish line just as fast.

Bottom line?  We aren’t doing things wrong, we are doing them differently. And even better…we score better in social conscientiousness, agreeableness, and emotional stability than do younger people.  This is probably not news to you. Take the cell phone away from some young people and they lose the ability to communicate.  BUT…you better be up on the technology you  need to stay in the game.

So don’t let the headlines scare you…remember you  are a reserve of knowledge, experience and sound common sense earned over a lifetime.

You have value.

Now get out there and rock it!

 

“It’s never too late to do something extraordinary.”

            Anonymous

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